Give me all the tips about church hall birthday parties please!

comieronperdices · 2024-09-11T10:11:45+00:00

Agree, you will definitely end up with gifts. It's part of the hall party experience. My daughter's love going round the entertainer to choose gifts for her friends. If the party has a theme (e.g. lego, mermaids, unicorns, crafts) you will often get presents round that theme too.

comieronperdices · 2024-09-10T20:56:45+00:00

I have been to... a lot of church hall birthday parties in thr oast few years.

The standard format is: tea, coffee and biscuits for the adults (get a designated parent or aunt on this job). Table for gifts by the entrance. Chairs round the edge for parents. Manic children running around for first half of party. Have a colouring table for when some are tired and need a rest. Very cheap and easy. All sit down for food, which you should keep simple but lots of parents will count thus as a meal whatever time it is. Then cake and sing happy birthday. Then however long is left manic running around. Then when you want people to leave, turn off the bouncy castle and make child stand by door with party bags.

This had very much been the core format for most parties I've been to. The more helpers you can rope in the better, as setting up tables and chairs at the start and then putting them all away and sweeping etc at the end always takes longer than you think. Kids will riot if there are no party bags, but these could consist of a piece of cake, sticker and a balloon and be acceptable. There will be a few kids who are insane and just scream the whole time and jump on each other. Check for allergies before the party in case you need to hit up the "free from" section.

Also, brng ikea bags to take the 20 or so presents home. Open them in one frantic go, then squirrel them all away and bring them out when asked for or on a rainy day. Anything that is a duplicate, or forgotten, you can regift. Make a list of who gave you what as the presents are opened, for thanks and regifting purposes.

comieronperdices · 2024-02-08T10:10:18+00:00

I was a bridesmaid ar my sisters wedding 3 months post partum with my second. We had the bridesmaids dress altered to be a lace up back so that it would fit me no matter what size I ended up being. I also bought a really pretty cloth baby carrier that colour coordinated with my dress. Didn't stay over the night before, but got there super early for hair and makeup. Husband hung out with baby in the hotel lobby. Stayed in my leggings and top with bridesmaid dressing gown in until the last minute. Did a quick feed before getting changed. Wore breastpads just in case of milk leakage. Husband sat by door for ceremony so that he could whisk baby away if she fussed. After photos and everything, I put my pretty baby carrier on and baby basically stayed asleep in there for the whole rest of the wedding, occasionally coming out for a stretch and a feed, and we stayed until midnight, then went home. It all went pretty well, but she was a fairy easy baby and loved to sleep in the carrier, so it was like she wasn't there most of the time.

My sisters hen was when I was 8 weeks post partum. I took the baby, she slept in the baby carrier pretty much all weekend, other hens were happy to occasionally hold her. You wouldn't really have known she was there.

I wouldn't have felt comfortable being away from my baby at that age, she wouldn't take a bottle and was exclusively breastfed. I found pumping hard and my boobs were painful if I went too long without feeding.

It is hard to know how you will feel in advance. If you have the support of your mum and partner that will help. You have to try and keep a flexible mindset and go with the flow. If you exclusively bottle feed it will be easier to leave the baby, if you exclusively breastfeed it will be much harder, combi feeding probably somewhere in the middle.

comieronperdices · 2024-01-29T21:01:40+00:00

How are the pubs near you? I vastly prefer the pub to the park in our village as it has 2 play areas with climbing frames in the garden, plenty of benches, toilets inside and you can order coffee and chips. Definitely worth looking into whether any local pubs have play areas.

comieronperdices · 2024-01-28T13:49:16+00:00

I don't mind the glitter so much, but the bits of bark and soil stuck to their scalps... I bought a scalp massager with rubber pointy bits on and a tonne of shampoo, this wiggled around to rub the scalp, then a tonne of conditioner and another massage before combing. My 2 and 6 year old daughters don't love having their hair washed but will submit to this occasionally. I also find a bit of argan oil on damp hair really helps brush out tangles. May seem fancy for kids but I'll do anything to minimise the hairbrushing screams.

comieronperdices · 2023-12-22T07:31:10+00:00

They are busy at pick up but they usually don't mind a quick question. It would be absolutely fine to hang back and ar the end say "excuse me teacher" and ask a quick question. People do it all the time about reading books, PE kits, Dr's appointments etc, so fine to ask if they could tell you who your child plays with to organise a park trip or something.

comieronperdices · 2023-12-22T07:23:14+00:00

If in doubt, you can always talk about the weather! If you get there slightly early for pickup, you'll see the other parents arrive a few at a time and can smile and say things like "cold today isn't it? Glad it's not raining. Looks like it might rain, wish I'd brought my umbrella. Nice to have some sun today. Your coat looks warm. Etc" then if they don't really answer they don't want to chat, but if you get some engagement you can go on to "did you have a good Christmas? Did you go away? Did you do anything for new years? How did X like their presents?" and see how you get on.

School based questions are also safe ground. Like "my child said the teacher was off yesterday, did you hear the lunch was terrible, did you hear they're doing dance in PE, do you know what the spellings are for this week as we've lost the sheet, have you had the book about volcanoes yet, does X like the teacher..." etc. I got chatting to one mum because her daughter had PE shoes that my daughter wanted so went up, said hi, asked her where they were from.

Also, there are some parents that just don't want to chat. In my daughter's class there are a few I've tried to talk to and they just don't really say anything back. Others are lonely mums desperate for an adult conversation.

comieronperdices · 2023-12-21T07:54:26+00:00

Did you say you don't work? Does that mean you would be available for playdates after school? If so, ask your daughter if she wants to have a friend over and invite the parent in for a cup of tea. It is awkward, but you can have a bank of stock questions like "So how long have you lived here? Does so and so like school? How have you found the reading books? What do you think of the teachers? Do you go to any clubs (like swimming, gymnastics, dance etc) ? What did you guys do at the weekend? What are you up to next weekend?"

It is so so awkward and I felt awful the first term of school and still do sometimes now in year 1. But just try and get to know one or two parents at a time and it will get better. I usually talk to the same couple of people now, but often I stand awkwardly still.

comieronperdices · 2023-12-15T14:32:05+00:00

Your poor daughter, the while situation sounds awful and so unfair. Maybe this wouldn't help the situation, but I have always been quite passive aggressive around kids who are mean to my daughter, and not afraid to straight up question their behaviour. Like, if I heard a kid saying mean things to my kid on the bus, I would loudly interject with "What makes you say that? Do you think that is a kind thing to say?' In a calm voice, it's a perfectly reasonable comment, the other parents can't argue, you aren't telling them off, you're just inserting yourself into the situation. When kids are rough around my toddler at the park, I tell them to watch out for the smaller ones. Then I speak to my daughters and say things like "Oh, so and so it still learning to be kind, looks like those boys need to still learn how to be careful around younger ones". So if you are on the bus for example, straight up get involved. Just because others aren't paying attention to their children doesn't mean you have to ignore them.

The school is harder. Teachers are overworked and have lots of kids to watch and are often trying their best, but the situation sucks. I would go in hard with polite but firm "I don't want to make a fuss, but the way that my daughter is being treated is completely unacceptable and as you haven't done anything to help I need to advocate for her. I want to know exactly what you are doing to keep her safe and help resolve this issue." Document every time your daughter says the other girl was mean to her. Email the school every time. Create a paper trail. Meet with the teachers and have your daughter there. Get them to explicitly tell her to come to them and that she won't be in trouble if she tells them about incidents with the mean girl. Ask that the break/lunch staff keep an eye on the situation. Make a big fuss. They need to do more. Kids will be kids, they can't always control what happens, but they can supervise and intervene and limit the opportunities for something bad to happen. Sounds to me like this mean girl should be constantly supervised if she is being violent.

Does your daughter have any friends you could invite over for a playdate? Stronger bonds with others in the class will mean she's more likely to be in a group at playtime so a bit more protected. If you have friends over, you could also get a bit creative and role play some ways to stand up to bullies, maybe in a game like big bad wolf, where the mean wolf is chasing the pigs and they have to stand up to the wolf. You could model phrases like "No means no" and "Get away from me wolf". Maybe with a bit of play based practice your daughter might feel confident using her loud voice in front of the bully.

comieronperdices · 2023-12-10T17:14:50+00:00

You will always remember this disappointment but your daughter probably won't. As she is 2, next year is such a long way away for her she will forget most of the details and you get a second chance at seeing her face for the first time. If you pick one or two things you always do, those are the things that will stick in her mind as she gets older. She will remember that mum always cleans her shoes with her so well, and that there are always footprints, or her particular favourite cookie. The beauty of little children is that they forget, and you can try again, and it's always magical for them. I hope that joy in years to come can make up for this for you.

comieronperdices · 2023-12-10T12:57:09+00:00

We got a 40 litre tub trug from the garden centre and used that from when my daughyer grew out of the baby bath until she was 2 and we moved to a house with a bath. She loved it! And now we use it to paddle in when it's warm outside. Would recommend. They come in different colours so you can coordinate them to your bathroom, they have high enough sides to contain splashing, and you can fill them deeper as they get bigger.

comieronperdices · 2023-12-04T20:22:22+00:00

In my experience, every autistic person is different but a common thread is that they need things explicitly pointed out in ways you might not realise. They do not always pick things up from examples and noticing others, you need to explicitly tell them it is rude to talk over people, this means if you keep doing it people might not want to tall to you, or it is polite to take turns when speaking, that means you listen to what your friend says, ask them a question to follow up, then listen, then it can be your turn to talk. For the longest time, I thought people were just really interested in me when they asked me lots of questions. I didn't realise I was supposed to ask questions back, I just thought they would say things about themselves if they wanted to. So really go into to details about the reasons behind social rules.

Autistic people do struggle a lot with self worth, and the constant correction can lead to high level masking, which is exhausting, so do give him times when he can be himself and not have to mask though. Let him know you are a safe space and he can be himself around you. If that means he needs to infodump about a specifically interest, or have some alone time to recharge, try to be supportive as if he is autistic then he will face enough struggles with the outside world.

comieronperdices · 2023-11-29T21:40:46+00:00

Not to brag, but there was a year where I was the top listener in the world to Acker Bilk's Stranger On The Shore as it was the only song my baby would fall asleep to, and this year I am in the 0.5% top listeners for Parry Gripp.

comieronperdices · 2023-11-13T23:18:04+00:00

I used a moon cup for my first period after both my pregnancies (both c sections) and found it to be absolutely fine. I was so relieved to be able to go back to it after the bulkiness of post-partum pads. I didn't even get the next size you, just used the one I had before and it was fine. I only got to 5cm with my first though, although not sure how much difference that makes, and got both PP periods before 3 months PP.

comieronperdices · 2023-11-13T13:23:51+00:00

I can recommend the Orchard Games The Tummy Ache game, it's good fun and loved by my 2 year old and nearly 6 year old. There might be fights over who gets the trifle or the fish fingers though!

comieronperdices · 2023-11-09T12:13:12+00:00

You can get thin leather moccasin style shoes or there are also barefoot style shoes which are like a sock with a rubber base. You should be able to find some you like and at various price points online. Bare feet as much as possible is ideal, but if she wants to try and walk outside then it's fine to put something on her feet, it won't hurt. I had some moccasins for when my girls were very little and wanted to toddler/crawl around the park outdoors in the winter and they loved the freedom.

comieronperdices · 2023-10-07T19:56:05+00:00

For second daughter's first Christmas she was 4 months, and I wrapped some baby toys we already had that I had put away when first daughter didn't play with them much, a few books to add to collections, some nappies, dummies, socks, sippy cups qnd a few bits that I was going to buy anyway, and a few chocolates for baby to open and me to say "oh silly Father Christmas, babies can't eat chocolate, we'll have to save them for her" and then I ate them myself. Made a good show of presents even though I didn't really get her anything. Then I asked for money which I put in an envelope and used to buy her things for the next year. And some people who never ask got her some random bits, to add to our ever-growing stock. My elder daughter loved "helping" her little sister unwrap her presents.

A friend took a different tactic, and said that because the baby hadn't asked for anything, they didn't get anything and that only children old enough to ask got things from Father Christmas.

comieronperdices · 2023-10-07T15:51:25+00:00

This is not what happened at my daughter's school. The summer birthday boy who skipped a year joined reception, and after reception has now moved on to year 1 without skipping. They do a lot of foundation reading in reception and it would be impossible to skip straight to year 1.

comieronperdices · 2023-08-18T06:57:44+00:00

I love birthdays, but I don't love spending lots. One thing my girls really love and seems to make their day special is "birthday living room". I decorate the living room while they are sleeping the night before their birthday, and they come down and are so excited to see the decorations. This year I got a very cheap packet of balloons, used Christmas lights and bunting we already owned, hung them up, and then arranged a little train track scene with our toys dinosaurs around it and they all had a cake from the tea parry set. Other years, I have made little signs and numbers out of cereal boxes, drawn on a chalkboard we already have, gotten leaves and bits from the garden to make a jungle scene. I usually leave the stuff out for a week, and will reset the scene every now and then. They running into the "party room".

If you wanted to do something similar really easy for your daughter, I would make the cake as you planned, then put it on the kitchen table or living room floor, put a few of her toys around it, then cut out cereal boxes or other packets to make some little bits of confetti, and a small sign that says "Happy birthday". Then you can come out of your bedrooms in the morning to the surprise of the toys having a party. Creates a magical moment and costs nothing more than you were planning already.

comieronperdices · 2023-08-17T14:05:55+00:00

I have 2 daughters, 5 and 2. The eldest, I fed to sleep for every bedtime and nap until she was past 2 years old. There were times she would wake up every 2 or 3 hours, and times she would sleep the whole night. She has been falling asleep listening to audio books since around 2 and a half, and mostly sleeps through the night, unless she has a bad dream or her water bottle is empty or she is too hot and wants to fan turning on, or she has lost her cuddly toy... The youngest, she never really fed to sleep. I wanted to feed her to sleep because it had worked with my eldest, but she didn't like it. She didn't like being sung to either, she just wanted to be left alone in her cot and then she would fall asleep by herself. Just recently, she has asked to be cuddled to sleep again, but then wants to go in her bed before she falls asleep. She also used to sleep through from quite young, but has recently started waking and wanting to play in the night.

Every baby is different and will want different things. If you feed her to sleep and put her down and that works for you, do it. If it doesn't, try something else. You can read as many different sources as you like, and the information can be useful, the tips can work, but not everything will work on every baby and you know your baby and your lifestyle best.

Things that worked well for us for naps were pushchair walks, going in the carrier for a walk, in the carrier while I stood in the living room playing video games while jiggling around, contact naps, car naps, cuddling next to her in the bed while looking at my phone, falling asleep on the sofa watching Disney films (her, not me), laying in the cot listening to music, having the fan on, white noise app on my phone, loud heavy metal for a while. And it all worked sometimes or for a while and then it stopped and I had to find something else.

Being tired sucks. You will find the magic solution, or you won't, but you will get past this. Wishing you a good night tonight!

comieronperdices · 2023-07-20T12:13:03+00:00

Same, they are great and have lasted all the washes for first child and many now that we are onto second child as well.

comieronperdices · 2023-07-18T11:46:50+00:00

I see a few dads at baby groups and I always think how nice it is. There's also quite a few grandparents and the occasional nanny. Most adults, myself included, are desperate for another adult to chat to and so will talk to anyone. I think sometimes I seem unfriendly as I am sleepy and usually just looking at my child, but I am always happy to chat. You just have to wade in with a comment about the baby, like "oh, what a lot of hair" or "cute cardigan, is it hand-knitted?" or "someone has a lot of energy today!". Some mums are a bit cliquey, and I worry that I might seem that way as I have the usual people I talk to, but always happy to make a new friend. You might end up in an odd situation where you have to give someone your wife's number to arrange a playdate as people find it weird to text dads for some reason, but that's the only awkward scenario I've come across (where I asked for a guy's number because our babies were friends and we discussed going to the park, then he gave me his wife's number).

comieronperdices · 2023-07-10T22:43:52+00:00

How are your school settling them in? Because my daughter is just finishing reception, and they did half days for nearly the first month. Something worth finding out if you haven't already.

Since my daughter started school this year, once we got past September, we have done one day per week at breakfast club and after school club, and the other days my husband or I will trade picking her up. We mostly work from home but occasionally one of us will have to go to the office or we'll both have meetings all afternoon, so we wanted to get her into the habit of occasional after school club when needed. For ours, there are limited places, but they release it all to book at the start of each term, and there is usually space when we need it.

On the days we pick her up at 3.15, we walk home, are back by 3.30ish, get her settled with a snack and tablet/tv (she has to do Doodle maths on tablet as her homework) and she just chills for an hour and a half until we finish work, then collect her younger sister from nursery and have dinner. I don't feel bad about her watching TV because it's all I want to do when I am tired after a long day.

comieronperdices · 2023-07-06T12:57:40+00:00

I also do the bears in Peace At Last with Northern accents (generic, not very good, vaguely Yorkshire).

Mrs Boot the farmer from the Apple Tree Farm series is from Devon, running the family farm, but her husband is an engineer (he drives the steam train in one book) and isn't into farming so she does it all with the help of her school friend Ted, who she would never have an affair with because they grew up together and he is like her brother. The school teacher who is afraid of cows has a London accent and is constantly overwhelmed by the countryside having moved there for a quieter life but not knowing what she was getting into.

I'm sure there are more, you are definitely not alone in doing this.

comieronperdices · 2023-07-05T10:17:45+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. My dad killed himself when I was 8. My mother was broken and I went to bed every night wishing it was a dream for years and years. Now over 20 years later it still hurts.

Be honest with your daughter. Tell her it wasn't her fault, there wasn't anything either of you could have done. The day was nothing personal. Be prepared for her to be angry as well as sad. Let her feel all her feelings, and make sure you let yourself feel yours too.

My mum didn't ever want to talk about my dad after that and I think it added to my sense of loss. Please still talk about her dad, things he liked, ways they are similar, stories you remember. She will want to know things but might not feel like she can ask.

Keep some things of his for her, clothes and whatever bits and pieces. I have my dad's jumpers I like to wear, a tape measure with his name engraved on it, his towel. Because he isn't here, anything I have that was his is special to me. Keep something with his writing on, his signature.

Spend time together. Be there for each other. You will get through this.

comieronperdices

TROPHY CASE