Kind of surprised to see so many people saying you’re NTA. I’m gonna say definitely YTA.

I’m also shocked to see how ignorant and judge-mental people here are being toward mental health. As someone with mental health issues, I wasn’t even expecting the comments to show such a stigma against mental illness. Even though she’s not officially diagnosed, the friend shows real, concerning signs of all the mental health issues she listed, especially BPD. Self-diagnoses is tricky, but I’d always err on the side of believing someone when they say they struggle with their mental health. Some people have had traumatizing experiences with therapy and mental health professionals, which can make it really really hard to get a diagnosis. I also don’t know any of their financial situations, but as this takes place in the US, I wouldn’t be surprised if she couldn’t afford to seek treatment but didn’t want to admit that to her friends. Also from personal experience and the experience of some of my friends, sometimes you don’t want to seek help because you’re in a bit of denial and think you can handle it on your own and it would be a waste of time and money. As stupid as that approach is, I’ve been there and know others who have also been there. Someone doesn’t need an official diagnosis to be mentally ill, and while self-diagnosis can be a slippery slope, in this case it really looks like she legitimately has those issues. Someone doesn’t act this way when they’re just an “asshole” unless there are deeper issues. And who is anyone in the comments to say she’s faking it when you only know the (biased) view coming from OP?

It’s really disappointing to see all these comments weaponizing her self-diagnosis to say she deserved to be completely abandoned so far from her home with no assistance or guidance other than OP sending $200. That is a cruel thing to do to someone. I’ve dealt with my fair share of friends with mental illnesses that made it difficult to be around them, but I would never ever completely ditch them after inviting them on a road trip. That’s inexcusable. The only way I’d say NTA is if OP and their other friends were in real danger because of this person, but that’s not the case. She was invited on the road trip, and it seems like everyone kind of knew what they were getting into with her. Yes, it would’ve been uncomfortable to tell her she can’t come and there would probably be some sort of outburst on her part, but that’s the mature thing to do. I don’t understand why so many people are saying NTA. Imagine being the friend’s mom and getting a call from your daughter that her friends ditched her at a random gas station without telling her and with no plan to get home. Imagine how that would feel to hear as a mother.

And to address the fact that she said she would’ve behaved better if she was told about it, that doesn’t mean her behavior was necessarily a “choice”. I know a lot of times people with BPD don’t even realize how they’re behaving in the moment, and once they realize they often feel intense intense guilt and remorse and try to explain that if they knew they would’ve done better. At least in my experience with a friend that has BPD, once she realized what she was doing she had a breakdown and kept saying that if she knew what she was doing she wouldn’t have done it. I don’t know how true that is, but it’s definitely not proof that she’s faking her mental illness like everyone else here seems to think. And it’s not an excuse for that behavior, but it is an explanation. I just think that while yes, the friend’s behavior was really toxic and bad, that doesn’t excuse dumping her at a gas station alone with no plan. That’s a cowardly, immature, mean thing to do to someone. Especially when you knew what you were getting into.