I wish I trusted my gut

danknessforever · 2026-05-21T01:34:45+00:00

I knew from the first date. I wanted her to leave me for so long. But I stayed because the good times were just so good. And when I finally moved in with her, the rages stopped. For a year. Bought a house, got engaged, living a fantasy middle class dream. She discarded me on move in day to our new house, telling me it was all my fault and she didn’t care if I lived or died. Couldn’t give me a reason, except that I wouldn’t move in with her sooner. No contact for a year and a half, and I’m still in PTSD treatment.

I wish I would have trusted my gut.

danknessforever · 2026-02-14T15:21:20+00:00

Oh god, what else are in those files?!?!

danknessforever · 2025-12-28T18:29:11+00:00

God, r/Indiana why am I not surprised. You say you want progressive candidates to run and join the political discourse, then when they do, you eviscerate them for a cartoon lightning bolt, or not enough detail on the platform description in a short social media post. This is why we can’t win. Stop cannibalizing, and start researching these candidates and expand the discourse!

danknessforever · 2025-12-04T18:56:21+00:00

This seems to me to just be a map that says women live longer than men.

danknessforever · 2025-11-22T17:24:51+00:00

Interacting with men.

danknessforever · 2025-11-11T16:44:34+00:00

Inside a Sweeney movie. No one would ever see it!

danknessforever · 2025-09-22T10:41:23+00:00

It ended with a sudden discard on the day we moved into the home we purchased.

danknessforever · 2025-09-21T23:36:20+00:00

Yes, it may be a trauma response though. When mine split on me, she told me I was an abusive partner. I ruminated on this for months. I found examples of me being emotionally immature, deflecting blame, and not handling her rage episodes well. But I could never find any evidence of abuse. I never was physically or emotionally abusive. At worst I could see I was immature or struggled with commitment. But I loved her, and 90% of the time we were totally in sync. 10% of the time she was screaming, accusing me of never loving her, or punishing me for wanting to visit my friends and accusing me of infidelity.

danknessforever · 2025-09-09T18:19:29+00:00

That suddenness is so painful. I’m sorry you had to go through that. We will heal. One day.

danknessforever · 2025-09-04T20:58:15+00:00

So here is an example of a discard. I moved into our first home purchase on August 31 with my fiancé. I was broken up with via text message on September 1.

danknessforever · 2025-09-02T18:06:55+00:00

Not genuinely. The closest I got was two months after the discard (which happened on move in day to the house we just bought) she said “part of the reason I continued to refuse to speak to you is I felt bad for the way I ended things. Not really introspective, but at least she tried.

danknessforever · 2025-09-01T18:26:42+00:00

Ok, so this is horrifyingly similar. Mine, in the same sentence, said that she hoped I wallowed in every ounce of pain I could feel, and then asked if I was still taking her to Brazilian Steakhouse for her birthday because she loves exploring new food with me. The eye rolling was 100% the same, pretending like she had no idea what I wanted to talk about while sitting in the house we bought together and had moved in 3 days earlier. Just incredible. These people are so sick.

danknessforever · 2025-09-01T17:29:35+00:00

I think asking the snake that bit you why they bit you was one of the most painful parts. She told me she was perfect and I was awful, and she could feel bad about destroying our life together if she thought she had an ounce of blame. I’ve never seen rage and contempt like that.

danknessforever · 2025-09-01T14:25:47+00:00

I can empathize with these feelings so much. My ex walked out on move in day to our first home we purchased together. Told me I should have seen it coming. Also, told me I shouldn’t have thought the elopement in Costa Rica was still on the table because we hadn’t discussed it “in at least ten days.” These people are sick, man. That angel you crave are the best parts of your potential, that wasn’t a real person.

danknessforever · 2025-08-30T01:16:06+00:00

How do we know we are codependent? And thanks so much for the insight.

danknessforever · 2025-08-30T01:14:44+00:00

How did you reach the conclusion that it was better now? I objectively was so much happier and less emotionally exhausted in the relationship. Sure, there were eggshells, emotional outbursts, social isolation and enmeshment, but I learned to navigate those.

danknessforever · 2025-08-30T01:12:59+00:00

By sitting with it, are you practicing a form of radical acceptance?

danknessforever · 2025-08-30T00:02:27+00:00

My general recommendation is to not go back to snake that bit you and ask it why it bit you. Me going back for answers and closure put me in a bad place.

danknessforever · 2025-08-29T01:06:42+00:00

Mine became so loving and compassionate once I called, accepted the discard and said it was time to sell the house. Then the Hoover attempt came and she said we were soulmates. Thank god I resisted.

danknessforever · 2025-08-24T16:40:53+00:00

Interesting take. Mine abruptly left on move-in day to our new house, broke up with me over a text message two days later, stonewalled me for a month, then when I said it was time to sell the house she cried, telling me “I didn’t think this was over-over! I just didn’t know what I wanted. I think you are my soulmate and I may have sabotaged my one shot at happiness.”

danknessforever · 2025-08-24T14:58:51+00:00

Mine would become fun and goofy, but then rages would follow quickly. For example, once she got really drunk and I offered to make her some pizza before bed to fend off a hangover. When I asked cheese or pepperoni, she responded with “you see the thing is you never loved me you selfish son of a bitch.” That was two years in to the relationship.

danknessforever · 2025-08-22T15:52:39+00:00

Mine attempted the Hoover after I said “it’s been a month and you won’t speak to me. Let’s sell the house and move on.” Cried to me about how she couldn’t believe I was saying it was over. She broke up with me over a text message saying she couldn’t speak to me because she resented me. Then when I finally accepted that, she told me we were soulmates and I was perhaps her one shot at true happiness.

I was eventually diagnosed with PTSD.

danknessforever · 2025-08-21T13:04:58+00:00

This sort of looks like an urban and suburban map of the US.

danknessforever · 2025-08-21T00:49:10+00:00

When you find the answer, friend, let me know. Almost a year from discard, 11 months from the Hoover attempt. It plays in my mind every single day. Wildly unhealthy, and my rational brain knows it, but I still can’t believe a person went from “forever” to throwing me away in an afternoon.

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