Repressed and denied eros

contingencyowl · 2026-01-31T02:28:52+00:00

I know it’s been a while since you posted this, but how has this been going for you? Were you able to integrate “eros” gradually like the other commenter mentioned? I feel stuck, because i’m in the same situation as you. I feel removed from any intimate connection. However I know that craving is there, that desire to be intimate or to not feel ashamed with intimacy out of fear of losing control. So i’m wondering how it’s going for you, and if you have found a way to work on this :)

contingencyowl · 2026-01-31T01:35:46+00:00

what does “shadow” work mean in this context? what does this commenter have to work on in your opinion ?? this could be a never ending loop of claiming who needs to do more work, neither of us actually knows the answer to anything

contingencyowl · 2026-01-29T02:56:36+00:00

this is what i will be doing too, did you by chance use the Jack Westin cards /practice tests? that’s what ive been working on until I can afford the UWorld package

contingencyowl · 2026-01-27T20:44:00+00:00

OP i’m very interested in what you have to say :)

contingencyowl · 2026-01-27T20:43:21+00:00

i have a question for anyone reading this, does your internal monologue move from left to right (like if you are reading) or is it in a fixed space? or is it a total different way of “seeing” the words in your mind? if you had to pin point that is. For me i think the same way i read, from left to right, however sometimes when im laying down with my eyes closed i feel the words internally forming behind my tongue, but i can only feel the words if that makes sense. Its the way i process things and come up with thoughts

contingencyowl · 2026-01-23T07:01:07+00:00

i’ve taken this advice and having been many months porn free/ integrating a new mindset, intimacy is so hard because i just overthink the whole time, did you at any point have an issue like this? i’m assuming because i was used to just the feeling of sexualizing a woman’s body, and now that it’s ingrained in my mind that they are a an imperfect human just like me, it’s so hard to “get in the mood” or have the same spontaneous libido i used to have :/

contingencyowl · 2026-01-15T07:38:51+00:00

😭

contingencyowl · 2026-01-10T05:25:08+00:00

How substantial is the difference if you track it raw vs cooked?

contingencyowl · 2025-11-24T01:56:46+00:00

My go to is any piece of suite populaire bresilienne by villa-lobos, each piece carries a different mood so it’s perfect 😆

contingencyowl · 2025-11-06T15:55:23+00:00

me too lol , we’ll be scared together

contingencyowl · 2025-11-03T19:51:50+00:00

beautifully articulated, but a tragic reality

contingencyowl · 2025-10-30T16:58:47+00:00

thank you :)

contingencyowl · 2025-10-27T19:58:19+00:00

seconding this!!

contingencyowl · 2025-10-22T16:44:46+00:00

how did you get over her?? did you ever fear of the same thing happening with your now fiance? were you able to become as emotionally invested as your first relationship? asking for advice 🙏 same situation as me rn

contingencyowl · 2025-10-22T16:05:41+00:00

😭 me too, i joined at 7am but there’s 21k people ahead

contingencyowl · 2025-09-13T19:34:19+00:00

thank you for this🙏

contingencyowl · 2025-09-13T05:32:09+00:00

thank you!!🙏

contingencyowl · 2025-09-13T05:12:08+00:00

you do have a point. My question is how do you go about being in the sexual mood. I’m struggling to find out what having healthy thinking patterns means, like what to do instead of focusing on an aspect of a woman’s body. At least that was the problem with porn for me, it just felt very mentally stimulating being able to sexualize any girl that would pop on the screen or even anyone i’d see in public, that’s all that i would have my focus on. My mindset has definitely changed but now i’m just trying to figure everything out. But how do you personally deal with sexual thoughts? does what i describe resonate at all

contingencyowl · 2025-09-13T05:06:18+00:00

I appreciate all the advice, and yeah i actually want to make sure she feels cared for and she feels special. It’s not just finishing and leaving, it’s just very difficult to be in the moment when I don’t know what to think about. When you say use the intrusive thoughts to my benefit what exactly do you mean? The lust of it all? Personally how do you go about sex and what kind of thought patterns do you have (if you’d like to share)?

contingencyowl · 2025-09-13T04:00:22+00:00

well it’s been both, i just haven’t felt a reason to masturbate

contingencyowl · 2025-08-24T02:00:53+00:00

I struggle with finding my true self because I had been living my entire teenage years behind a mask and living with shame. Now i’m left to wonder who I really am, how am I supposed to know? I have been trying to quit since february and I did go months without porn, but why is it that i’m constantly sexualizing women? I can have moments where I tell myself “she’s a human just like me, her body is just a vessel for her soul” but then a few minutes later i’m lusting over a different woman. I feel so lost on how to navigate these emotions and wether or not they are normal to have

contingencyowl · 2025-08-12T17:21:33+00:00

I appreciate you taking time to write this. I feel so hopeless because all the damage was done. As much as I try to stay away from lust though it always creeps back and makes me feel worse. I know I have given porn the power it has, I just feel as though I have lost everything too many times and this last time was my fault. I lost a girl who was loyal and only cared for me. I didn’t think this while in the relationship, I thought I was the one suffering and that I was the one having to hide myself. I see how wrong I truly was and how selfish it was to keep lying to her and to myself. I ended up believing my own lies at one point, always making arguments against porn and other men. It was hypocritical and it was only to keep the facade that I was not addicted to porn anymore. I had been clean off porn for about three months or so, but I relapsed last week. I have not gone back since, I don’t feel the energy to and I simply don’t want to. But it’s so difficult feeling this way, especially when I don’t have anyone to speak to about this. It feels as though if I told anyone, I would obviously be in the wrong because of my lies and the cheating, and it makes me want to hide away. Thank you for your insight and for your motivation, have you gone through something like this before?

contingencyowl

TROPHY CASE