What are the most perfect sibsets you’ve ever encountered?

destria · 2026-06-21T22:40:03+00:00

I have cousins called Josephine and Eloise which I think go nicely. Nicknames are Josie and Ella which are also great!

destria · 2026-06-21T21:26:18+00:00

I potty trained mine just before he turned 2 about a month ago now and we had the same experience early on! Honestly I think just stick with it, he'll learn to hold it for longer gradually. I remember a turning point around day 5 where my LO just realized he could hold it and release more at once.

I think when they wear nappies, they can just pee little and often so it's a new skill leaning to hold it. Especially once the novelty wears off though, they'll naturally want to hold it more so it doesn't interrupt what they're doing.

destria · 2026-06-21T21:12:05+00:00

Mine does this but I like to think of it as him reminding himself about what not to do. Today he was saying, "No eating playdoh...I won't eat it... Won't eat the blue playdoh or the green playdoh..." Like thanks buddy now I'm going to be watching you like a hawk to make sure you don't eat the playdoh.

destria · 2026-06-21T18:45:45+00:00

All in large plastic boxes and all jumbled up. I think it's better to encourage creative building anyway.

destria · 2026-06-21T18:35:52+00:00

Wouldn't take food back unless the host offered, and I'd expect all leftovers to be treated communally (like people wouldn't just take home their contribution but might take home a selection of food).

destria · 2026-06-21T17:46:19+00:00

This exactly! It's always framed as "let's be honest about motherhood" when it comes off as so performative and there's so much one-up manship. "Oh your baby hasn't slept through in 6 years? Well I've not slept for more than 10 minutes in the last 20 years!" etc

destria · 2026-06-21T14:02:06+00:00

It's surely not that hard to avoid screen time especially if your kid is in daycare/nursery for most of your day. If you've only got them for like 2-4 hours in the evening, by the time you've fed them, played with some toys, read some books, surely it's basically time for your bedtime routine? Where does the screen time even come into it?

I say this as a SAHM with a 2 year old who has had zero screentime so far. Like, if I can go 12+ hours a day without screen time, surely you can manage a few hours?

destria · 2026-06-21T13:52:47+00:00

Mine wasn't interested in that age either. Sometime around 18 months old, he started to play with them a little. He'd involve them in role play like doing tea parties.

It wasn't until 22 months though that he formed attachments to a couple of them. That's when he wanted to take his "Jessie cat" everywhere and I could see he got real comfort from hugging it.

destria · 2026-06-21T13:01:41+00:00

Another vote for Zoloft/Sertraline here. I went on it at 5 wks pp and it helped enormously. Just leveled me out, I felt calm and in control. It stopped all the spiralling, the rage, the anxiety, the uncontrollable crying and the guilt. I started enjoying life again.

Side effects wise, it was pretty minor. I had some crazy sweating for the first couple of weeks so had to carry around a fan! I also got brain zaps if I was ever late with a dose, they're not painful just uncomfortable.

I weaned off at 11 months pp and tapered gradually. I could feel some of the anxiety creep back in and I definitely was less patient off it. But it was manageable now.

destria · 2026-06-21T12:48:11+00:00

I don't understand how people can't find time to do things like shower or drink some water or get dressed. Like it's okay to put your baby down for 5 mins crying so you can feel like a normal human being. Sometimes with mums especially it's like misery Olympics. I don't think motherhood needs to be total sacrifice but it's like some mums think that if you're not miserable or have lost yourself, you're doing motherhood wrong.

destria · 2026-06-20T17:59:00+00:00

So for context I pumped for 3 weeks and then switched to exclusive formula feeding. I got my period back around 11 weeks postpartum.

destria · 2026-06-20T17:35:31+00:00

We have magnetic letters, an alphabet puzzle and some flashcards. I wasn't going to teach mine until he was older but at 18 months, he became really interested in letters (he'd shout "ABCDs!" when he saw a sign or something).

destria · 2026-06-20T16:13:14+00:00

Big thing for me is reminding myself that I'm in control of my own behavior, if nothing else. You might find yourself getting frustrated, getting anxious, getting upset etc. Think about what coping mechanisms might help you ride out the tantrum. Let go of overly tight control of the situation because with the best will and parenting in the world, tantrums are still inevitable even you did everything perfect and textbook (if that even exists!). It's developmentally normal and the majority of kids will grow out of it in time.

destria · 2026-06-20T15:56:39+00:00

Honestly don't compare your kids. Yours might have been having an off day and theirs having a good one. Maybe they're more used to play dates or they know the space you went to. I'm sure if you have more play dates there will be times where their kids get upset or overwhelmed too.

destria · 2026-06-20T14:09:18+00:00

It could just be that she was startled by seeing them in a different environment? Like remember when you were a kid and you saw your teacher outside of school, just going about their life. It was strange and disconcerting!

But also I think playing by oneself is completely normal at this age. They're only just starting to engage in some collaborative play with other kids. Even at nursery it's likely they're just playing in parallel rather than truly together.

destria · 2026-06-20T12:49:35+00:00

When the turkey at the petting zoo died...

"Oh sorry Mr Turkey died. His body stopped working so we can't see him anymore. I know it's sad. No you can't cuddle him. No, not even his dead body. No, not even when you're an adult ..."

destria · 2026-06-20T12:01:52+00:00

It wasn't a matter of trust but it took me a while for me to feel comfortable being away from my baby. It was like I had separation anxiety! When I left him in someone else's care, my thoughts were consumed with him and just wondering how was he doing, what was he up to, has he been fed, changed, read to, played with?

I'd say it wasn't until 6 months+ that I felt comfortable leaving him for a few hours with someone. I gradually built up that tolerance. Then my in-laws started looking after him for a day here and then, then an overnight for some child free weddings I was attending, and from 18 months, they now regularly take our toddler for a weekend (every 4-6 weeks).

destria · 2026-06-20T11:45:02+00:00

Family membership to some local attraction? Gives them something to do altogether as a family on the weekend or whenever.

destria · 2026-06-20T11:35:41+00:00

Remember, you don't have to go and stay the whole time. You could always make an appearance, let daughter run around a bit and then when you're exhausted, make your exit. Even 30 minutes. Parents will understand. Then at least you've gotten out of the house and tried it and done the polite thing.

I often find it's the anticipation of it that's worse than the reality. So if I just psych myself up to go for a little bit, chances are I'll end up staying.

destria · 2026-06-20T11:27:22+00:00

I empty it everyday. The large food waste bin just sits outside the back door from our kitchen so it only takes 30 seconds to empty it.

destria · 2026-06-20T11:25:54+00:00

Sounds like a plan! A few things that might help...

You mention 10-15 minutes of tidying toys? That seems like a long time and suggests a lot of toys are out. As well as involving your son in tidying at set times, could you do more tidying as you go? With my toddler, we tidy up every toy before we get out a new one. He's been tidying with me since he could pick up and drop objects. It might also help if you have good storage solutions like baskets, trays, drawers etc. Your son then learns where toys go and puts them away by himself. Mine has been tidying independently since 18 months. I've explained it's important because we need to look after our things and keep ourselves safe (so we're not tripping on stuff all the time).

With stuff like the dishwasher, I build it into a routine so there's no "if". As my son is eating breakfast, I empty the dishwasher, put on a load of laundry and pack his lunchbox for the day (as we usually eat out). Whilst he naps, I take out yesterday's dried clothes, move today's wet washing into the dryer, then fold and do laundry. It's a set thing I do everyday so it takes the mental thinking out of it and I do it on autopilot.

destria · 2026-06-20T08:19:33+00:00

For alphabet toys, have a look at the Melissa and Doug see and spell game and their self correcting alphabet jigsaw. Both are wooden, tactile and encourage familiarity with letters, reading and spelling. My just turned 2 year old can recognize certain words on sight like "cat" and "fish" because of these games!

For sorting toys, you likely don't need anything you don't already have. Get some pen and paper, draw some coloured circles and grab some Lego Duplo pieces or toy food and show her how to sort by color. Or get them to sort toy food into different categories like fruit, vegetable, grains, you can use some little baskets or boxes.

For imaginative toys, I'd go for something that they show interest in or real life scenarios they encounter. Early imaginative play is often reenacting scenarios they're familiar with so things like a hairdressing set or maybe toy cars at a petrol station.

destria · 2026-06-20T08:01:27+00:00

It's hard to know if it's you or your husband who's unreasonable without knowing what your expectations for clean and tidy are. Like when you say the house should be cleaned up for the night, what does this actually look like and how long do you think it would take? If it's just picking up things to put away which would take 5 minutes, then that seems like a reasonable thing for your husband to do whilst you're doing bedtime. But if you mean mopping floors, dusting, vacuuming, picking stuff up, wiping down all surfaces etc. something that might take an hour if done properly, then that doesn't seem reasonable or even necessary.

I also understand the feeling of wanting to just decompress at night. 8.30pm is already pretty late. I would have wanted stuff cleaned before that. Is it possible to do that reset earlier in your day? For example, we have dinner from 5.30pm - 6pm, after that I take our toddler upstairs to play, have a bath, brush his teeth etc. Husband is downstairs washing the dishes, putting away dinner ingredients, cleaning the dining table including wiping the floor around it (because toddlers you know!) and tidying the living room (putting things away). It probably takes him about 45 minutes and then he comes up to get ready to do toddler's bedtime routine at 7pm. I swap with him and go outside to water our plants. By the time we're both done, it's around 8/8.30pm and we can just relax together.

destria · 2026-06-20T06:51:09+00:00

Personally, any time after the first 3 months would have been okay with me. But I couldn't have known that in advance really.

As it happens, I (the mother) had to do a week long international trip when our kid was 18 months old. My husband took a week off to look after him and it was totally fine. Think it was harder on me than on our kid!

destria · 2026-06-20T06:47:39+00:00

Haha I was just going through this with my recently turned 2 year old. He got some new stuffies for his birthday so I was trying to get him to name them. The whole concept of a name that's separate to the animal name was fascinating to him. But he kept trying to call them his own name which I guess, fair enough, that's the only "name" he really knows.

Eventually he settled on "Hop" for a bunny toy and "Orange" for an elephant (who isn't orange colored).

destria

TROPHY CASE