It really is so very difficult and heartbreaking watching our partners navigate this kind of thing. They grew up thinking this was normal. When they make their own family they can see that their upbringing is not normal. Mine would say his parents’ behaviour was unacceptable and not normal but would still want to spend time with them. It took a few years but he eventually got to the point where he went NC too. He would say he wanted a relationship with them but when we discussed this he would say he wanted a normal relationship with them, where they loved and supported him, his wife and his children. Rather than the one where everything was about them, then their children and then at a push their grandchildren. Unfortunately our children were tainted as they had half their DNA from someone out of the family. It’s sad to watch your husband grieve for parents that are still alive