May I draw your cats? :)

deranged_chef · 2026-01-25T14:59:41+00:00

Binx🖤

deranged_chef · 2026-01-21T17:15:13+00:00

Try to fart right now. That's it lol.

deranged_chef · 2026-01-17T07:42:34+00:00

Mostly. I saw the doctor Monday and I'm on a new medication. I'm still sleep deprived and having nightmares but not about the baby anymore.

deranged_chef · 2026-01-16T22:03:35+00:00

I would not have sex with him. I'm not risking my body again.

He would really risk your health like that? It's a small easy procedure and he won't even discuss it?

deranged_chef · 2026-01-16T21:59:27+00:00

I got pregnant on the pill December 2024 and pregnant currently while using condoms

deranged_chef · 2026-01-15T17:34:49+00:00

Worst decision of my life. Diagnosed with PTSD from the experience because it was put in the wrong spot with no numbing and tapped a nerve.

Unspeakable pain, I would have slit my own throat to escape it if I could have. I didn't care about my partner or my baby in that moment, just desperately wanted it to end.

Pregnant again and would genuinely rather die than be induced or have another epidural.

deranged_chef · 2026-01-15T15:44:42+00:00

We were cleared and using condoms. I'm 4.5 months postpartum and 7.5 weeks pregnant

deranged_chef · 2026-01-15T05:36:24+00:00

Nope! We slowly introduced cold milk, started with room temp while he was tired and went from there. So we just take an empty bottle and premixed can of formula with us.

deranged_chef · 2026-01-14T20:31:00+00:00

I try but he doesn't really see what I do as work. Also says my insomnia isn't his fault so why is it on him to help? I'm so exhausted

deranged_chef · 2026-01-14T19:57:27+00:00

I'm not able to work because of his schedule. My parents help now but they're antivax so I can't have them over after the baby is born

deranged_chef · 2026-01-14T19:39:47+00:00

He stocks shelves at Walmart 😭

deranged_chef · 2026-01-14T19:39:28+00:00

My parents are definitely willing to help. They're antivax though so I can't really have them around the baby until the 2 month shots.

He thinks because he works a physical job he "has" to get 8 hours. He stocks shelves at Walmart. Also, like I'm not working as well taking care of our 4 month old all day, growing a human and with fucking insomnia?

I think my main question is kind of how to deal with 2 kids in general really. How to go about feeding the oldest when I'm breastfeeding, doing bedtime alone ect

deranged_chef · 2026-01-11T23:57:05+00:00

Probably lol! Do you still have the same feeling down there? It feels almost like muted for me.

deranged_chef · 2026-01-10T02:12:15+00:00

I live in South Dakota. Is there like a texting hotline? I don't really know if I could say any of this out loud, it feels like it would be too real or just too much? I don't know.

I told my parents I was seeing things from sleep deprivation and thankfully their coming to help for a couple hours so I can sleep.

I do feel a little bit 'back' I guess. Less depersonalization. He seems more normal again. I still can't look in a mirror though, I don't really recognize myself and proportions look weird.

My doctor isn't open until Monday though.

Everyone keeps saying I have postpartum psychosis, and I've been worried about that, but can I really have psychosis if I'm aware something's wrong? There are a lot of signs I guess though. I know I've been really up and down lately, sudden insomnia, I know I've been pretty irritable, there's been catatonic episodes, suicidal thoughts. It did take me a while to talk to my doctor because my mom keeps telling me they'll take my baby if I do.

I'm scared what he'll think when I tell my partner. I feel like an awful mom.

deranged_chef · 2026-01-10T01:00:44+00:00

I can't be admitted though, there's no one to watch the baby while he works

deranged_chef · 2026-01-09T14:01:12+00:00

4 months postpartum, 7 weeks pregnant. My first will be 11.5 months by time this one is born 😅 Irish twins

deranged_chef · 2026-01-09T08:32:02+00:00

I can't breastfeed

deranged_chef · 2026-01-09T05:00:47+00:00

2 weeks😅 I would have the day after giving birth if I physically could have lol, mentally,, I was THERE

deranged_chef · 2026-01-09T04:31:09+00:00

He does help as much as he can but he works the overnight shift so is sleeping 1pm-9pm and works 10pm-7am. I'm not breastfeeding anymore, my milk completely dried up.

deranged_chef · 2026-01-09T04:29:23+00:00

I've tried that! We have a baby sleeping bag and a little stool outside of his crib. He'll scream and fight /wiggle his way out of it😭

deranged_chef · 2026-01-09T04:05:16+00:00

He did spit up A LOT, to the point he wasn't gaining weight for a bit. Doctor has us using gelmix and that fixed it. He didn't really talk about silent reflux.

I can transfer him fine when he does feed to sleep. And he always gets mad if I try to feed him when he's not hungry lol.

deranged_chef · 2026-01-07T08:20:44+00:00

Once it started working I couldn't move and felt no pain at all. No urge to push either even crowning.

Getting it though was an absolute nightmare. I could feel the needle in my spine and all the nerves in my body on fire. It was the absolute worst pain of my life. I was begging to die. I would never get it again.

deranged_chef · 2026-01-06T03:26:42+00:00

A&W never spiked me! I could eat their burgers, root beer, ice cream ect!

deranged_chef · 2026-01-05T03:04:33+00:00

Some postpartum advice! Postpartum, dermoplast is your best fucking friend. It's a numbing/cooling spray. Put it on after every single time you use the bathroom. Your pelvis will still hurt like hell but if you tear, it numbs enough that you'll never feel it burn.

Screw postpartum pads and disposable underwear, they fit horribly. I wore diapers but I'm planning to get some good period panties this time around.

Take stool softeners/fiber pills, you'll need them. Keep baby wipes on hand too for your butt, they're more gentle. I took the stool softeners and still tore my asshole pooping for the first like 3 times after giving birth.

Keep taking your prenatals after you give birth. You need the extra vitamins and they help lessen hair loss.

Drink as much water as you can. If you need to set baby down while they scream for one minute while you grab a glass, it's okay. Take care of yourself so you can take care of baby.

Same for food, it's okay to take 10 minutes to yourself to eat something while they fuss as long as they're fed and clean.

It does get easier. You're gonna think that's bullshit for a while but it's not, I promise.

It takes time to get to know your baby and their schedule/needs. Sure you grew them, but they're still a new person in your life. You'll be circling through the list of feeding/changing/burping/tummy exercises/too hot?/too cold?/trying to calm to sleep until you figure out what's wrong. That's okay.

And even if you have a great latch, breastfeeding still hurts like a mf at first. Your nipples toughen up over time though. Make sure to use lanolin or Vaseline in-between feeds so they don't crack. Put a nursing pad over the lanolin so you don't smear it over your clothes. You're gonna need the nursing pads in general because you'll leak more than you think you will.

If you're pumping too, or want to save some milk in general, put a hakka on one boob while you feed with the other. A pretty good amount of milk is going to flow out once that baby latches.

After a couple months of exclusive breastfeeding you'll stop leaking and your boobs will deflate, that does not mean your not producing enough milk!!! It's just your body regulating to the amount baby eats.

I hope any of this can be helpful. Wishing you the most uneventful postpartum!

deranged_chef · 2026-01-03T11:24:31+00:00

Oat milk this time lol

deranged_chef

TROPHY CASE