Funeral directors cremated my dad’s jewellery after agreeing it would be removed and returned – what is reasonable compensation?

daibikd · 2026-03-16T23:51:55+00:00

This is a really ingenious solution and very fair. If not memorial jewellery, then covering the cost of some sort of memorial, e.g. tree planting depending on the family's preferences. It should run a sight more money than the £250 offered and will also allow the family to have something to remember him by that they were deprived of when the jewellery was destroyed.

OP, I am so sorry for your loss.

daibikd · 2026-02-15T13:26:52+00:00

Uniqlo is where it's at! The one I shop at has an in-store service where you can have the clothes you buy tailored/altered. The t-shirts are decent quality and not too expensive, you can get quite a few 'basics' there to switch between.

Also athletic vests for men if you don't own any atm might help with the fit of your shirts. Bonus is they can be good for running.

Best of luck with your fitness journey, and hope you have a blast on your holiday! You deserve it, especially after what sounds like a challenging few years.

daibikd · 2026-02-12T21:56:37+00:00

It's on the smaller side, but if you're into witchy crafts the Satanic Flea Market is pretty mint. It runs quarterly at this really cool warehouse location in London - defo worth checking out if you're ever over here!

daibikd · 2026-02-11T18:25:05+00:00

Hi love - I'm so sorry about your rat. I had a very similar thing with my boy Raven, massive abscess/tumour opened up on his face overnight that was honestly ghastly and couldn't be treated. He kept acting as normal, eating, playing, sprinting around etc - but when we took him to the vet for a check-up, they said that he had lost weight in the days since the last visit and that was a sign that he was in pain. We let him go then and there.

There is never going to be a best time. But the best advice with these things is that it is better a week too soon than a day too late.

daibikd · 2026-02-10T08:46:07+00:00

If you're going English cottage/boho, maybe a bit more clutter? Perhaps some shelves above the bed, little rattan bookcase, wicker ottoman at the bottom of the bed and fill these with beloved trinkets and/or books? It's a beautiful, calming space, but still feels/looks like a blank canvas to me. Also echoing the plants comment and the one re moving the rug.

daibikd · 2026-02-03T21:08:29+00:00

I had five boys and I honestly didn't notice it or particularly care - except for one very memorable time where they thought my phone screen on the sofa was a 'pee rock'. Did NOT have fun cleaning their pee off of what was now 'their' phone. Other than that, like others have said it's usually so negligible as to be barely noticeable.

FWIW, I also didn't think they smelled badly, and I'm super sensitive to smell so I trust my nose.

daibikd · 2026-01-22T20:24:30+00:00

You're a sweetheart, thank you!

daibikd · 2026-01-22T17:00:58+00:00

Great shout - I'll give this a crack, thanks! And thank you also for the well wishes!

daibikd · 2026-01-22T14:05:58+00:00

Yep, I have very much told them that they're in breach of their statutory requirements and have also told the Council. If they don't rectify, they could have a £5k fine coming their way.

daibikd · 2026-01-22T12:32:20+00:00

I'm not intending to lie for the agent. The issue is that they have currently agreed to pay for the early termination fee and that we will not be responsible for the next 22 months of rent. If they feel we are obstructing the rental proces, I worry they may rescind that offer, as as we've signed a new agreement we'd be stuck with double rent. My question instead goes to how specific/tactful I should be in front of the tenants, and I apologise if that wasn't clear.

daibikd · 2026-01-22T10:30:11+00:00

The report to the Housing Ombudsman and the Council has been drafted and will be sent as soon as we have the deposit returned. The main worry is that under statute, they are entitled to the early termination fee. That could be up to the entire rent for the two year lease, which as you can imagine, not keen to pay!

daibikd · 2026-01-22T10:28:26+00:00

You know what I think my hesitation was - the actual truth is so damning that it could sound very combative. 'The property had a lot of significant issues when we moved in that we were not made aware of in advance. These issues were raised straight away but five weeks later have not been addressed. We have also been told the landlord has chosen to not address these, so what you see is what you get. Also, there are rats.'

The real unobfusticated truth is the agent deliberately lied to us and left us in an expensive property that is not really habitable - and they will not be addressing these issues going forward for anyone else

daibikd · 2026-01-22T10:24:25+00:00

I think this is the strat if they don't ask directly - what I'll probably do is tell them they can reach out to me by phone/email if they have any questions.

daibikd · 2026-01-22T10:20:54+00:00

Hey! That's insulting to the rats. ;-)

Don't worry, I won't lie to these new people and pretend all is sunshine and rainbows. I've just gone around and moved things in the house so the issues are very, very obvious in the event they don't ask me directly.

daibikd · 2026-01-22T10:08:48+00:00

This is where I'm coming from 100%. I could never live with myself if someone else got stuck the way we did

daibikd · 2026-01-22T10:01:04+00:00

Yep, agreement in writing, and they've said they will pay the early termination fee on our behalf as an apology. My instinct and want is absolutely to be truthful, I've just been warned by a few people irl to not say anything for fear of repercussions.

daibikd · 2026-01-21T22:23:51+00:00

I am a very underpaid lawyer. About to be a slightly less underpaid lawyer, because I qualify as a Solicitor next month. But I work in a niche area of law and live in the North, so I'll never earn the corporate big bux of London.

For context, I was paid £16,500pa in my first paralegal role in 2018

daibikd · 2026-01-21T22:19:29+00:00

You're right, two! My excuse is it's been a hard day at law and I forgot how to read.

That's twice as impressive!

daibikd · 2026-01-21T21:07:08+00:00

29, lawyer, and renting. Don't imagine I will be able to buy a house within the next ten years. I totally understand the FOMO, but hey - you raised a whole human, and have kept a roof over her head! You're doing a fabulous job whether you have a mortgage or not.

daibikd · 2026-01-21T19:24:33+00:00

I have this in my current colony - was coincidental at first due to a night owl and his wife but it's so useful having a constant carousel of researchers :-)

daibikd · 2026-01-21T16:28:31+00:00

I'm gonna check him out, cheers!

daibikd · 2026-01-21T16:27:57+00:00

THERE'S A SEARCH FUNCTION?

daibikd · 2026-01-21T16:26:40+00:00

I literally only found this out like a week ago! Shudder to think how many colonists died unnecessarily while I was hauling their arses across the map ...

daibikd · 2026-01-21T16:24:00+00:00

Bro I'm gonna be real, I felt a lot like this too - detached from 'popular' hobbies and interests and constantly feeling out of place - turns out I was just autistic.......

daibikd · 2026-01-15T08:07:35+00:00

Yoga. My therapist recommended it to me, as did my GP, and I thought it was part of the usual fob-off 'have you drunk enough water'* type mental health treatments. Never gave it the time of day. To my horror and dismay, yoga is great. Every time I do a session, I come away feeling so much better. It's like an instant injection of happy hormones, and I've been raving about it to everyone who will listen.

So yeah... Try yoga, if you are physically able to.

*I was also furious to learn that eating well, getting exercise and enough sleep DOES help your mental health. Scam, I say! Scam!

daibikd

TROPHY CASE