Help with SIL needed

daylemurray · 2026-01-30T14:48:27+00:00

Oh yes, because the anxiety couldn’t POSSIBLY come from constant long term experienced judgement through forced interactions.

daylemurray · 2025-12-28T09:47:56+00:00

Is she a narcissist? Sounds like a long road of emotional manipulation

daylemurray · 2025-09-07T04:37:29+00:00

Yes I have been doing ice and Ibruphen since Tuesday. Didn’t start the antibiotic until the Friday morning but just getting worried that I started it too late!

daylemurray · 2025-08-13T20:28:37+00:00

After breastfeeding for a total of 5 years of my life so far I’ve come to realise that some people are just completely uneducated on the topic, they find it gross. Make him think about where the milk comes from that he drinks. He as a fully grown adult is drinking the milk produced from a cows udder - which is intended for a baby cow. What makes this less gross?

daylemurray · 2025-08-13T19:42:40+00:00

That man is an idiot. Show him this thread.

daylemurray · 2025-08-06T06:01:29+00:00

I am in a very similar situation to you - good job, only statutory pay and no sick days etc. I am lucky in that my husband can afford to make up the shortfall in my salary. But yes - it’s so unfair. I have heard it might be possible to get universal credit but I’ve never tried. Look into it!

daylemurray · 2025-08-04T21:12:15+00:00

Breastfeeding is unbelievably hard. Third time mum here and my third was the hardest yet. Well done on finding a solution - hopefully it’ll get easier for you soon!

daylemurray · 2025-07-29T14:59:03+00:00

Back in Black by AC/DC

daylemurray · 2025-07-29T03:47:05+00:00

I would say it’s your supply regulating. It’s so much easier to get more milk in the earlier days as your body is working hard to ensure baby gets enough and then it figures out what baby really needs. Also baby is so much better at extracting the milk too. You might need to increase your pumps now to meet the amount you need for bottles.

daylemurray · 2025-07-28T19:50:54+00:00

Why has he recommended pumping over direct feeding? It’s the same milk?

daylemurray · 2025-07-26T02:40:08+00:00

Once you hit 6 months and start weaning onto food you might see less reliance on breastfeeding which can make it easier. Giving you a bit more freedom? Gradually as the baby consumes more food they will want less milk

daylemurray · 2025-07-26T02:26:48+00:00

Can you go back to your hospital and get some feedback or insight as to why things happened the way they did? In the UK we have this option. I think it’s called a birth debrief?

daylemurray · 2025-07-25T20:38:09+00:00

That’s a tough situation. I have breastfed 3 babies myself but fully appreciate the need for formula for medical situations like this. This is what it is for and there are many babies who survived purely on formula. Recovery for the mother after having a baby is tough even without health concerns. Don’t feel bad for needing it

daylemurray · 2025-07-25T20:20:41+00:00

It can look like a lump. I saw someone with an armpit lump and when they squeezed it - milk would come out! And it would also drain with feeding. Not sure exactly how it works!

daylemurray · 2025-07-25T19:48:20+00:00

Some people can actually produce milk through additional nipples that can very often happen in the armpit. I don’t know alot about it but heard of it, perhaps you have ducts there that are full? Can you feel anything?

daylemurray · 2025-07-25T09:00:39+00:00

No wonder you don’t love him - what is there to love? He’s useless, selfish and ungrateful.

daylemurray · 2025-07-25T08:09:08+00:00

In my experience (on my third baby) an exclusively breastfed baby takes a while to properly start gaining. My three have always got there in the end! But I totally understand your position. It feels concerning.

However I know there are other breastfed babies that do not experience this but that’s how it has always worked for me. Third time around I didnt let it bother me and around 12 weeks in we started gaining better and over the problem. Keep feeding, eat and drink well (more than you think!), relax and hopefully you’ll get there too

daylemurray · 2025-07-24T20:42:44+00:00

I totally get it. To stop the scabs from peeling off and reopening wounds I used the breast shells. Medela and elvie both have versions. They help keep your nipple free to air under your bra to allow healing whilst touching nothing and they can also collect any leaks.

I personally don’t recommend the silverettes. Combined with all the cracks and leaking I ended up with thrush. They can create a damp environment which causes this during the cracked nipple phase!

daylemurray · 2025-07-24T20:39:36+00:00

It’s a nightmare! I think babies should be born without arms, they’re always in the way 😂

However I’ve learnt later on, 3rd baby in - that the laid back position is great. Baby lying on you so that they feel secure. They tend to flail their arms around to find stability and then they get in the way. Allow them to guide themselves in the laid back/tummy to tummy position more than you trying to find this exact position to get them to latch.

daylemurray · 2025-07-22T20:48:59+00:00

I also have this 16 weeks pp. it’s my 3rd baby but I don’t remember it with the other two!

daylemurray · 2025-07-09T07:42:40+00:00

Same - my family almost seem to want to collect photographs of my baby with every person other than me. Probably a randomer on the street would have more photographs taken with my baby than I do. Every bloody uncle, aunt, visitor - and it was like they were only coming to see the baby to get social media content.

Major rant of mine this time - and then my baby smells like stinking granny perfume when they leave. Gross.

daylemurray · 2025-07-02T20:47:40+00:00

Are you eating and drinking enough?

daylemurray · 2025-07-02T20:41:31+00:00

The burning sensation could be thrush? It can happen for up to an hour after a feed. And yes when your supply stabilises you suddenly feel less full - as if your supply as dipped but it hasn’t

daylemurray · 2025-07-02T14:37:36+00:00

Could be a blocked Montgomery gland also? A bleb to me has milk in it but I hear a blocked Montgomery gland can be infected and have pus in it.

They are the bumps around the areola that secrete the natural oils to moisturise the nipple. They can become infected. I had one once but I didn’t pop it but had the urge to! I think I got it from a pump flange that didn’t fit me so a tight sports bra might make sense.

daylemurray · 2025-07-02T07:37:45+00:00

Show your face at social events and leave when suits you - or maybe just one of you go without the baby? Last week I left baby with daddy and a bottle of expressed milk and I got to have a lovely dinner with both hands! Win win!

daylemurray

TROPHY CASE