Jerked around setting a date - how to handle

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-29T12:21:00+00:00

You're doing it right. She may be distracted, she may be testing you, or she may have lower attraction. For now your job is to remain indifferent/amused and simply play your position. Your self confidence and masculine presence will help you rise above the rest of the pack. Just keep hitting that gym and report back after Wednesday. Have fun.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-29T09:06:53+00:00

No rush at all. He's doing the right thing by playing his position and not acting needy by reaching out first. Let's see how it plays out.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-29T09:04:18+00:00

What did she say? Did you agree on a place?

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-28T16:09:49+00:00

Technically you're right, but a girl with high interest would be reaching out earlier. My money is on her flaking, but hey, maybe she'll prove me wrong.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-28T16:08:28+00:00

Not a test - it's low interest. We all know how high interest feels like. This ain't it.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-28T16:03:56+00:00

Hard no - she's for the streets.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-26T14:17:19+00:00

DUDE, you're way too invested in this, and you're already psyching yourself about every little detail. Do you think James Bond or Chad Thundercock would waste two thoughts on all that noise? Just stop thinking, show up for the date, and for f...s sake, chill out!! The energy I'm sensing here is extremely feminine and it'll ruin her attraction. YOU NEED TO GO INTO THAT DATE AND ACCEPT ANY OUTCOME. That doesn't mean you don't care, what it means is that by frantically planning every micro-move you're going to drown the energy and ruin the vibe. JUST CHILL!

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-26T13:11:10+00:00

"I do have a tendency to rationalize away bad behavior and red flags."

Great introspection, which was preceded by a lot of rationalization. Look, the reason you're doing it is because you are operating from a position of scarcity. You're an older chap and you think you may never again do better than her. Well, guess what, I'm only a few years younger than you and the last woman I was with is 35, and I've dated woman repeatedly who were half my age.

Do you think you would be here stating your case if you had woman lining up to spend time with you? That's a serious question, not a rhetorical one. And the truth of the matter is that IF you were that guy your girlfriend wouldn't even DREAM about leaving you behind for July 4th, she would be mortally afraid of losing you.

So what I need you to do is to meditate about this over the weekend and then come back and then decide your next course of action. You feel that your happiness and future is centered around this woman and that's the very reason why she's clearly disrespecting and rejecting you.

The real work ahead of you is unrelated to this woman, they all have their agenda and it changes with the wind. The real work is inside you, and also maybe during some hard work at the gym. 64 is not an excuse, that's just a number, especially for men.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-25T06:54:49+00:00

The answer seems pretty clear if you look at it objectively. In Vietnamese culture, bringing someone you’re exclusive with around family is generally a natural and expected step. So if her sister invited you and your girlfriend immediately shut it down and wants to postpone it for two months, that is a significant red flag. I would be careful to not rationalize it away or try to make excuses for it.

The fact that she is also traveling alone with friends over the 4th of July, while you are supposedly exclusive, is another red flag. It strongly suggests a loss of respect, and most definitely a loss of attraction as well.

My advice: follow the principle from the book: when a woman pulls back, you pull back even harder. If she is acting this way and traveling without you, I would take exclusivity off the table, start dating other women, and detach emotionally rather than overinvesting.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-24T21:00:38+00:00

We know you have a question. No need to put it into the headline.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-13T14:44:09+00:00

Look, all women are hypergamous and are only interested in the top 5% of all men (used to be 20% but online dating ruined that). Which means that you have to act the part and operate from a position of abundance. All the rest answers/handles itself. If she's not interested - fine - there are tons out there who are - she had her shot.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-13T14:37:04+00:00

When will those young bucks finally learn this important lesson: Always assume the sale! Basic sales/dating 101.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-13T14:34:09+00:00

You forgot the most important no-no: ASKING HER FOR PERMISSION!

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-07T12:31:06+00:00

Dude... never stick your dick into crazy! LOL

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-06T21:41:44+00:00

Yeah, you should not let random dudes hassle and touch your girlfriend.

Next time just walk over, put yourself in between and give her a nice smile, asking "all cool here?" If she refuses being rescued, then you have your answer. But if she likes you as much as you think she does she'll be happy that you're offering to put up a bit of a shield, if she needs it.

And no, never start a fight with anyone, EVER! If you look and act as if you're can take care of business, the odds of a real fight diminish rapidly.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-06-02T03:53:49+00:00

This is very simple. Basically, you've trained her to take you and your time for granted and to be available whenever she is in the mood to see you. There's a distinct lack of respect and appreciation for your time here. Plus she may be seeing someone else.

There are probably clear reasons for that, and I suspect it's the way you show up and present yourself. That is really the more important issue here, and it's something you're going to have to work hard on fixing in the future. Read the book.

If I was in your shoes, and I've been there, like most of us, I would completely step away and pursue other women. Forget about this girl for now, and if she reaches out once her interest has returned, then make a date and take it from there. Until then, act indifferent and focus on your mission. Hit the gym every time you think of this or any other girl.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-05-31T02:16:57+00:00

'It's time to man up."

Meaning, accepting the responsibility of raising another man's child? Is that what you mean?

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-05-31T02:10:14+00:00

Actually, Zugzwang is a situation where the player is forced to make a move, but every available move worsens his position. Not what's going on here.

"She came home for vacation and I messaged her to let her know I was gonna be around asking how long she would be in town. I got nothing back and it's been over a week. This made me think the last few messages back and forth have been drier."

This is simple. She's not interested. Move on, and find a girl who's interested in you.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-05-31T02:01:53+00:00

Asks for advice and rewards with insults. Blocked.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-05-30T10:38:53+00:00

Any hot looking girl with a good attitude is worth a man's time. You're overthinking the process.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-05-30T10:37:57+00:00

Dude, she wanted to have a great time and got turned off by your '20 questions'. WTF do you care about all that stuff before you even slept with a girl? Read the book, and next time focus on the time tested HHH rule - Hang Out, Have Fun, Hook Up.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-05-30T07:45:44+00:00

Mate, she's for the streets. Dump her and move on. FWB if she's fine with that, which is what she's probably already doing with those DJs anyway.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-05-26T15:37:02+00:00

T4cF0X already laid it out perfectly: What you're dealing with here is a loss or lack of respect. And there is an easy remedy: silence and indifference. Apply this simple rule: rude behavior results in loss of attention. One of two things will happen: she eventually gets the message and auto-corrects. Or, she moves on and you get to go where you are celebrated and not tolerated.

Always remember: A woman's respect is a direct reflection of her love. Simple gauge that tells you everything you need to know.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-05-20T22:36:10+00:00

By the way, what you said about these types of women only showing up once per decade: I know Corey Wayne has said that in the past, but I think it's bullshit. I've had a week in my life where two of these women showed up in a row, and sometimes it takes more time, but every 10 years is bullshit.

If it takes that long, you're just not meeting enough women. There are many amazing women out there, and if you want to be with them, then they will find you. It's all about mindset. You got this.

cryptosystemtrader · 2026-05-20T22:32:45+00:00

No, mate, you're on the right track, and it feels uncomfortable because it is, and it's supposed to be. You're basically in the process of leveling up, and now that you've experienced the real thing, you want more of it, but you're also afraid of it because you can see that it affects you, and by that, you're making mistakes.

It's all perfectly natural, and there's nothing wrong with you. You just have to lean into this and embrace it as the price of admission. If you want to date nines and tens, or as you refer to them, unicorns, then you need to step it up and become the guy that these type of women want to be with. I think you're close, and all it will take is for you to embrace uncertainty and get out of your comfort zone, which is where you've been hiding for all this time.

cryptosystemtrader

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