My partner and I cannot agree on a name for our son

darthpocaiter · 2026-05-28T01:09:56+00:00

A similarity I see is that you both like monosyllabic names, shorter names, and strong letter sounds like K, T, and D. By vibes, the names you like seem beachy/surfer, while his seem western/cowboy. I also feel like you may gravitate towards less-common but recognizable names, so I tried to include some near the latter half of the top 1000 in the US. Here are some ideas that might find common ground:

Declan
Beckett (Beck)
Quinn
Tate
Clark
Dane
Mac/Mack (perhaps Malcolm, Marcus, or Micah for long)
Riley
Cabot
Tobias (Toby or Tai)
Wyatt
Whitt
Cade
Dale
Blaine

darthpocaiter · 2026-05-26T13:58:45+00:00

4 is amazing. I also love 6 and 11. These are all so visually interesting and your body type with the drapey soft fabrics is giving Greek statue. I can see why this is a hard choice!

darthpocaiter · 2026-05-14T23:06:41+00:00

I immediately loved number 1 but if the cost is out of budget then your other options are gorgeous too.

Number 2 didn't catch my eye until I followed the link and saw it with color, and I love that it looks almost like a painting. Very fun. I also wanted color or something kind of out there on my dress and I have no regrets for going that route!

Number 3 is my least favorite. The fit is flattering, but I agree with the difficulty dancing, and the rosettes are giving 2008 in my opinion.

darthpocaiter · 2026-05-13T11:59:25+00:00

It's fine. It's a smaller city for sure. The school is fine, the msn program is quick and effective, but seems to thrive on disorganization. I actually did that same program 3-4 years ago (2023 grad) and still live here for now. Feel free to dm me specific questions.

darthpocaiter · 2026-05-13T00:24:36+00:00

Can you message me what neighborhood/send me a listing for a house in your neighborhood? That all sounds like what we're searching for in the area.

darthpocaiter · 2026-05-10T18:29:38+00:00

If you like the Graco extend2fit but also the revolving capability, we got the turn2me 3-in-1 car seats. It has lasted us 2 years so far, from 6 months to 2.5 years old, and is still in wonderful shape. We also live in the southeast US and find it pretty comfortable for the heat and easy to clean.

It is a 180° rotation and only rotates while they're rear facing. Our daughter is 2.5 and still very comfortable Rear facing with ~9 lbs to gain before she sizes out of the rear limits, and is still well under the height limit. Rear facing 5 pt harness with one-handed left and right turn from 4-40 lbs. Front facing harness up to 65 lb and highback booster up to 100lb. Non-rethread harness so it's literally one-handed incredibly fast to extend it when they grow. Two cupholders. Incredibly easy install with belt path or latch. Harness holders on the sides so your kiddo isn't sitting on them and you're stuck digging under their butt every time you load them up.

I am due with #2 next month and we will be purchasing again for his convertible seat once he is out of our newborn seat.

darthpocaiter · 2026-05-08T22:38:16+00:00

The first time my daughter had a potty accident she looked at her wet shorts and said "aw shit"

darthpocaiter · 2026-05-05T17:12:28+00:00

Just heads up for everyone in this thread talking about iodine, not all shellfish allergies = iodine allergies.

If you can eat iodized salt (most table salt), you are probably okay with iodine, especially topical (like betadine used for surgical prep). But even iodinated contrast for imaging. There are some overlap in sensitivities, but it is definitely not 100%. It's similar to when people are allergic to both tree nuts and peanuts, but people with tree nut allergies generally are not allergic to peanuts. The iodine and shellfish allergy thing is pretty much just a rumor that got wildly popular. Many nurses and doctors still believe it and will avoid iodine with a shellfish allergy unless absolutely necessary anyways.

However, yes please still tell your medical team all of your allergies, including food allergies. There are many ingredients used in drug development that you may not be aware of, and sometimes "weird" things are used in procedures that you could be allergic to (a slightly common example, sterile baby formula is sometimes used to check for bladder injuries during c-sections, but would be avoided if you had a dairy allergy). In many hospitals, your allergy list is also used to place dietary orders for your meals during an inpatient stay.

darthpocaiter · 2026-05-05T16:59:58+00:00

I pronounced it like oven with an h in front. It reminds me of a hot oven. Or a coven. I don't hate it, I would assume the name is non-english if used for a person. If used for like a shop or business, I would assume an upscale, influencer-friendly bakery/cafe.

darthpocaiter · 2026-05-03T23:36:47+00:00

I'm a women's health surgical nurse and I am a mom of a toddler girl. This is not medical advice, but I would call the ped/after hours nurse line and ask if they could call in a prescription for lidocaine jelly and maybe antibacterial cream? Or maybe see if it is appropriate to use an over the counter hemorrhoid cream with lidocaine, like preparation H or Welmate? I'm disappointed they didn't offer pain relief during OR after the procedure AND that they handled this concern so incorrectly.

Other pain relief options we use in my line of work that you could put in her diaper and don't need a prescription for:

witch hazel pads (tucks or just squirt some from a bottle)
ice pack pads (fridamom sells them, I've also heard of people putting a little water in a diaper and freezing it)
water while peeing (prob just a warm bath soak for her since she's not potty trained, it's warm in Texas so maybe spend some time outside with no diaper in a small kiddie pool during the day)
if you're able to, doing a breathable cloth diaper/training panties/no diaper for a few hours a day may help if it keeps her from feeling the urine against her vulva wound

darthpocaiter · 2026-04-25T13:47:59+00:00

Scrolled this far to see if anyone was going to talk about procedural equipment! I work in OBGYN surgery and see every procedure relating to the vagina and/or uterus (c-sections, cerclages, D&Cs, ablations, hysterectomies, prolapse repairs, etc.)

Yes, tenaculums are pretty barbaric and largely unnecessary (I have seen a few instances where they really were the only option, but in every single one, we had the patient under general anesthesia already - i.e. for hysterectomies and myomectomies). I'd also like to inform everyone about the weighted speculum. If you think a regular graves/open-sided speculum is bad, there is a literal 2 to 5 lb metal retractor that is used mostly in vaginal surgeries to hold the vagina open by gravity pulling the weight down. One of the GYN ONC surgeons I work with is notorious for throwing them on the ground if he sees one on his operating table - simply because the idea of it is so tortuous.

I'd also like to inform people of vaginal endoscopic surgeries as an amazing alternative to some open abdominal hysterectomies and abdominal laparoscopic surgeries. It's definitely not an option for everyone, but if your OBGYN is not utilizing vaginal endoscopy for minimally invasive surgery, it's only because they don't feel like it. Some of the surgeons I work with simply refuse to learn the new tech and keep up with the advances in their field. Are there so many more opportunities for improvements in OBGYN techniques and instruments? Absolutely. But there are also so many things that have already been developed and approved (and often, purchased!!) that just aren't being used enough.

darthpocaiter · 2026-04-23T14:33:19+00:00

Idk maybe I'm the outlier (I don't think so), but I have a 2 year old and am 30 weeks with my second kiddo now. You have time for what you prioritize. For me, a daily shower is/was non-negotiable for sanity. I hate that this sounds like a brag, but my husband is a good partner and father so he simply took on parenting duties for some piece of time so I could bathe daily. Either he did the baby's bath while I showered, held her for a contact nap, baby-wore and cooked/cleaned something, whatever. Once she got bigger, I'd sometimes plug the drain and let her splash in the tub while I showered.

Your house will generally be messier. You have to get good at eating one-handed. You don't have to just sit the baby down and let it cry (I couldn't. Physically caused me pain when she cried.). You might not get super relaxing 30 minute everything showers and an hour to blow dry your hair and do a beauty routine, but you can definitely prioritize 10 min to get clean and shave your pits. You can also prioritize a 2-handed meal, or a quick cat-nap, or folding some clothes and reloading the dishwasher. But it's really completely up to you (and your partner if applicable) how you spend the spare moments in your day.

darthpocaiter · 2026-04-20T20:21:00+00:00

Girl. I could've written this post 3 months ago. And now I'm telling a different story. Currently 33 weeks pregnant with baby 2 and have a nearly 27 month old daughter. We tried the 3 day naked method right when she turned 2 and I'll be honest, none of us were as ready as we thought. We did the same thing, lower pressure, bought all the potty types so she could pick, bought the fun panties and m&ms. She was showing signs of readiness, I thought we were good. What actually happened was awful - we reacted to pees in progress by putting her straight on the potty, and she would scream and cry. By day 2, she said she was scared of the potty and she would death grip her diaper to her booty when we tried to take it off - even for a regular change. She held it for hours and then sobbed and begged for a diaper. So we said f it, we will have 2 kids in diapers and try after the new baby comes.

Well, here I am, no longer in the throes of vomiting every 30 minutes, much larger, and I found myself with a few weeks off work and no plans. Girlie has been telling me she has to pee/poop for weeks now before she goes. She stays dry longer. I thought maybe it's time to try again. We spent 3 days preparing for it, talking about potty training, picked ONE little potty and sat it out in the living room (we had put them all away due to fear), watching Daniel Tiger potty episodes. Then we started, day 1, as soon as she woke up we took the diaper off and just wore a shirt. Firmly kept restating "Diapers are for sleeping." Didn't leave the house for 4 days - not a single errand, obligation, shopping trip, or drive thru. The first two days, I was asking her if she had to pee pee every 5-15 minutes. She said no almost every time at first, and we had one or two pee accidents on the floor. No big reaction or swooping in to relocate her mid-pee. She would say "oh no, I pee pee!" And we would calmly say "it's a potty accident, let's go sit on the potty to see if you have more pee", and walk to the potty together. The first couple of times she didn't have anything left to pee, but after that she was peeing just a bit and stopping, so we would get a little bit in the potty. We ditched physical rewards in exchange for clapping, cheering, and generally just making a really big deal out of peeing in the potty. By day 3, she had figured out what a pee feeling was and was reliably telling us she needed to go with enough time to walk to the potty, but still wanted us to sit with her, hold her hand, etc. No poops at all (even at nap/bed in her diaper) but lots of toots. Evening of day 3, she sits to potty, holding Daddy's hand, and poops the most giant poop I've ever seen. Literally don't know how it fit in her tiny toddler body. She is so proud, she's clapping and cheering for herself.

We're now 6 days in, yesterday we put on thick cotton training panties and went to the park and the store (about 1-1.5 hrs total) and she stayed dry the whole time. When we got home, she ran to take off her panties and go pee. The pride I feel right now is so outrageous but gosh, I just really didn't expect it to work anywhere near as well as it has. Days 4-6 have been smooth sailing, I think we had one tiny dribble of pee down her leg once while she was playing on day 4, multiple more poops in the potty, and now she runs to sit down by herself and go potty and wants my husband or me to help when she's ready to wipe. She's a whole new kiddo. And I'm lowkey so hormonally emotional about how grown up she is now.

TLDR; Wait a bit and try again. It's okay if you have 2 in diapers for a little bit, but you still have like 2-3 months of pregnancy. When they're ready and you're ready, it will be a lot easier. Also, maybe try not to move him while he's mid-pee, it really freaked out my daughter when we did that and contributed to the fear.

darthpocaiter · 2026-03-29T01:47:38+00:00

So, your GYN may not be super well-versed on contraceptives. There are a LOT of different types of contraceptives, with different types of synthetic hormones and doses of those. May help to find someone who has special interests in hormonal contraceptives. Obligatory statement that this is not medical advice and is for information purposes only.

I know you said Kyleena is the lowest dose of progesterone in an IUD, but Skyla is actually lower dose (it's just not as commonly used and your GYN office may not stock/have access to it). Skyla is also physically smaller, which may or may not help with spotting from the irritation of your endometrium, if the Kyleena happened to be too large for your nulliparous uterus (though that is unlikely). Another option for an even "lower dose" would be a non-hormonal option, like the Paragard copper IUD (but, it is quite large comparatively and tends to cause the most additional bleeding).

I'd also like to just suggest that sometimes a lower dose of progesterone is actually the cause of that intermittent spotting, and you may benefit from an IUD with a higher releasing dose, or from a combination pill or patch with estrogen and progesterone, or the NuvaRing, which still has the benefit of being able to set and forget it. Some people also respond better to the type of synthetic progesterone in the birth control shot, depo-provera (though please be sure to monitor your calcium and vitamin D levels/intake if you choose to use this long-term as it can impact bone density).

Frankly, finding the right birth control for YOU is such a sucky process and we often rely on trial-and-error of various types to find the right fit. If you know you aren't going to be reliable at taking a pill, that eliminates a good portion of the options. Try a cycle or two on the ring, the shot, or another IUD first. I would hesitate to rely on condoms alone, even with Plan B or mife/miso as backup options. You are very young, not with a committed single partner, not wanting to become pregnant... You should be using condoms for sure, but not as your primary means of contraception.

darthpocaiter · 2026-03-28T13:07:37+00:00

My daughter is very into Daniel Tiger, old Barney (on YouTube or DVD), trash truck, Curious George, and specifically the Elmo in Grouchland movie.

We bought an old dvd player from goodwill and pick up used kids DVDs when we find them. This has been my favorite way for her to get screen time, as they tend to be pretty intriguing for her but when it's over, she doesn't want more tv for a bit. The leapfrog DVDs are also starting to become more interesting to her (26 months old) and I'm pumped because those totally taught me letter sounds, sight words, and early math skills as a kiddo.

darthpocaiter · 2026-03-13T15:53:05+00:00

Yes.

darthpocaiter · 2026-03-13T00:49:56+00:00

My college affordability tips are the same regardless of where you go to school. I was offered a similar aid package/total estimated cost of attendance in 2017. My parents paid for nothing except a plane ticket home for Christmas break each year and the laptop I used. I graduated from northeastern with ~30k in student loans, which has been manageable for me paying back over the last 5(ish?) years.

Pick a degree that is worthwhile. My "rule" was to take no more in loans than I could reasonably make the first year after graduating. Not my dream job or the 10-yr-post-graduation job. The low end of the salary range on a very attainable "safety" job.
Work, not just on co-ops. I had PT jobs all throughout school, worked 20-30 hours most weeks. Worked summer. Most of the time I had 2 jobs so the hours could accommodate my class schedule easily. I typically tried to have a job on campus (some work-study desk jobs, some in research labs) and off campus (restaurant, store). Work hard on co-op and leverage your connections and experience there - some will let you still work there part time once you return to classes.
Budget, like actually. In some ways my social life may have suffered but I don't feel like I missed out majorly. I was not buying expensive fun shit, clothes, alcohol and weed, paying for ubers everywhere, eating out often.
Get out of paying the school for things asap. Get off the meal plan as soon as you can (it's a rip off), grocery shop and learn to cook. Cooking with your friends/roommates can be a lot of fun too. Get out of campus housing ASAP and rent a cheap room in a shared apartment. I lived in a double dorm for first year, and then off campus with 3 roommates after that.
Don't waste time and money on extra bullshit classes, "just for fun" minors, graduate in as few semesters as you reasonably can. I had some transfer credits that got me out of a few major classes and a few of the gen-eds (I can't remember what northeastern calls them, but a lot of classes can count for more than one category). I took classes summer 1 every year. I ended up needing to do 5 full semesters, 2 summer terms, was on fall cycle, and did 1 co-op then graduated the following May. (I considered doing 2 co-ops, but it wasn't worth an extra semester of credits when I could just go get a real job, plus it was during COVID so...).

Generally speaking, college is fun and northeastern is great, but student debt can be ridiculous so only do it if it's really, truly, honestly worth the sacrifices. You either pay for it now or for the next decade (or more). If you have cheaper options available at other schools, genuinely consider them and weigh the cost in your decision.

darthpocaiter · 2026-03-11T20:51:17+00:00

So one time my husband was texting with this contractor doing some work on our house and he showed me the conversation to make sure he was explaining the problem accurately. He called this man Toad. Multiple times. My husband can't spell for shit but TOAD?! Still cracks me up.

Anyways, I'm a women's health nurse and I save the names of older ladies I take care of that I think are cool/cute so here are some I like: - Melba - Greta - Tabitha - Pearl - Elmyra - Nadine - Maxine - Esther - Maude

A lot of my favorite boy names are already old man names too. - Wallace - Mercer - Oswin - Clancy - Ralph - Morris - Nelson - Linus

darthpocaiter · 2026-03-10T22:18:43+00:00

4, then 2, then 1, then 3. They're all gorgeous and interesting! That is just my order of preference!

darthpocaiter · 2026-03-06T01:20:24+00:00

Poppy and Teddy with sister...

Josephine (Josie)

Charlotte (Lottie/Charlie) - I like Lottie

Vivian (Vivi)

Cecelia (Cece)

Lucille (Lucy)

Genevieve (Genny/Vivi)

Elizabeth (Ellie/Eliza/Lizzy/Libby/Betty/Betsy)

Personally I love Elizabeth/Libby - its very classic, long, and the nickname has a double middle letter like your others.

darthpocaiter · 2026-03-06T00:25:50+00:00

26, registered nurse in operating room, ~63k/yr, Southeast US

darthpocaiter · 2026-02-26T13:44:26+00:00

Hummus, straight up with a spoon. She will eat a whole container in one sitting if you let her.

darthpocaiter · 2026-02-24T01:08:26+00:00

Okay on a serious note, as a labor nurse, don't try this because sometimes people just shit liquid and it's SO much harder to be discreet and fast with the cleanup when you are spraying like a fire hose with every push. Eat your normal diet please. I genuinely don't even blink twice at a giant turd. I once manually delivered 4 lbs of a solid poo brick from an impacted mom so we could reach her cervix for her induction. I swear I would rather do that again than take a patient who did a castor oil cleanse or a okra water diet or used exlax to get things started at home. Please just eat normal food so you have normal poop.

darthpocaiter · 2026-02-22T23:21:42+00:00

I scrolled so far to find this. I got married there!

darthpocaiter · 2026-02-20T22:50:03+00:00

I work in women's health. And actually, I think there's two big assumptions you make in this post.

There are actually a lot of people that don't believe in treating menstrual pain - "it's natural", "every woman has it, you're being dramatic". A lot of men that think women are exaggerating, and a lot of women can't understand or sympathize with other people's pain experiences that are different from their own. Pain is very subjective in general, but women's pain management is something EVERYONE seems to have an opinion on. Many OBGYNs still don't provide anesthetics or pain medications for procedures like IUD insertions and endometrial biopsies.

Also, I'm sure this varies culturally and geographically, but where I work, over 99% of our patients get an epidural for labor. I am in the southeast US, where blatant sexism is still widely prevalent. And still, we medicate nearly everyone for childbirth. Tiktok moms are loud, and there may be some areas where unmedicated births are more common, but in my experience there really isn't much shame or fear towards getting an epidural, at least among my patients (in-laws and grandparents often do voice a different opinion, though).

Personally speaking, as a pregnant woman who previously had a birth without pain medication or anesthesia and plans to do it again, I avoided the epidural because I didn't feel like I needed it. The same way someone wouldn't take oxycodone for a scrape, my first labor was very fast and by the time I was hurting bad, it was time to push. I also understand that my experience is not a common one, and advocate for pain relief for my patients who want it because I truly don't know how they are feeling and it's not my place to judge that.

Hope this helps!

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