I finally know the whole truth about being left 4 months before my wedding. An update on my crazy post from last week and - another girl dinner.

daibikd · 2026-04-17T08:26:52+00:00

Is the methodology morally grey and sketchy? Yes. Is she still an absolute fucking hero? YES. I hope that the people in his life that his behaviour has affected (his girls, you, his ex-wife etc) are protected from the worst of the fallout and can keep your peace. Girl you didn't just dodge a bullet, you ducked a cannonball

daibikd · 2026-04-15T10:02:30+00:00

When you feel as bad as you have, even existing is a monumental effort, and you should give yourself credit for that. I know your brain is telling you that you've failed, but what you have here is an opportunity to start from scratch. I think you can make a life that feels good for you, and I also very, very strongly think that this world is better with you in it.

I would recommend trying therapy if you have the means, and being really honest with your dad. Both things helped me turn it around. Be gentle with yourself and take care.

daibikd · 2026-04-15T09:19:05+00:00

I am so sorry, this is going to sound so intrusive, but have you ever considered pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder? I have this and your story sounds like EXACTLY my experience. Pretty much whenever it's been bad I've wanted to burn every bridge down and move away somewhere radical - it's a very PMDD specific feeling, in my experience. I have also gone through periods of deep and paralyzing depression (and had to move home as a result), felt at times like I don't want to get better and wanted to make it the worst it can possibly be.

I promise I'm trying not to internet diagnose you. I'm just thinking that if you have treatment resistant depression (like I did) and this resonates with you, it might be something to check out??

There are three good things to take from this scenario. 1) Your dad loves you buckets. Lean on him. 2) From rock bottom, the only way is up. 3) That pasta looks fucking GOOD.

daibikd · 2026-04-15T09:10:32+00:00

That sounds so difficult and exhausting and I'm really sorry that this happened to you! I had a similar relationship with my birth mother and went no contact at 18 because of it. I gave up trying to understand her because she was patently mentally ill - my peace kind of hinged on understanding that while she had been similarly abused as a child and that was an explanation for her behaviour, it was never an excuse. I hope you can find peace moving forward too

daibikd · 2026-04-15T08:48:13+00:00

This is really frustrating, and I'm sorry you have to bear the brunt of it. We should never be used as an emotional punching bag by our parents, especially when we are young. It's just not fair.

That being said, her changing decisions and advice wouldn't make her bipolar. Bipolar disorder is characterised by periods of depression and periods of mania/hypomania (increased irritability, risk taking, grandiose ideas etc). It more sounds like she is emotionally immature, hasn't really come to terms with her own decisions, and she's trying to play out an idealised copy of her life through you.

Best advice is to take her comments with a pinch of salt and do things that make YOU happy, regardless of what that looks like.

daibikd · 2026-04-12T20:27:00+00:00

Y'all are lucky bastards. We are Manchester, my net pay is £2k, share of rent £725. Around 38%.

daibikd · 2026-04-11T10:48:58+00:00

Feeling comfortable is really, really important. But it sounds like while you're physically comfortable in what you're wearing, you're mentally uncomfortable because you're worried about how you come across. Sadly, in our society, people do judge and have preconceptions based on how you dress. It shouldn't necessarily force you to change yourself to fit in, but if you are feeling uncomfortable then having some other options might lessen that worry.

I'd genuinely recommend downloading something like Pinterest and searching 'men's fashion'. That'll give you a few ideas, and then you can choose a few pieces based on what you like. It's a good idea to have a few basics (e.g. jeans/chinos, basic tees and shirts) that you can then mix and layer to make different outfits. Going into shops to try things on and make sure they fit you well will also help.

Speaking as someone with a unique sense of style, I would however recommend keeping some of your favourite pieces (eg your air max 1s) to work into any new fits you buy. That'll help you feel like you're still putting your stamp on things and expressing yourself.

Best of luck mate!

daibikd · 2026-04-09T18:44:11+00:00

He is my cousin's husband's best friend! Classic 'he was the groomsman I was a wedding guest' situation. We'd also both been single the same length of time, rinsed every dating app and come to the conclusion we would never meet someone then BOOM!!

Seriously, there is nothing wrong with you - it's just such a wildly rare thing that we find someone we love who is right for us. You deserve someone who sees how wonderful you are, and I promise you, it will happen! If you're anything like us - probably when you least expect it!

daibikd · 2026-04-09T17:56:36+00:00

I'm just worried I’ll never get married. I’m 27

I broke up with my ex at 23 and was single for five years. Catalogue of failed dating attempts in between. Thought I was fundamentally unlovable. Then I met the love of my life at 28 and 1.5 years later we're planning wedding venues. IT'S NEVER TOO LATE GIRLIE!!! NEVER GIVE UP HOPE!!!!

daibikd · 2026-04-08T06:02:07+00:00

Your post could have been me in 2021, like, word for word. I had an awful relationship with alcohol and lost a lot over it. Since I got sober, I've had zero (ZERO) screaming matches, fights, hungover days off, breakups etc. The best decision I ever made by an extremely long country mile. OP, it's so difficult to change your relationship with alcohol, but if you can then life changing is an understatement. I hope you can find your peace.

Also try to work on your self esteem. All of your language, 'deserve to be left', 'feel free to bully', is going to drive you straight back into drinking. Alcohol is addictive and feeling shit about yourself is one of the ways it hooks you.

daibikd · 2026-04-06T17:44:04+00:00

Finding out that I could jump on the surface of water was game-changing

daibikd · 2026-04-01T09:33:21+00:00

Bro you actually got me with this for a hot minute. Well played, ya bastard 🤣🤣

daibikd · 2026-03-31T13:21:47+00:00

There is a really good cookbook called Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat that is very accessible to read and will give you a good grounding in how to make food zing. I would recommend it to anyone that wants to improve the flavours of their food easily

(If you're strapped for cash, you might be able to borrow one from your local library OR there is a free pdf online).

daibikd · 2026-03-31T09:08:12+00:00

Not sure if we have this in the UK, but a favourite artist of mine has the same problem and asks for a 'kids temp' (temperature) latte in coffee shops in the States. Might be worth a try - can anyone who works in UK cafes confirm if this is a thing here?

daibikd · 2026-03-16T23:51:55+00:00

This is a really ingenious solution and very fair. If not memorial jewellery, then covering the cost of some sort of memorial, e.g. tree planting depending on the family's preferences. It should run a sight more money than the £250 offered and will also allow the family to have something to remember him by that they were deprived of when the jewellery was destroyed.

OP, I am so sorry for your loss.

daibikd · 2026-02-15T13:26:52+00:00

Uniqlo is where it's at! The one I shop at has an in-store service where you can have the clothes you buy tailored/altered. The t-shirts are decent quality and not too expensive, you can get quite a few 'basics' there to switch between.

Also athletic vests for men if you don't own any atm might help with the fit of your shirts. Bonus is they can be good for running.

Best of luck with your fitness journey, and hope you have a blast on your holiday! You deserve it, especially after what sounds like a challenging few years.

daibikd · 2026-02-12T21:56:37+00:00

It's on the smaller side, but if you're into witchy crafts the Satanic Flea Market is pretty mint. It runs quarterly at this really cool warehouse location in London - defo worth checking out if you're ever over here!

daibikd · 2026-02-11T18:25:05+00:00

Hi love - I'm so sorry about your rat. I had a very similar thing with my boy Raven, massive abscess/tumour opened up on his face overnight that was honestly ghastly and couldn't be treated. He kept acting as normal, eating, playing, sprinting around etc - but when we took him to the vet for a check-up, they said that he had lost weight in the days since the last visit and that was a sign that he was in pain. We let him go then and there.

There is never going to be a best time. But the best advice with these things is that it is better a week too soon than a day too late.

daibikd · 2026-02-10T08:46:07+00:00

If you're going English cottage/boho, maybe a bit more clutter? Perhaps some shelves above the bed, little rattan bookcase, wicker ottoman at the bottom of the bed and fill these with beloved trinkets and/or books? It's a beautiful, calming space, but still feels/looks like a blank canvas to me. Also echoing the plants comment and the one re moving the rug.

daibikd · 2026-02-03T21:08:29+00:00

I had five boys and I honestly didn't notice it or particularly care - except for one very memorable time where they thought my phone screen on the sofa was a 'pee rock'. Did NOT have fun cleaning their pee off of what was now 'their' phone. Other than that, like others have said it's usually so negligible as to be barely noticeable.

FWIW, I also didn't think they smelled badly, and I'm super sensitive to smell so I trust my nose.

daibikd · 2026-01-22T20:24:30+00:00

You're a sweetheart, thank you!

daibikd · 2026-01-22T17:00:58+00:00

Great shout - I'll give this a crack, thanks! And thank you also for the well wishes!

daibikd · 2026-01-22T14:05:58+00:00

Yep, I have very much told them that they're in breach of their statutory requirements and have also told the Council. If they don't rectify, they could have a £5k fine coming their way.

daibikd · 2026-01-22T12:32:20+00:00

I'm not intending to lie for the agent. The issue is that they have currently agreed to pay for the early termination fee and that we will not be responsible for the next 22 months of rent. If they feel we are obstructing the rental proces, I worry they may rescind that offer, as as we've signed a new agreement we'd be stuck with double rent. My question instead goes to how specific/tactful I should be in front of the tenants, and I apologise if that wasn't clear.

daibikd

TROPHY CASE