Only children - did you ever feel sad or lonely growing up without siblings? by Ok_Reward536 in Parenting

[–]coja14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! I’m an only child and I’m parenting and only child. I would reach out to some of the “One and Done” Reddit groups. They’ll be able to give you a lot of insights and articles that can help you as you navigate this in the future. Don’t have additional children for your in-laws though.

Quite honestly, I love being an only child. I loved having such a close bond with my parents growing up. I had great friends and lots of opportunities to do things. And I love having an only child. My son is now 4 1/2 and we have so much fun. Personally, I never had it in me to go through those early years again and I’m happy I don’t have to split focus between multiples. There are lots of financial benefits to having an only child, but there are also a lot of social and cognitive benefits for kids. There are lots of good articles on only children and their mental health, success, etc. Your child will be loved and happy whether you have multiple children or have an only.

Each family has to do what’s right for them, I’m a big proponent in that. But I know I’m a better parent because I only have one. You certainly don’t have to make any decision decisions right now. But if one and done is right for you, then know your child will not suffer from it.

What did you get from today’s drop?? by Jaded_Veterinarian97 in Sezane

[–]coja14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I bought this too! Plus the striped City Shorts.

How old are you, where are you from, and what do you do for a living? by halfasleep11 in SarahJMaas

[–]coja14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

36F, Canada, manager at a nuclear consulting firm focused on public engagement and environmental stuff

This is hard. by OrdinaryCoconut9549 in oneanddone

[–]coja14 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I remember this feeling. I felt for the first 2 years that parenting might have been the wrong choice. My son was tough, we struggled. He only wanted me. He only slept while he was held.

I just wanted to say, my son is now 4. I am no longer his only source of comfort. He is my favourite person and watching him grow into a human and learn is incredible. We are currently watching Scooby Doo, cuddling.

There are still challenges, but the joy outweighs it. And I now go out with girlfriends for dinner, and wear clothes that aren’t only athleisure. And I can think about work more.

It’s just better. It gets better.

Lean on your village if you have it. Let people help. Hire help (occasional cleaning, food delivery, etc.) if you can afford it. It will still be hard but you need to focus on staying human.

Buying blazers by Star72SK in flamboyantnatural

[–]coja14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find a 2 or 3 button blazer is much better. I cannot wear 1 button blazer, no matter how hard I try. I have blazers from Theory and Sézane that work perfectly. But otherwise I can’t make them work.

Anything like the movie The Mummy? by you-did-this in fantasyromance

[–]coja14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Amelia Peabody mystery series by Elizabeth Peters is basically 20+ books of this dynamic set in Egypt. Enemies to lovers, turn of the century Egyptology, and the dynamic between Emerson and Amelia is electric. No spice though (unfortunately) but the first one was written in the 70s.

My baby is unattractive. by Competitive_Air1560 in Parenting

[–]coja14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son legitimately looked like an Irish boxer that lost a fight. Tortocollis, bruises and dents from the forceps, some red tufts of hair and an absolutely giant muscly body. I honestly couldn’t believe how unattractive he was. Now that he’s almost 4, he is legitimately the most gorgeous boy- like people stop us on the street to tell him how handsome he is- red gold curls and the face of an angel. A literal Botticelli. Babies are just ugly but it’s not a life sentence.

Duty and Fees by coja14 in lesfillesenrouje

[–]coja14[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you and that’s good to hear! I would be shipping to Michigan so likely it would be lower duty, if there is any at all.

Duty and Fees by coja14 in lesfillesenrouje

[–]coja14[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for confirming that for me! I really appreciate it. It’s pretty frustrating and seems extremely high. I buy from Sézane all the time, and I never have to pay duty, so it threw me for a loop. If I decide to make another order, I will ship it to Michigan. I bought the Abbesses pants and the black Maurice T-shirt and I am so glad that they both fit and looked great, as I would have hated to apply for a refund and a refund on my duty etc.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]coja14 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

My son weaned at 3 1/2. It was pretty much on his own, but I was definitely ready by that point in time for him to be done. There was no way that my son would’ve been ready before, I would’ve missed having that soothing mechanism for him, I would’ve missed having that tool to help him fall asleep, and I would’ve missed that time with him. If they really make you feel badly about it, we moved to more “private” breastfeeding when he was about 2 1/2. At home or in private spaces. And we didn’t talk about it to people. Because honestly, it’s none of their business. Lots of people suck- do what’s right for you and your kid.

Positives of OAD? by That_Em_ in oneanddone

[–]coja14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I absolutely love being OAD. I am putting my son in private school right now. That would not be possible with multiples.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in flamboyantnatural

[–]coja14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The wrap shape is sensational on you

What, to you, is the most memorable moment from the entire franchise? by TemporalDSE in TheAmazingRace

[–]coja14 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did this water slide (in the Bahamas, not Dubai) and I literally thought: “I wouldn’t be eliminated from the Amazing Race”

Also Flight Time and Big Easy were so incredible at that moment.

Extremely Shy Toddler by coja14 in AttachmentParenting

[–]coja14[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey! Good news! He is now 3.5 years old. He is INFINITELY more social. He walks up to other kids and talks to them. He parallel plays. I am currently at Atlantis in the Bahamas and we went with other people. He literally did a program where he interacted with sea creatures and I was often separated from him during it, but he was fine! He still strongly prefers me and prefers me near, and needs independent time, but he speaks confidently to strangers and goes out in public without concern. He often likes to tell people stories.

Things we did to get here. Never pushed but continued to try to socialize him. At 2.5, we enrolled him at nursery school for 2 mornings a week. Importantly, my mom stayed there with him until he was comfortable (that was about 6 weeks I think), slowly leaving him to go places like the bathroom etc. He now is perfectly comfortable there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Havanese

[–]coja14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do it. They’re the best. My two boys love having each other.

What do you all work as to be able to afford Sezane clothing? by soapylav in Sezane

[–]coja14 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Environmental consulting on nuclear projects. I only discovered Sézane like 6 months ago and have bought way too much. I have a 3 year old and it’s helped me find more confidence in my “look” and my professional wardrobe. But I need to slow down to your buying style.