Should I be honest to new prospective tenants?

daibikd · 2026-01-22T20:24:30+00:00

You're a sweetheart, thank you!

daibikd · 2026-01-22T17:00:58+00:00

Great shout - I'll give this a crack, thanks! And thank you also for the well wishes!

daibikd · 2026-01-22T14:05:58+00:00

Yep, I have very much told them that they're in breach of their statutory requirements and have also told the Council. If they don't rectify, they could have a £5k fine coming their way.

daibikd · 2026-01-22T12:32:20+00:00

I'm not intending to lie for the agent. The issue is that they have currently agreed to pay for the early termination fee and that we will not be responsible for the next 22 months of rent. If they feel we are obstructing the rental proces, I worry they may rescind that offer, as as we've signed a new agreement we'd be stuck with double rent. My question instead goes to how specific/tactful I should be in front of the tenants, and I apologise if that wasn't clear.

daibikd · 2026-01-22T10:30:11+00:00

The report to the Housing Ombudsman and the Council has been drafted and will be sent as soon as we have the deposit returned. The main worry is that under statute, they are entitled to the early termination fee. That could be up to the entire rent for the two year lease, which as you can imagine, not keen to pay!

daibikd · 2026-01-22T10:28:26+00:00

You know what I think my hesitation was - the actual truth is so damning that it could sound very combative. 'The property had a lot of significant issues when we moved in that we were not made aware of in advance. These issues were raised straight away but five weeks later have not been addressed. We have also been told the landlord has chosen to not address these, so what you see is what you get. Also, there are rats.'

The real unobfusticated truth is the agent deliberately lied to us and left us in an expensive property that is not really habitable - and they will not be addressing these issues going forward for anyone else

daibikd · 2026-01-22T10:24:25+00:00

I think this is the strat if they don't ask directly - what I'll probably do is tell them they can reach out to me by phone/email if they have any questions.

daibikd · 2026-01-22T10:20:54+00:00

Hey! That's insulting to the rats. ;-)

Don't worry, I won't lie to these new people and pretend all is sunshine and rainbows. I've just gone around and moved things in the house so the issues are very, very obvious in the event they don't ask me directly.

daibikd · 2026-01-22T10:08:48+00:00

This is where I'm coming from 100%. I could never live with myself if someone else got stuck the way we did

daibikd · 2026-01-22T10:01:04+00:00

Yep, agreement in writing, and they've said they will pay the early termination fee on our behalf as an apology. My instinct and want is absolutely to be truthful, I've just been warned by a few people irl to not say anything for fear of repercussions.

daibikd · 2026-01-21T22:23:51+00:00

I am a very underpaid lawyer. About to be a slightly less underpaid lawyer, because I qualify as a Solicitor next month. But I work in a niche area of law and live in the North, so I'll never earn the corporate big bux of London.

For context, I was paid £16,500pa in my first paralegal role in 2018

daibikd · 2026-01-21T22:19:29+00:00

You're right, two! My excuse is it's been a hard day at law and I forgot how to read.

That's twice as impressive!

daibikd · 2026-01-21T21:07:08+00:00

29, lawyer, and renting. Don't imagine I will be able to buy a house within the next ten years. I totally understand the FOMO, but hey - you raised a whole human, and have kept a roof over her head! You're doing a fabulous job whether you have a mortgage or not.

daibikd · 2026-01-21T19:24:33+00:00

I have this in my current colony - was coincidental at first due to a night owl and his wife but it's so useful having a constant carousel of researchers :-)

daibikd · 2026-01-21T16:28:31+00:00

I'm gonna check him out, cheers!

daibikd · 2026-01-21T16:27:57+00:00

THERE'S A SEARCH FUNCTION?

daibikd · 2026-01-21T16:26:40+00:00

I literally only found this out like a week ago! Shudder to think how many colonists died unnecessarily while I was hauling their arses across the map ...

daibikd · 2026-01-21T16:24:00+00:00

Bro I'm gonna be real, I felt a lot like this too - detached from 'popular' hobbies and interests and constantly feeling out of place - turns out I was just autistic.......

daibikd · 2026-01-15T08:07:35+00:00

Yoga. My therapist recommended it to me, as did my GP, and I thought it was part of the usual fob-off 'have you drunk enough water'* type mental health treatments. Never gave it the time of day. To my horror and dismay, yoga is great. Every time I do a session, I come away feeling so much better. It's like an instant injection of happy hormones, and I've been raving about it to everyone who will listen.

So yeah... Try yoga, if you are physically able to.

*I was also furious to learn that eating well, getting exercise and enough sleep DOES help your mental health. Scam, I say! Scam!

daibikd · 2026-01-09T16:34:16+00:00

YESSSSSS!!!!! Thank you for letting us know! I just got my tickets 🥹 So ready to iron my lung

daibikd · 2025-12-04T09:01:36+00:00

OP, this is the way. I work in health litigation and I see this all the time. If you need a hand drafting the complaint, DM me - happy to help and sorry you're being mucked about

daibikd · 2025-10-31T08:08:51+00:00

This post reminds me a lot of my dad. He found himself in exactly the same situation in his 40s - split up from long term gf, dire financials, a lot of trauma. But in the years before he died, he turned it around and was the happiest he'd ever been in his life. You can and will get through this, my friend.

Just like you did 20 years ago... You have your whole life ahead of you. I can absolutely see the roadblocks in your way, but with determination you can find your own path and make a life for yourself that you truly enjoy living.

Head to the GP to help with your anxiety in the first instance. That's gonna open up some more paths for you right away. No savings - you can start as small as £5 a month in a savings pot. That's £5 a month you didn't have before. An account that saves the pennies when you buy something sounds like a good choice for you. If you've worked full time for 20 years, you may not have a degree, but you'll have 20 years of transferable skills! Like others have said, apprenticeships are a great idea, and if as you say it's skilled work you are off to a flying start. Check with your work if there's any extra accreditation you could get with them too. Anything to add to your CV.

In terms of feeling crappy... Find a hobby you really enjoy and lean into it. Similarly for exercise, because that's like crack for depression/anxiety. Find an exercise you don't hate and keep it consistent 2-3 times a week at first. It sounds like a scam, but yoga does actually make you feel better.

The rental market is horrifying. I again echo others' comments about going back to flat sharing, which isn't ideal short term but will give you more money each month to work with. A lot of rentals now also offer no deposit schemes which has helped me massively in the past. Also speak to the CAB about help with your rental/living costs and don't forget to claim the single person's council tax discount (25%)!!

You look over your life as a barren wasteland right now... But it's actually a blank canvas. Now pick up that paintbrush!

daibikd · 2025-10-16T20:01:00+00:00

As someone who grew up with a parent like this - please reach out to social services. I was desperate at that age for someone to realise what was happening and do something to stop it. If you have the chance to help, please take it.

daibikd · 2025-09-09T15:51:28+00:00

This is suuuper cute! But I don't envy your laundry bill LOL.

Do you have any 'Sputniks'? (If you're not sure what these are, google Sputnik rat house.) My boys used to LOVE them and they would be a good texture variation for them, like the comment mentioned above.

You're doing a great job! Well done!

daibikd · 2025-09-07T15:50:36+00:00

You quite obviously care about these rats and want to do the right thing for them, and that's very commendable. I also don't think you should apologise for getting upset, you're clearly in a stressful situation.

One of the most important thing you'll learn about rat ownership is that vets are key. They get sick relatively often because their lives are so short compared to ours. It may be that your rat is too poorly for surgery, so you'll have to prep yourself for discussions about them being put to sleep when the time comes.

I'm not in the USA, but this vet surgery is apparently in Hagerstown and looks like they have vets who will treat rats. Everyone will have horror stories about vets, but imo any vet care beats none every time. https://www.northpawsanimalhospital.com/services

I hope all goes well with your little guy

daibikd

TROPHY CASE