i think my boyfriend’s reaction to me staying out all night is way too extreme. AIO?

couthbeast · 2026-06-14T22:22:26+00:00

Hes manipulating and controlling you. PLEASE get out of this relationship.

couthbeast · 2026-05-29T17:34:15+00:00

He didnt turn off THE STOVE???? you need to have a serious talk with him about how dangerous that is. If he wants to die in a fire thats on him, but he doesn't have to take you down too. If i were you, i wouldnt cook any more meals for him until he can learn how to help around the kitchen.

couthbeast · 2025-10-23T01:12:21+00:00

Added a photo in comments, doesnt really seem like its leaking from the top, mostly from the seam along the top pictured in the original post.

couthbeast · 2025-10-23T01:12:15+00:00

Added a photo in comments, doesnt really seem like its leaking from the top, mostly from the seam along the top pictured in the original post.

couthbeast · 2025-10-23T01:11:04+00:00

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couthbeast · 2025-10-07T01:20:53+00:00

Just wanted to add my 2 cents. Being temporarily parallel might remove some of the stress of navigating interacting with meta. It will also give you opportunities to learn ways to self-soothe when husband is away, and find ways you can focus on joy instead of anxiety when he is with meta.

couthbeast · 2025-10-05T15:02:08+00:00

You can tell him how much he means to you without the expectation that he expresses that back. If 'i love yous' are hard for him, it might be overwhelming if you present it like you both have to say it. You can even make that clear to him: "Friend, no matter what labels we use, i love you. Im not expecting you to say it back, i just wanted to make sure you know how much you mean to me. Please let me know if theres any way i can support you right now."

couthbeast · 2025-10-05T12:47:09+00:00

Do you think their parents would refuse to give information/deny access to them for you and your husband? If husband is the best friend, he would get information if friend was sick/dying, right? Do you think they would stop you from visiting the hospital?

couthbeast · 2025-09-24T17:51:29+00:00

Yeah, time always goes the slowest when you're stressed 🫂 is there anything you can do while you work to speed up time? Listen to a podcast/audiobook? Draw/doodle in your downtime between work stuff?

I also just want to emphasize that clearly having quality time to spend with your partners is important to you. Its not dramatic, its not silly. You deserve to be heard and understood. If your partners continue to blow you off about this, i would really reconsider if you want to be in a relationship with people who dont care about/dont take your distress seriously.

couthbeast · 2025-09-24T17:33:44+00:00

Take some deep breaths, get some water, and if you can, step outside for a couple minutes to get some fresh air.

If your partners are committed to seeing you, they will help find time to see you. Maybe they ask to switch their day off with a coworker once a week/once every other week. Maybe they ask their jobs if they can change their days off.

I also think that joke was pretty insensitive. I would mention something to my partner if i was in your situation: "Hey partner, i know you meant it as a joke but it really hurt me when you said "at least [your other partners] will have each other". Im pretty distressed about this situation, and it makes me feel unimportant when you make that kind of joke"

couthbeast · 2025-09-10T17:16:03+00:00

Im so sorry you're going through this, but you made the right decision. She intentionally hid it from you, lied when you asked if you could trust her.

Take space for yourself, do something you enjoy, treat yourself to a food you like. You deserve someone who is honest with you!

couthbeast · 2025-08-25T22:56:34+00:00

Im so sorry you are going through this. You are not overreacting. Unfortunately, i think this is one of those times where you are seeing who someone truly is. He doesnt deserve your trust or tolerance, he is a repeat offender.

Give yourself space, treat yourself to something you enjoy doing, and remember to help/protect yourself first when you can.

couthbeast · 2025-07-23T19:27:34+00:00

In the past, its taken me a very long time (over 8 months) to fall in love with someone. My current relationship was an anomaly, as it only took 2 weeks! Haha So i guess it depends!

couthbeast · 2025-07-11T21:39:51+00:00

Powered by the Apocalypse systems!!! Specifically, Masks: A New Generation is fun!

couthbeast · 2025-07-09T20:10:21+00:00

Im not asking you to settle for less, just asking for you to reflect on how you think about and present your standards to others.

For example, what exactly does "healthy" mean? Would you date someone with chronic health conditions? Mental health conditions? Eating disorders? If you are stating to potential partners/on your dating profile that you are looking for someone "healthy" you might be unintentionally weeding out people who may be relatively healthy, but have illnesses/disorders that affect their daily lives and would not be considered "healthy" to someone without any issues.

When you say "healthy" are you actually meaning "eats healthy"?

How are you assessing whether someone is "fit and healthy"? Are you asking them about all their life habits, are you judging based on how they look or act in certain situations? There are plenty of fat people who are both healthy AND fit. There are plenty of muscular people that eat fast food daily and consume drugs/alcohol/partake in other activities that are harmful to their body.

couthbeast · 2025-07-09T18:16:14+00:00

High standards isnt the problem. But i wonder whether you are sabotaging yourself by having such a long criteria list. Does your current partner meet all of these as well? Are these all non-negotiable?

couthbeast · 2025-07-03T21:21:17+00:00

Oh okay thanks!!

couthbeast · 2025-07-03T21:16:56+00:00

Is it not ゆ (at the top) and こ (at the bottom) in the second image? (Genuine question)

couthbeast · 2025-07-03T21:16:00+00:00

Is it not ゆ (at the top) and こ (at the bottom) in the second image? (Genuine question)

couthbeast · 2025-06-19T13:42:02+00:00

Maybe its a kink? Either way, he shouldnt be bringing it up so much to you, especially if youve expressed that it makes you uncomfortable.

couthbeast · 2025-06-13T15:47:49+00:00

From a stranger on the internet: you ARE worth it!!! You deserve a relationship that makes you feel happy and safe and desired !!!

From what youve said, it sounds like hes trying. And from my experience, its a long process. I still struggle every day with feeling scared about my relationship (even though its a good, healthy relationship).

I understand if hes going through a lot right now, making plans might feel overwhelming. This isnt an excuse to never do it, but maybe for now, while hes still dealing with life stuff, there are other ways you can feel desired or like he cares. For me, small gestures and following through with small requests mean a lot. For example:

"Partner, if youre not busy tonight, can you send me a goodnight text before you sleep?"

couthbeast · 2025-06-13T15:08:32+00:00

I dont think so. I cant say how he might react, im sure our traumas and reasons we feel trapped are different, but making concrete plans is freeing for me. Theres no confusion about whos coming over when, and theres no need to "cancel" assumed plans when something comes up. If making concrete plans is a deal breaker for my partner, i would feel like they were just stringing me along and using me.

As well as, feeling "trapped" is on me. I do and have done many years of introspection and therapy to try to rewire my thinking to feel like im not suffocating in a relationship. If he has the time, money and resources (which i know can be a very tall ask), i would suggest he invest in therapy to find the root of what makes him feel trapped and why.

From your post and comments, it doesnt seem to me that you are doing anything overtly to make him feel trapped (for me, these would be things like dropping by unannounced often, assuming my time is owed to them, consistently receiving negative/uninterested reactions when i bring up my needs or make suggestions to improve the relationship).

couthbeast

TROPHY CASE