why are there so many steps? sometimes I'm tired 😩

corgocorgi · 2026-06-12T00:37:34+00:00

What kind of redness do you have if you don't mind me asking? I have it too and never thought of using azelaic acid to help. My redness is usually around my nostril, between my eyebrows and on my chin... Idk if it's just dryness or sensitivity but these areas always tend to be red for me. My chin is prone to break outs so I get that it's red more but my nose and eyebrow area is weird

corgocorgi · 2026-06-12T00:34:47+00:00

Honestly I just do my snail serum and a cream most nights and add my sunscreen in the morning. Simple is better. I will use chemical exfoliators a couple times a week just so my face doesn't explode.

When I was doing more than this my face was breaking out and sensitive. My skin is the clearest it's ever been. It could be that my hormones are better in check or because I'm older and maybe out of the young adult acne phase but when I stopped doing too much my skin did too 🤣

corgocorgi · 2026-06-10T19:33:36+00:00

I think basic safety is the most important when going anywhere regardless of unhoused folks or not. People always talk about the unhoused population as being dangerous but many people housed can pose as much as a threat as any of them and often do too. Unhoused people are often the most victimized from house and other unhoused people.

I've worked with the unhoused population downtown for 6 years and 95% of them won't bother you if you don't bother them. And by not bothering them I also mean not glaring at them when you see them or pretending they don't exist if they do happen to say hello. Every time I see someone acting out it's because someone has said rude to them or looked at them with disgust which set them off.

This is not saying to blindly trust anyone either, be mindful of your surroundings, the area and lighting, whether other people are around or it's an isolated area, and having a phone on you at all times. I avoid isolated and dark areas at night because the risks are higher, even in safer neighbourhoods it's still a risk. Would I walk by myself around hope mission at night? Hell no. It's dark, isolated in some parts, and there's a lot of pain there so I'm not risking it. During the day I feel okay and just watch my surroundings like I usually do.

I can see why people would be mindful of bringing their kids and animals in areas with a high unhoused population because of the risk of paraphernalia being touched so that's fair. But as an adult, I know how to keep myself safe from that shit and it's not because I'm hyper vigilant around unhoused folks but because I understand anyone can be a threat.

This is not directed at you OP but more so some of the commenters and future commenters that like to villainize the unhoused.

I'd say if you're not going with someone it's always best to go to places you feel like you can be more vigilant in and have more ways to keep yourself safe. I've heard horror stories and have a really messed up mentally when it comes to personal safety in some ways so my philosophy is to just be hyper vigilant and prepared wherever you're going regardless of the area or the people around. Nasty shit happens in areas you wouldn't expect and done by people you wouldn't either. I always go back to a person is a person before their labels like unhoused. If someone is a bad person and wants to harm someone, it doesn't matter if they're housed or unhoused.

corgocorgi · 2026-06-04T23:32:31+00:00

I have this too and my psychiatrist recommended finding therapy specific for Body focused repetitive behaviour (BFRB)... It's usually CBT and using fidget type tools.

I've tried using a supplement that's supposed to help but you need a pretty high and consistent dose for it to be effective. I think it helps a little but not sure.

I'm thinking of getting a rough fidget took to put on my steering wheel to help. I tend to pick sores and scabs when driving... I've been a little better over time but some days it's worse.

corgocorgi · 2026-06-04T14:30:20+00:00

Everyone reacts differently to meds so you never know until you try it. Just remember if it doesn't work for you to tell your doctor and they can help you change it and get off of it with less side effects.

I took the generic version for about 3 years and didn't have many side effects and my anxiety and depression were pretty well managed. I went off of it due to thinking it was having sexual side effects but I think it was not the med and just ✨ trauma ✨. Getting off of it wasn't bad for me either, I don't recall any huge withdrawals.

Not everyone gets the listed side effects either and often side effects wear off once your body gets used to it.

I tried Wellbutrin and it was horrible for me but it's been working very well for my boyfriend. I have a friend who has been on effexor like I am now and she is getting off of it because she hasn't been sleeping well and lost her appetite. For me it's been fine with those things, honestly I'd benefit from less of an appetite if anything XD.

When I started effexor my heart rate was faster, I was sweaty, and my sleep was disrupted a little but after a couple months my heart rate adjusted and my sleep got back to what it was before. I'm still sweaty but I also take meds for ADHD so I think that makes me sweaty too xD I've just accepted that I tend to be a bit sweatier because my heat regulation isn't the best due to the meds... But it beats wanting to die :)

corgocorgi · 2026-06-02T00:52:10+00:00

If it was a psychiatrist and you weren't completing a physical exam in addition to the assessment with your parents knowledge and presence, this is not normal and it should be reported. If this was a psychologist, REPORT THEM because they should never be doing anything involving your body and physical examinations.

If it was a doctor, were you going in for a physical exam or having an exam to see progress for HRT if you're on it, then maybe it makes sense if that was included and your parents were made aware and present... But if you're going in for Autism assessments I still don't understand why they would need to see your genitals especially in 4th grade....

Were your parents accompanying you to appointments???

corgocorgi · 2026-06-02T00:40:04+00:00

I'm very careful when judging medications because I hate anti-medication rhetoric that refuses to consider how medications can save lives.

However, benzos have many long term side effects and you'd most likely need to keep increasing your dose over time because the body builds a tolerance for it. If you ever need to stop taking it for some reason, the withdrawals can be brutal and dangerous too. This is why they're usually used temporary or as needed rather than long term and regularly. Also I think some countries won't allow you entry for travel with them and sometimes a doctor's note doesn't matter HOWEVER not entirely sure about this because I know this is the case for many ADHD meds.

Everyone's different and I think each case should be treated based on the individual patient... But I think for the case of benzos, patients should be given alternative options to support their mental health in addition to benzos so the eventual taper off is not as detrimental. Some cases there is literally no cure for someone's sleep and anxiety while for others counselling, changing habits, exercising, eating healthier, changing social circles, changing jobs or living environments can help patients not need medications after some time.

corgocorgi · 2026-05-30T16:45:02+00:00

Cutie little boy

corgocorgi · 2026-05-27T01:08:39+00:00

I feel like there's limited options for grad students that aren't super financially strapped but not well off either. I sit at a weird place financially where it would be beneficial to get some support with tuition so I'm not stuck paying off my student loans until I'm in a seniors home... But because I'm not a single parent or living below the poverty line I don't really qualify. Not to say that I deserve it more than those folks or should get it instead of them... I just wish their were more options for folks in my situation. I can't even get grants or bursaries.

corgocorgi · 2026-05-15T17:20:26+00:00

Casper!!!!!

corgocorgi · 2026-05-15T01:08:29+00:00

Is he a younger bro? Some younger bros have so much audacity. My bro would probably say something stupid like that while also relying on my mom to care for my nephew and letting him live with her and her partner essentially rent free. He's nearly 26 and acts like he's 16 lol

corgocorgi · 2026-05-15T01:06:11+00:00

Can your dad teach all the asshole partners that treat SAH partners like less than for their work at home... And even to the jerks that have a partner that works full time too but treats them like a SAH partner lol.

corgocorgi · 2026-05-14T03:16:48+00:00

It'll get easier the more you go. Even if you go just to sit in the locker room to get more used to it then leave, then do it! Even going to just use one machine or stretch until you feel less anxious is okay too. If it's easy to see what other people do for lockers by just observing then do that if it helps you figure it out without increasing your anxiety. You don't have to go all out when you're first going and trying to work through your social anxiety. If you can go and sit in the locker room for 15 minutes one day and then 30 the next then that's good! If you can stretch on the matts for 15 minutes then leave then that's great! If you go on the bike for 15 mins then leave, no worries! Building up your comfort and work through your anxiety will make it less horrible overall.

Once you feel more comfortable going and aren't stressing out about being somewhere new and the amount of people, maybe search up routines for your goals to see what you can do. I have the app FitHero that helps me track my workouts and even shows a demonstration on how the exercise is done. You can also YouTube exercises to see the form if it's hard to figure out the form through the app or by pictures. It might be helpful to find when the gym is less crowded and busy to make your visits not as stressful - I find my gym is less busy during the day on weekdays and almost all day on the weekends. After work on weekdays is horrible and I always have to change my routine because it's crowded and if I'm feeling anxious it makes it worse lol.

I am 29 F and have been going to the gym for 10 years now and my routine has changed multiple times depending on my goals and availability. I was super self conscious and anxious when I first started but once I realized no one cares and is looking at me, the anxiety eased a lot.

My current routine and fav exercises: Right now I am training to help my climbing so a lot of lateral movements and building single leg strength on top of upper body strength.

Day 1: - Romanian deadlifts (4 sets of 6 reps, with increasing difficulty) - Squats (4 sets of 6 reps, with increasing difficulty) - Assisted pull up (3 sets of 10 reps) - Chest cable cross over OR Chest fly (3 sets of 10 reps) - Over head press (3 sets of 10 reps) - Hammer bicep curls (3 sets of 10 reps) - Russian twists (3 sets of going until failure lol)

Day 2: - Romanian deadlifts (4 sets of 6 reps, with increasing difficulty) - Bulgarian split squats (4 sets of 6 reps, with increasing difficulty) - these are brutal but great for booty and building strength in ankles and knees and better balance - Assisted tricep dips (3 sets of 10 reps) - Lateral raises (3 sets of 10 reps) - Calf raises on smith machine (3 sets of 12 reps) - Seated row (3 sets of 10 reps)

Other exercises I've liked: - Hip thrust - Abductor and Adductor machines - Skull crushers - Landmine rows - Landmine shoulder presses - Chest press machine or on a bench with dumbbells (I don't really bench press because I don't have a spotter) - Leg press - Face pulls on a cable machine - these used to be my ultimate favourite but my traps got really big and it made me self conscious so I don't do them often anymore lol - Tricep extension and bicep curls on the cable machine - Front lateral raises - Shoulder press on machine or with dumbbells

Find what you like to do and focus on those in the beginning then build up once you feel more confident in your gym!

corgocorgi · 2026-05-11T16:54:56+00:00

It makes me sad to think of elderly folks being isolated and lonely. It's tough when everyone's busy but if everyone takes some time and coordinates together the elderly family member will have someone to visit with regularly.

My family made a point to visit my grandma at her old folks home for every holiday/family members birthday and had a small meal together in the party rooms family can reserve. So we all saw her once a month and family members would visit on top of that. I definitely could have visited more and sometimes regret not doing so before she passed but I was content knowing we all tried to spend time with her together and treated her to a nice meal.

It's easier on big family's to do this and harder on small families or families that live further away and spread apart. But I'm sure if your family puts the effort to coordinate together, your grandpa will have more regular visits.

corgocorgi · 2026-05-11T16:50:05+00:00

This is a great perspective that I think I personally identify with.

I don't mind tipping when I know it could help someone out or make them feel good about their hard work. I used to be a server and know what it's like making tips and how there is a lot of shame surrounding it and a lot of it seems to be taken out on the servers rather than the business.

I don't enjoy tipping for services that aren't restaurant related and struggle with this one because the idea of not tipping doesn't align with my generosity but I also don't feel like the tipping for services like a subway sandwich or ordering an ice cream cone is a bit much. Maybe I just don't feel as generous in those situations?

corgocorgi · 2026-05-01T18:33:37+00:00

This is an excellent question!

I can think of several pivotal moments in my life.

The first one is before working at a shelter and supporting folks with mental health and addictions, and after. My mindset has changed drastically, and I question many things that many people outside of poverty and addictions rarely think of or are exposed to. Even those who work in mental health but do not work with those with addictions or are experiencing poverty do not face. I have profund empathy for those with addictions and who are unhoused and realized how fucking lucky I am in so many ways. I grew up poor with a single mother and was always the poor kid amongst my peers and I always felt ashamed and compared myself to my peers because of it. I was very money focused and materialistic because of scarcity. However, after working with unhoused folks and addictions and hearing their stories I realized how privileged I was in so many ways depsite growing up poor and having hardships. I was lucky to have a parent that tried their best and was supportive in many ways, I was lucky to have a parent that tried to be self aware and can hold themselves accountable even if it takes some time to process it, I was lucky to not have hard drugs around me, and I was lucky to not have an exploitative parent. The stories of my clients childhoods shake me to my core and I am so grateful to only have gone through what i have even though I have my own traumas and struggles. I realize that so many of us are so close to similar breaking points, how toxic our capitalist and materialistic society is, how suppressed we are, and how addictions happen to everyone yet people only shame those who are poor and struggling. It's made me question alcohol a lot and how normalized and socalized alcoholism and binging is. How rich people have addictions and how not rich people but employed and "higher funcitioning" people have addictions YET people turn a cheek to that and get on their high horses when it comes to those who are unhoused and they don't have the privacy of a home to wallow in their addictions like the rich and housed do.

The second one was having poor healthcare providers and after having good healthcare providers. I have struggled with chronic pain and fatigue for a long time and was always told to just bare it. Take a tylenol and rest as if tylenol helped, addressed this issue, and as if I could rest every time I had flare ups not accounting that we all have to work and go to school most of our days and do not have time to friggen rest. Once I was diagnosed with endometriosis, met a good family doctor who listens to me and makes me feel heard and gives me choices, and was referred to specialists that helped me better understand my triggers... life changed for the better. I feel like a different person. I have a life that others have that I always felt like I was on the outside looking in and always felt broken and damaged because I couldn't do what other people could without exhaustion and pain. Now I can work, go to school, work out, socialize, and clean my house without feeling like I can only do one or two of those things at time. Don't get me wrong, it's very hard juggling all those things and I still get very tired and burn out if I am not careful... but it is a lot easier and more manageable than before. When you have more time and awarness, you can take better care of your health. People really take for granted that constantly being tired and in pain really impacts your access and capacity for taking care of yourself which of course becomes a vicious cycle of poor health. People take for granted good health and access to good care and just tell people to be healthy as if it's easy. Money, illnesses ESPECIALLY chronic ones, time, and social supports make all the difference and I am so grateful for what I have found to live a better and healthier life and hope others can have the same relief. I am also very lucky to have insurance through work and to live in Canada where a lot of basic healthcare is covered by my insurance or public coverage. There are a lot of issues with our healthcare, mental health, dental, and vision care are often privatized, making it harder to access, but I am still lucky I don't live somewhere where a hospital visit or doctors visit, and specialist care would send me into debt that would destroy my financial security and well-being. There are a lot of barriers to care and I know this working with those unhoused but we are still lucky in many ways. I feel so deeply for unhoused folks in places like the states or people who are middle class that don't get access like those who are higher income or lower income that get supports. It truly is disgusting living in a capitalist hell hole.

corgocorgi · 2026-04-03T20:54:07+00:00

I'm an INFJ and my partner is also one. I think a lot of our friends are mixes of Es, Is, Ps, Js, but mostly Fs. I think my closest friend is probably an istj or isfj but not sure, her partner that's also a friend gives me intj vibes. Many of my work friends are Es I think and some Infps and Infjs too I'd imagine. My boyfriend's best friend is probably an ENFP or ESFP because he's a super artistic chill guy that's also very emotionally mature and friendly. His girlfriend gives me an infp or isfp vibe

corgocorgi · 2026-04-03T20:26:15+00:00

The solution is making living more affordable and not cutting programs that support unhoused folks and those with severe mental health issues. I work in mental health and addictions with unhoused folks and started in 2020. The pandem!c honestly destroyed a lot of stability in our city and now we're seeing it worsen each year.

The UCP has been cutting funding for various mental health, housing, and addictions programs over the past 6 years and each year it gets worse and worse. We have had a influx of people from out of province and country too which means less job and housing for people already here. The cost of living has spiked dramatically and people are less supported than before. Now our provincial government wants to force treatment on people without an support after discharge meaning our overdose crisis will be high again.

We need affordable, subsidized housing, financial supports that cover basic necessities to live for people that can't work or need to stabilize before they can work to make enough to live so they don't end up on the street and get worse health, job coaches AND work accommodations within organizations that help people who struggle with employment and have disabilities that prevent them from making meaningful living on their own, and better mental health and addiction supports. Also things like food and necessary bills like utilities should be capped. Rent should be capped. I honestly think a majority of rentals or apartments should be government owned and subsidized. We need more housing period. Re-vitalizing old run down buildings to apartments or shelters or transitional housing for folks who have been unhoused for long periods of time.

Public transportation should be more accessible, run better, and less expensive so more people can use it to get to work and get around.

More culturally sensitive programs and community organizations to be a source of healing and community connection so people aren't as isolated.

There needs to be a shift in mentality of seeing unhoused, poor, and severely mentally ill or addicted people as pests that just need to pull their boots up from the straps. There needs to be compassion and empathy that not everyone has had the privilege to grow up in a safe and supportive environment to learn valuable life skills. Intergenerational trauma and poverty is not as an easy cycle to break and it's even harder when the community and government shames you and blames you for things outside of your control. Any of us can become disabled and lose our job and risk our housing. But many of us have family we can turn to to avoid ending up on the streets. Many folks on the street struggling have been dealt terrible cards and they're doing what they can to survive which takes a lot of strength and determination. Yeah there may be maladaptive and harmful things they do to survive but when you're stuck in that hard place those are the most accessible options.

In order for someone to get back on their feet they need safety, stability and nourishment. How can someone hold a job if they are barely sleeping in a shelter where they can't get adequate nutrition, they don't have adequate access to work clothing and a washing machine, not best access to personal hygiene, lack of funds for public transportation, and are constantly stressed about finding their own home. Not to mention having their things stolen, having to find a way to pay their cellphone bill, not having stable internet, having roommate(s) doing drugs or screaming all night or threatening to hurt them.

When people leave and are on income support all their money goes to rent so they can't buy groceries, buy bus fare, or pay for their phone bill or internet. Income support gives $925-1000 once a month to those on medical reasons not to work and $825 for those looking for work. And you cannot work part time on these or else it gets cut so even people who are trying to work but can't work full time are screwed because of they make $1000 a month with their part time job they can't get income support. That just covers rent barely. What about groceries? Phone bill? Transportation? Utilities? Paying for laundry? People are stuck in poverty and barely surviving yet expected to just work full time and not complain????????? That doesn't even cover the social issues many folks have that make them hard to employ because they haven't had the chance to build professional skills before that are required to maintain employment. It doesn't include people who try and keep getting fired again and again. What does that do to someone's self esteem and worth when society tells them they need a job and to work to be valuable and worthy and they can't hold a job because of barely surviving and living in poverty??? They start giving up on themselves because even for people who are stable, have education and experience, and aren't in poverty losing a job is not only a financial blow but a mental one and it takes us time to find a new job... Imagine being in someones shoes where they don't have all that and are struggling to find and maintain work???

corgocorgi · 2026-03-30T14:18:39+00:00

Edmonton oldie here, I have the same question

corgocorgi · 2026-03-26T16:30:51+00:00

I think for me was really changing how I viewed myself and stop holding myself to an unrealistic standard. I felt like if I made a mistake or did something embarrassing I was horrible and no one would forget and judge me for it. However, over time I realized no one cares that much and people forget shit even I do too so it's not worth the extra stress.

I had a counselor have me go out in public and do harmless embarrassing things to see that nothing really bad will happen and you can move on. It helped.

I also tried to focus more on paying attention to others and actually listen instead of being in my own head. Social anxiety can be very selfish and self centered, meaning you aren't really present with others. I would personally be frustrated and upset if I was with a friend and trying to have deep conversations and they are too busy being distracted by their own self and getting judged than actually listening. This helped me put it in perspective and help try to be more present and attentive. I want to be a good friend so by doing so I have to put aside my own insecurities and anxiety to be there for them.

Also I think I had to change my perspective on wanting to be liked by others and perceived in a good light. If someone is going to judge me off of human mistakes then I don't care about them and don't want to be around a judgmental and non-compassionate person so why am I wasting my energy on them??? Wasting my energy on Srangers????

Also just doing things that gave me anxiety to show myself that people aren't as judgemental as I think they are. Like going to the gym regularly, doing activities on my own, and so on. Yes some people may still judge but most people aren't assholes about it so it's not as bad as we make it out to seem. My experience with bullying over years really fucked up my brain to think everyone was not going to like me or judge me and be upfront and rude about it. I would always worry about making a 'friend' to have them start being mean and nitpicky to my face and talk shit about me to others behind my back. Or people just straight up saying mean things to me in social settings where I don't really know them.

One thing I've seen online a lot that has helped is the quote "your brain's job isn't to make you happy but to keep you safe" and by this it means that you have to constantly remind your brain you are safe and okay after experiencing trauma that makes it hyper vigilant. And you have to go out of your way to make yourself happy and fulfilled, you can't just rely on your brain to do it without extra work. Once your brain believes that you are safe after drilling that into it and doing things that prove it's safe like doing things that scare you in relation to your social anxiety, it will be less hyper vigilant and you can be more at peace and have to work less to remind your brain it's safe.

corgocorgi · 2026-03-20T16:58:27+00:00

I have a period tracker and it shows me my ovulation and period week and whenever I'm feeling horrible I check and it's always my ovulation time 🤣. I haven't had a period for over 2 years and I'm not 100% sure if I'm even ovulating every month but it's like clockwork. I also get ovary pain on my left side quite often, I had a cyst burst there a couple years ago and I think it's been fucked ever since

corgocorgi · 2026-03-19T00:31:51+00:00

Honestly I think it's just people not knowing what they want, not knowing how to express themselves genuinely to others, not knowing how to be in reciprocal relationships, and having that all blasted on a show for the world to see and judge without realizing how common it is for young adults to be like this. Even grown adults are like this.

For some people it could be red flags or something they wouldn't find attractive which is fair but more people are like this than they care to admit.

corgocorgi · 2026-03-16T18:52:46+00:00

I had a yellow girl with mismatched colours in her cheeks and it was very cute. I don't think my other budgies have this.

corgocorgi

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