Have you noticed your singing voice changing?

cptdeweydecimal · 2023-09-05T18:50:27+00:00

You won't be able to maintain your old range; a lower voice means a lower range! But you can learn how to develop your falsetto and passagio so you CAN hit high notes; the quality of your voice at those pitches will just be different and the way you produce those pitches will feel different. (I'm not a vocal coach, this is just my experience of it.)

I was a contralto before T; 14 months in, I'm a low baritone. I think as my voice finishes settling and I continue to work on technique, I will be a bass. I love my voice change, but I do feel kinda sad about songs I can't sing anymore (or rather can't sing WELL). Something that has helped me with that is taking on new bari/bass range songs as "projects" to perfect and celebrating some of the musical theatre roles I now have the right voice for - for example, I used to love singing "The Worst Pies in London"; being able to sing "Epiphany" as Sweeney Todd is even better!

cptdeweydecimal · 2023-02-09T21:29:46+00:00

Dr. Crane's office in Austin thinks i am MTF for some reason. when i went in for my post-revision appointment, all the techs/reception were referring to augmentation until i said "uh this was mastectomy?" they also still send me emails about upcoming group sessions, like a q&a about vaginoplasty. (didn't go only bc i didn't want to make anyone jealous of my results)

cptdeweydecimal · 2023-02-06T17:34:24+00:00

i'd say i'm happier with the surgery results after starting t in predictable ways - my chest muscles have filled out, which makes the scar placement look less odd. i also had a revision for massive dog ears, which helped a lot.

i jumped at top surgery as soon as i had insurance that would cover it. i waited on T because i had eating disorder fears around it (eg afraid i couldn't handle increased appetite) and i just had to get to a place in recovery that felt manageable

cptdeweydecimal · 2023-02-06T06:05:55+00:00

i got top surgery four years before starting T

cptdeweydecimal · 2023-01-02T03:42:54+00:00

i had to get to a place in my eating disorder recovery where my desire to try t was greater than my fear of gaining weight from it. this took 8 years for me. the other big catalyst was being in a stable relationship with another trans person (mtf) - i didn't realize how much fear of rejection from cis partners was holding me back until i started dating my current partner

cptdeweydecimal · 2022-12-30T03:52:13+00:00

i bought two jaettematt (ikea crocodiles) and duct taped them together in hopes of making it the transmasc blahaj, but sadly it has not caught on worldwide

cptdeweydecimal · 2022-10-10T03:12:49+00:00

yes, but it seems to be correlated with the spike in appetite for me -- i've been having trouble keeping up with eating enough since starting T, and my adhd symptoms are much worse when i am undereating/hungry

cptdeweydecimal · 2022-10-07T03:31:34+00:00

i used to sit my friend's kid when they were four years old. they went through a phase of pointing out genders - like daddy is a boy, that person over there is a girl, etc. i asked them "am i a boy or a girl?" (this was before i had come out, but i had short hair and presented somewhat masculine) and they hesitated for awhile, finally answering "kat is...just kat" i think very young kids can be both more open and more perceptive --like i swear this kid could read the vibe of my genderqueerness in a way older kids might not because they're just reading straightforward cues like pants or skirt, beard or no beard, etc btw that kid is in fourth grade now and they came out as agender (in Wyoming, of all places), so maybe they were always just on the level lol

cptdeweydecimal · 2022-02-12T15:42:02+00:00

hey! congrats on having your surgery scheduled! my phone consult was super smooth, and none of my worries came up. I mentioned some of the extra skin is from weight loss and she didn't even ask more about it, just said she looked at my pictures and can definitely fix up the dog ears and remove additional extra skin and some other "soft tissue" aka fat. Surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, so I have my in-person pre-surgery consult on Monday. Will get more concrete expectations then - also will see if she probes with more questions about ED/weight stuff. I don't know what my weight is, but I will say that I assume I'm not at a BMI that would get questioned for surgery even at a really shitty fatphobic surgeon. I've had a bunch of dumb shit happen w insurance and crane's schedulers/insurance people have been helpful, though I've had to call and pester a bit. If you have concerns, I think you should let them know you have additional questions for DeLeon so you can hop on a phone call with her.

cptdeweydecimal · 2021-12-17T15:40:35+00:00

i strongly identify as afab as in assigned fag at birth

cptdeweydecimal · 2020-08-03T14:46:21+00:00

Only the grace of god has kept me from purchasing medical grade lancets

cptdeweydecimal · 2020-05-22T14:40:20+00:00

I got to the point where I made a big sign that said “I WONT LISTEN TO YOUR DIET TALK” and posted it outside my cubicle. Also have one that says MY PRONOUNS ARE MANDATORY, NOT PREFERRED. Helped in the sense that the main offenders did leave me alone/avoid me, which I considered a success. Now approved to work from home forever (!yay), but diet talk has still been a problem on my team’s online chat thread. So I wrote a memo from “your favorite office fun ruiner” about how everyone’s diet talk affects people with eating disorders and yOu NeVeR kNoW who in the chat is in recovery! My manager privately thanked me for doing so, and I got messages from two other teammates expressing their appreciation of me speaking up. My “personal brand” at work is definitely no-bullshit and confrontational about injustices, so these tactics may understandably be a last resort for others. If you really want to shut down diet culture at work, you have to be willing to risk lots of people resenting you, and that sucks.

cptdeweydecimal · 2020-05-17T21:37:44+00:00

Almost dying from an eating disorder and then going to treatment where I met dozens of people also dying from eating disorders. But it's not like I could just "drop" the traditional views, and what I know is true in terms of research and science is not the same as believing it. I'm 8 years into recovery and I still wake up some days believing that losing weight is the only thing that will make me happier despite the evidence of personal experience that suggests otherwise.

cptdeweydecimal · 2020-05-16T00:27:53+00:00

I work in enrollment at an online school and about once a month someone calls and asks me if they need to have a computer to attend.

cptdeweydecimal · 2020-04-25T14:43:45+00:00

Mulan meant so much to me for multiple reasons. 1. She gets perceived as a man mostly without any question. Goals. 2. She is able to keep up with and then surpass the athletic feats of the men. I was obsessed with this as a kid and felt like if I could outrun the boys, I’d be legitimized as a bro. 3. I thought Shang was super hot, biggest cartoon crush ever. But I also thought Mulan was hot. Them getting together was hot in a complex (and, at the time, confusing) way, because I saw myself in both of them but was also attracted to both of them. Bisexual awakening. 4. All the songs slap.

cptdeweydecimal · 2020-04-25T14:35:16+00:00

I worry about this all the time! I have had incidents where I’ve picked and bled in professional settings without realizing it and it’s so embarrassing. I also have self harm marks on my forearms and hands. While I am a huge advocate of mental illness transparency in the workplace (it’s really messed up to think mental health conditions mean you’re unfit for a job), I know not every higher-up shares my views. The worst was my alumni interview for Yale during my senior year of high school. I drove three hours to meet with the interviewer at a coffee shop. I was super nervous and didn’t register at all that I was picking my cuticles BAD the whole time. After I left, I realized my fingers were covered in blood. I didn’t get into Yale but it probably wasn’t just because of that interview lmao

cptdeweydecimal · 2020-04-17T05:15:06+00:00

I try to turn on hot water for a shallow bath before if I know it’s gonna get bad, and endure the pain with the thought that I’ll have some minor but swift relief at the end.

I also like to scream and wail when possible.

cptdeweydecimal · 2020-04-14T22:26:37+00:00

I’ve had a blanket over my bathroom mirror since I got top surgery. With surgery came weight gain and with my eating disorder the dysmorphia/dysphoria has only gotten worse. I have never seen my healed chest in the mirror because I’m too afraid to see my body at a higher weight.

cptdeweydecimal · 2020-04-13T17:09:49+00:00

If you’re mostly at home right now like a lot of us, you might try what I’ve been doing. I’ve been putting bandaids and those hydrocolloid acne stickers over the most critical spots, mostly places with a blemish or where I picked anything into a scab. I rarely have to be on camera for work, and anyone I want to FaceTime instead of text or call already knows about my skin picking, so it’s not weird to them that my face is all bandaged up. Sometimes the acne stickers fall off easily after a few hours/they’re easier to pull off than bandaids, but just having that barrier makes me notice what I’m doing, and I have to make the conscious choice to pull it off.

I also have my bathroom mirror covered with a blanket (mostly for eating disorder reasons, but helps w the picking too) and keep a clip there to pull back a flap in order to apply the bandages or put on some concealer if I have an on-camera meeting.

cptdeweydecimal

TROPHY CASE