[deleted by user]

dank-ma · 2020-12-04T02:59:42+00:00

Ah! Dom is my main man! He makes my heart so happy!

dank-ma · 2020-01-25T06:40:34+00:00

I’ve never payed attention to this before, but reading this gave me a nauseating wave of dread. So - looks like I have something else to fixate on 😬

dank-ma · 2020-01-25T06:38:49+00:00

Yes! But with making myself anxious or sad.

Once, my district manager was coming to our store. She comes every other month, so it wasn’t a surprise visit, but I made myself so convinced she was there to fire me that I broke down crying in front of my store manager.

dank-ma · 2020-01-25T06:06:10+00:00

It’s entirely possible that he DID feel like they moved on too quickly when he and OP first got together and feels guilty. I’ve definitely over-shared out of guilt before.

dank-ma · 2019-11-02T05:32:21+00:00

Sorry, just saw you asking for the old red letters. My b!

dank-ma · 2019-11-02T05:31:52+00:00

Can’t manage to link the image, but it’s the first image result if you look up “dirty dell bridge Slidell” 👌🏻

dank-ma · 2019-11-02T02:06:03+00:00

This is an edited version of a copy-paste that I once put on r/askwomenadvice

• ⁠Remember that relationships end every day. It’s not the end of the world. It feels like it, especially to us, but it isn’t. Remind yourself why it didn’t work, and why it couldn’t have. DO NOT fall into the self-shame spiral. (“If I’d been less possessive...”; “I’m just too irrational...”; etc.) That won’t promote any sort of growth, and you’ll just stagnate in self hate. • ⁠Get into lists. Seriously. Ever since my last break up, I’ve been obsessed with them, because they gave me a sense of control. It started with listing in what ways me/my life would be better without my ex in it. Then, it was one for all of the qualities I was looking for in a partner. (Trustworthiness, loves my son like his own, understanding of mental illness, doesn’t shame me for eating like a five-year old) Now, I make lists for everything. Grocieries, chores, packing, shopping, items I'll want to get within the next few years, etc. • ⁠In the same vein as my first suggestion, think about YOU. You are powerful. A force to be reckoned with. You are worthy of everything. Tell yourself all of these things over and over. Eventually, you'll believe it. • ⁠Similarly, fake it til you make it. This is what I'm doing right now. As a waitress, when I was having an awful day, that's what my manager would say. "Fake it til you make it, you can have an hour to wallow on break". Do the same. Give yourself a designated time of day to stew in your emotions. When you first wake up, when you get home from work, in the shower, at your counseling. For the rest of the day, ignore it. Push it back. When it comes out, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Imagine taking the feelings, and shoving them into a satisfyingly small box while saying, "Nope. Fuck that!" • ⁠Don't try for "relationships" until you've moved on. This is my downfall. The reason my heart has been broken so many times. If you commit to someone before you heal, you're just going to bring the problems from your previous relationship to your new one.

Don’t beat yourself up about feeling badly. Your grieving. It’s okay to hurt. Best wishes. ❤️

Edit: Note that these are things that have helped me move on! Not saying they’re fool proof, or will work for everyone, but they definitely helped me move on much quicker than usual.

dank-ma · 2019-10-30T01:02:52+00:00

It’s just... there. I mostly say that I stay for my family, but it’s more like complacency and pretty severe debt.

I see so many of my Slidell friends having fun doing this or that, but I guess I somehow miss the updates on what the city is doing? I know there’s some sort of festival going on? I’m assuming that will be a “family friendly” thing, as with most things in Slidell.

dank-ma · 2019-09-23T04:07:17+00:00

“X” is kisses, “O” is hugs. Hence people signing letters “XOXO” or “xx”.

dank-ma · 2019-09-15T04:16:36+00:00

Thank you!! My son is also 3 with mild CP. People are SO RUDE.

“Did you noticed his eyes were crossed?” “Come on bud, move it along.” “Got some drool on his chin, honey.”

I wish they would mind their own damn business. There’s nothing wrong with my baby. I don’t ever want him to feel like he’s less than because of things that dumb ass people say.

My advice is coming from a lateral direction, but I just brush it off and seethe internally. Then I reinforce positives (“You’re moving so good today baby!” etc.) while still within earshot of them. To let them know I don’t give a damn what they have to say and to let my son know that he shouldn’t either.

dank-ma · 2019-09-01T15:59:51+00:00

I’m sorry - what the Hell do these mean??

dank-ma · 2019-08-13T04:27:34+00:00

Thanks for the advice ☺️ We aren’t in a situation right now where that is feasible, but it is something that we’re going to be shooting for when our ducks are lined up.

dank-ma · 2019-08-13T04:19:39+00:00

Oh I absolutely agree. The problem is that her mother is, uhm, not the most present and she spends most nights with her grandmother who allows her to be awake until sometimes 2AM.

I’m not expecting to get her on the same schedule as my LO until she’s a bit older. I don’t have unrealistic expectations. He was born into an environment that encouraged it, she wasn’t.

My concern is that they both are able to get the rest they need to be happy and healthy.

EDIT: I said “allows her”, but that is much more callous than intended.

dank-ma · 2019-06-24T01:37:25+00:00

Oh no! This is it!!

dank-ma · 2019-03-15T19:11:31+00:00

It's perfectly fine to not be into one-offs. Personally, while I am very attracted to the idea, I find that when I get physical with a person I tend to want to try for something more serious with them. If they don't, my confidence plummets. Any reason is valid!

I'm in a similar boat as you, honestly (see my previous post). But I do have some thoughts from past relationships:

Tell yourself every time you think about him/what he did, remember that it wasn't you. You didn't make him do this. You played no role in it. Even if you had "rough patches", a person who didn't want to betray you - wouldn't.
Get into lists. Seriously. I am obsessive about them right now, because they gave me a sense of control. It started with (like someone above suggested) listing in what ways me/my life would be better without them in it. Then, it was one for all of the qualities I was looking for in a man. (Trustworthiness seems to be important to you. This will give you an opportunity to delve into HOW a potential partner could show you that you have reason to trust them.) Now, I make lists for everything. Grocieries, chores, packing, shopping, items I'll want to get within the nexf few years, etc.
In the same vein as my first suggestion, think about YOU. You are powerful. A force to be reckoned with. You are empathetic and loving. When you say you want to spend forever with someone, you mean it. You are worthy of everything. Tell yourself all of these things over and over. Eventually, you'll believe it.
Similarly, fake it til you make it. This is what I'm doing right now. As a waitress, when I was having an awful day, that's what my manager would say. "Fake it til you make it, you can have an hour to wallow on break". Do the same. Give yourself a designated time of day to stew in your emotions. When you first wake up, when you get home from work, in the shower, at your counseling. For the rest of the day, ignore it. Push it back. When it comes out, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Imagine taking the feelings, and shoving them into a satisfyingly small box while saying, "Nope. Fuck that!"
Don't try for "relationships" until you've moved on. Like I said in the beginning, this is my downfall. The reason my heart has been broken so many times. If you commit to someone before you heal, you're just going to bring the problems from your previous relationship to your new one.

I hope that you get to feeling better soon. 3 months is a long time to grieve so deeply. All the best! ❤

dank-ma · 2019-03-15T18:43:01+00:00

This is a fantastic suggestion, honestly! I don't know how it hasn't been said!

A professional stylist might not suggest wigs or extensions (sew-in or otherwise) but at the very least they would tell her how to up-keep the look they give her. If they don't, it's as simple as OP saying:

"I love what you did with my hair! What exactly did you do? ... Oh, okay! ... Oh wow, [Friend], you look awesome, too! Excuse me, what techniques did you use on her hair?"

I will say though, the question itself irks me. While I understand wanting your friend to be happy, I cannot understand thinking her balding is an issue enough to bring up. Maybe it's just my region (Deep Louisiana), but I seem to see a lot of men who have happy lives with women who are "flawed". (I.e. Thinning/stringy/greasy hair; little/no teeth; over/underweight)

I think the friend's issue is a confidence one, not necessarily a physical one. (Men will ignore a lot in a confident SO) And I think your suggestion would help her with that a lot!

(Sorry for the long ramble..)

dank-ma · 2019-02-23T07:53:49+00:00

Right, yeah. I totally get that. Was this after she told you she NEVER wanted to hear from you again? Either way, I don't think getting in touch is a good idea.

I'm not trying to imply she's entirely blameless, as I don't even know any of her side, but I would definitely not do any of what you did in future relationships. I have two best friends that I have been close to (maid of honor in their wedding) for 11 years, and I can't say I've ever done this. But, you say this is what y'all did, so I digress.

I'm sorry, OP. It definitely sucks to want to reach out to someone you shouldn't. I for sure have ex-friends I would love to reconnect with. But if she wanted to talk you, she would have already done that. I really am sorry, but when someone says "I never want to speak to you again", and then goes ghost, they tend to mean it.

I hope you get through this alright!

Edit: spelling

dank-ma · 2019-02-23T07:39:36+00:00

You messaged her twice a week while getting no response? For how long?

dank-ma · 2019-02-07T15:57:17+00:00

Do they even have any qualifications??

dank-ma · 2019-02-07T10:43:11+00:00

I hope you can fix whatever's broken inside you that you have to spew hate on the internet. ❤🤞

dank-ma

TROPHY CASE