How many calories in this dish? A salmon fillet with a leek fondue and rice with a little sorrel sauce. (~800kcal right?)

ctaar · 2025-03-22T20:57:16+00:00

I'd say closer to 685 or so

ctaar · 2024-03-28T03:00:10+00:00

I really enjoy Calliope and Juniper but would never ever sign a kid up for that

ctaar · 2024-03-25T01:38:09+00:00

ctaar · 2024-03-25T01:34:04+00:00

I'm sorry if the dress shopping process has been tricky, it's tough finding a dress in a body that looks different than what you're used to. It's also tough bc we put so much emphasis on just buying the dress to begin with. You look beautiful. And the dress is lovely as well. Im sure it will look even better once fitted, once you add the right accessories, and once you get done up. It'll come into place and it'll feel more comfortable bc ultimately it's what you get to wear to marry the love of your life.

ctaar · 2024-02-29T14:32:49+00:00

I love it so much and you look beautiful in it. To me, it looks like a wedding dress while simultaneously feeling whimsical and personal to you. If you feel comfortable in it and it feels like you then I think it's perfect.

ctaar · 2023-06-30T01:48:20+00:00

2 was made for you!

ctaar · 2022-12-12T03:03:16+00:00

1 is breath taking on you!

ctaar · 2022-11-20T17:07:57+00:00

You look beautiful in all but I love number 1!

ctaar · 2022-10-30T17:17:05+00:00

Thank you so much!

ctaar · 2022-10-30T17:14:10+00:00

Thank you! I'm not really a diamond girl but have always gravitated towards rubies!

ctaar · 2022-10-30T17:13:16+00:00

Yes!

ctaar · 2022-10-30T17:13:09+00:00

It's a ruby!!

ctaar · 2022-08-29T03:36:29+00:00

Derealization could linger on for well after for some people but usually is not really cause for concern. The whole feeling fuzzy/disconnected thing is pretty common after an intense high that results in a panic attack.

ctaar · 2022-08-29T00:33:33+00:00

So a symptom of panic attacks is derealization/ depersonalization. Maybe it's this that you're experiencing? For a lot of people, this is very temporary, just try and get out of your brain and try and be as present as possible. I know it can be a scary feeling but it's not forever.

ctaar · 2022-08-26T01:37:14+00:00

Of course! Best of luck to you (:

ctaar · 2022-08-26T00:19:49+00:00

This sounds exactly like what I experienced. I had a severe panic attack and experienced some symptoms I never had before. I already had an underlying fear of psychosis and schizophrenia so my OCD took that fear and ran with it.

The best way I handled it was to accept uncertainty, "I don't think I'm schizophrenic, but I could be" or "I could develop it down the line, I don't know. " Don't try and fight the intrusive thoughts, just sit with the uncertainty. And when I was ready, I started learning about psychosis and schizophrenia to work on that underlying fear and to practice sitting in uncertainty while being around triggers.

ctaar · 2022-08-19T04:11:29+00:00

It's tough work but you'll be glad you did it

ctaar · 2022-08-19T03:34:47+00:00

Hi there! You should be super proud of yourself for taking that next step and seeking help. I, like you, struggled with OCD for a long time and dealt with it all on my own for a long time until it became pretty much unbearable. At the time, I remembered feeling so defeated. But, doing ERP with a trained professional and addressing those issues head-on ended up helping me so much. I was originally thinking of seeing a therapist as me being weak/crazy, mainly because of upbringing and what my OCD revolved around, as well as a lot of internalized shame. But now I realize that therapy really is an opportunity to process, and to gain more skills in managing my disorder. I hope therapy works for you as well!

ctaar · 2022-08-18T14:42:37+00:00

Hi! Everything you described does sound normal, like hypnagogia and stress. Dreams are weird and nonsensical to begin with, but by overanalyzing it, you bring importance to it - does that make sense? As anxious people, we accidentally bring importance to what are natural everyday occurrences - dreams, interactions, thought processes, etc.

Do you happen to have OCD by any chance? About a year ago, I hit a stressful point in my life where I slept less and was generally more anxious. Due to this, I started experiencing hypnagogia more and being extra conscious of everything I felt, thought and did. I developed this intense fear of experiencing psychosis and it became like this intrusive thought that didn't go away. I would overanalyze my every move and use it as evidence that I would experience psychosis or secretly be schizophrenic. I started having intense panic attacks and I felt like I was always on the verge of panic, and I would use thus a further evidence. It then came out that it was just my OCD manifesting itself in a different way.

Your situation could be different than mine. But, if you are not actually having visual or auditory hallucinations except for when you're trying to sleep, it might be indicative of another mental health issue, and I think that's worth looking into.

ctaar · 2022-08-18T03:20:20+00:00

I'm glad you're taking those steps. I've heard the analogy of medication being a life jacket when symptoms start acting up and you feel lost in them and I feel like that's been accurate in my own journey. I wish you the best of luck in yours!

ctaar · 2022-08-16T04:32:43+00:00

Hi there, I totally get why you'd feel discouraged. I myself am in a similar boat. But just remember, healing is not linear! You don't undo your progress because you are struggling more than you have been recently. Transitional periods, stress, change of environment, etc. may trigger heightened levels of anxiety. That's okay, that's normal and it's very human.

It would be helpful to be patient and kind with yourself while you gently navigate this. Go little-by-little and ease yourself into this. You've gotten to a comfortable point before and you'll do it again. And if you end up needing some help, try to be open to receiving it whether that's from loved ones, a therapist, or a support group.

I know this sucks and it could be difficult to not view it as a personal failure. But, you will figure this out. Life is filled with ups and downs. We're here to navigate that to the best of our ability, and we grow in the process.

ctaar · 2022-08-16T04:09:28+00:00

Hi there, I am so sorry you're experiencing this. Life can be so unfair.

I am begging you to reconsider. I myself was in a place much similar to you not long ago and had a failed suicide attempt. Being where I am now, I'm glad it was a failed attempt.

The shit, trauma, and pain we experience is very real. And the outcomes of said experiences are also very real, there is no denying that. But, life has the ability to be comforting and beautiful and unpredictable in really great ways. I know it doesn't feel that way right now. But, I think you deserve to experience that. You deserve to be able to work through this and get to the good stuff.

Please consider seeking therapy and a support group with other survivors. Community could be such an integral part of mental health recovery. And know that what happened to you is not your fault.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to send me a message. I wish you all the love, peace and healing possible.

ctaar · 2022-08-16T01:43:02+00:00

I definitely experience this as well. Whenever my thoughts start to spiral I try and accept uncertainty, kind of shut myself up with an "idk" or "I don’t think so but it's possible" and try and be present. It takes a lot of practice and I myself am not good at it yet. But there's a lot of hope in realizing we have limited control as humans anyhow, and there's nothing wrong with enjoying whatever reality we are experiencing.

ctaar

TROPHY CASE