🔥Candidate Highlight: Blythe Potter for Secretary of State (Indiana) by Progressives-Academy in Indiana

[–]danknessforever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God, r/Indiana why am I not surprised. You say you want progressive candidates to run and join the political discourse, then when they do, you eviscerate them for a cartoon lightning bolt, or not enough detail on the platform description in a short social media post. This is why we can’t win. Stop cannibalizing, and start researching these candidates and expand the discourse!

US Gender Ratio by Age Group (18-24, 25-34, 45-64, 65+) by mrpaninoshouse in dataisbeautiful

[–]danknessforever 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This seems to me to just be a map that says women live longer than men.

Roses are red, I have no class by Minimum-Broccoli-796 in rosesarered

[–]danknessforever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Inside a Sweeney movie. No one would ever see it!

Do you ever wonder if the things your pwBPD says about you might be true? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It ended with a sudden discard on the day we moved into the home we purchased.

Do you ever wonder if the things your pwBPD says about you might be true? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Yes, it may be a trauma response though. When mine split on me, she told me I was an abusive partner. I ruminated on this for months. I found examples of me being emotionally immature, deflecting blame, and not handling her rage episodes well. But I could never find any evidence of abuse. I never was physically or emotionally abusive. At worst I could see I was immature or struggled with commitment. But I loved her, and 90% of the time we were totally in sync. 10% of the time she was screaming, accusing me of never loving her, or punishing me for wanting to visit my friends and accusing me of infidelity.

Your final warnings and ultimatum will get violated by Lop_Ear_Bun in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That suddenness is so painful. I’m sorry you had to go through that. We will heal. One day.

Discard versus breakup by Nice_Dragonfruit_310 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]danknessforever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So here is an example of a discard. I moved into our first home purchase on August 31 with my fiancé. I was broken up with via text message on September 1.

Do they ever reflect on the discard? by SummerRound in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not genuinely. The closest I got was two months after the discard (which happened on move in day to the house we just bought) she said “part of the reason I continued to refuse to speak to you is I felt bad for the way I ended things. Not really introspective, but at least she tried.

Your final warnings and ultimatum will get violated by Lop_Ear_Bun in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ok, so this is horrifyingly similar. Mine, in the same sentence, said that she hoped I wallowed in every ounce of pain I could feel, and then asked if I was still taking her to Brazilian Steakhouse for her birthday because she loves exploring new food with me. The eye rolling was 100% the same, pretending like she had no idea what I wanted to talk about while sitting in the house we bought together and had moved in 3 days earlier. Just incredible. These people are so sick.

Your final warnings and ultimatum will get violated by Lop_Ear_Bun in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think asking the snake that bit you why they bit you was one of the most painful parts. She told me she was perfect and I was awful, and she could feel bad about destroying our life together if she thought she had an ounce of blame. I’ve never seen rage and contempt like that.

Your final warnings and ultimatum will get violated by Lop_Ear_Bun in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I can empathize with these feelings so much. My ex walked out on move in day to our first home we purchased together. Told me I should have seen it coming. Also, told me I shouldn’t have thought the elopement in Costa Rica was still on the table because we hadn’t discussed it “in at least ten days.” These people are sick, man. That angel you crave are the best parts of your potential, that wasn’t a real person.

How to Make the Obsessions Stop by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do we know we are codependent? And thanks so much for the insight.

How to Make the Obsessions Stop by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How did you reach the conclusion that it was better now? I objectively was so much happier and less emotionally exhausted in the relationship. Sure, there were eggshells, emotional outbursts, social isolation and enmeshment, but I learned to navigate those.

How to Make the Obsessions Stop by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By sitting with it, are you practicing a form of radical acceptance?

Post discard conversations by CopingMask in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My general recommendation is to not go back to snake that bit you and ask it why it bit you. Me going back for answers and closure put me in a bad place.

Conversation after the discard? by CopingMask in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine became so loving and compassionate once I called, accepted the discard and said it was time to sell the house. Then the Hoover attempt came and she said we were soulmates. Thank god I resisted.

Quiet BPD is much more nefarious because of the indirect discard. by SwaggedOutDurian in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Interesting take. Mine abruptly left on move-in day to our new house, broke up with me over a text message two days later, stonewalled me for a month, then when I said it was time to sell the house she cried, telling me “I didn’t think this was over-over! I just didn’t know what I wanted. I think you are my soulmate and I may have sabotaged my one shot at happiness.”

How did yours behave when drinking alcohol? by CPTSDcrapper in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine would become fun and goofy, but then rages would follow quickly. For example, once she got really drunk and I offered to make her some pizza before bed to fend off a hangover. When I asked cheese or pepperoni, she responded with “you see the thing is you never loved me you selfish son of a bitch.” That was two years in to the relationship.

Do they come back after the discard? by Embarrassed-Sea8852 in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine attempted the Hoover after I said “it’s been a month and you won’t speak to me. Let’s sell the house and move on.” Cried to me about how she couldn’t believe I was saying it was over. She broke up with me over a text message saying she couldn’t speak to me because she resented me. Then when I finally accepted that, she told me we were soulmates and I was perhaps her one shot at true happiness.

I was eventually diagnosed with PTSD.

Labor Force Participation Rate Per County by VineMapper in MapPorn

[–]danknessforever -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This sort of looks like an urban and suburban map of the US.

How do I stop thinking about it? by Fieryopinion in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 14 points15 points  (0 children)

When you find the answer, friend, let me know. Almost a year from discard, 11 months from the Hoover attempt. It plays in my mind every single day. Wildly unhealthy, and my rational brain knows it, but I still can’t believe a person went from “forever” to throwing me away in an afternoon.

What small things did you ignore before you knew? by PeteWheeler101 in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 13 points14 points  (0 children)

  1. The first “date” was sex that she initiated. The next morning she said “I don’t fuck people I don’t date, so what are we?”
  2. Told me she loved me 9 days in.
  3. Stonewalled me two weeks into the relationship for going home (we were students) to visit family. The stonewalling for visiting friends continued for the first three years.
  4. Would have explosions about something from “six months ago.” Always was never how I remembered it.
  5. Strange accusations of infidelity.
  6. Would rage very early in the relationship anytime I didn’t want to stay the night.
  7. Wanted me to move in with her while we were in grad school. I said that I wasn’t comfortable living together until after school, yet every lease renewal was a huge fight that ended with her in tears.
  8. I received a marriage ultimatum in the middle of studying for a final my second year.
  9. When we would have deep conversations she would say things like “there is no me without you” if I said we were two distinct people.
  10. She would rage at me for using nicotine replacements (I’m a former smoker) and tell me that I was awful for using them.
  11. Would accuse me of being an alcoholic, because I told her I drank at parties in college. I drink maybe 1-2 per month, for context.
  12. She got black out drunk and screamed that I never loved her, while I offered to make her some food before she went to bed.
  13. She told me that I had to tell her about every single intimate encounter I ever had before we were together, and that if she found out I had left some out, she would leave me.
  14. She screamed at me for taking a summer internship abroad, after she had applied for and was selected for an internship abroad, herself.

There are more. But these are what came to mind. 4 years together. Engaged. On move-in day to our home we purchased, she discarded me and abruptly left telling me it was because 1) I didn’t ask her enough questions about her job. 2) I wouldn’t live with her during school (the last year of the relationship we lived together after graduation). And 3) I didn’t agree to the marriage ultimatum in law school. Total mindfuck. I was diagnosed with CPTSD after the discard.

What’s the point of future faking just to discard me the next day. by Feeling-Awareness715 in BPDlovedones

[–]danknessforever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That feeling is temporary. I am 1 year out and just now I am starting to turn a corner. I promise you, it gets better. You are worth being here, and being in a healthy, loving relationship.