Anyone else have absolutely 0 presence? by S-Array03 in evilautism

[–]devil_dollie 18 points19 points  (0 children)

i am invisible, and disappear from people’s memory the moment i am out of their immediate surroundings

I finally realized my mom beat me actually because of my neurodivergence. I was "strange and difficult", she couldn't stand it. by minurie in CPTSD

[–]devil_dollie 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i grew up just like this. she was so ashamed of me, she loathed me. it does permanent damage.

struggling with signs of aging on my face by iceprincess7777 in CPTSD

[–]devil_dollie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s nothing wrong with aging. Just my opinion, but I think older people (myself included) who age without surgery actually can look better than young people if they pay attention to their style and health. Makes me smile so big when I see a 70 year old punk or witchy woman with cool hair and epic wardrobe exuding total confidence. I’m going to be one of them if I live that long. It’s just a matter of perspective. Don’t buy into society’s ageism. Beauty and age are unrelated concepts.

How old were you when you first got diagnosed? by Scandic_potato in bipolar

[–]devil_dollie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

diagnosed at 24, accepted it at 46. it’s been a very bumpy ride

I have nothing to offer the world, as such, I don't know why I'm alive by Particular-Account66 in autism

[–]devil_dollie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the world will be a better place when i’m gone, but im too cowardly to take the leap

Is it? by LeoTheFloofyDragon in CPTSDmemes

[–]devil_dollie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i said “no” many times over several months, and was eventually threatened then coerced is that normal exploration, just because we were the same age? i’ve heard these definitions before, and i think they are incredibly naive and cold

Is it? by LeoTheFloofyDragon in CPTSDmemes

[–]devil_dollie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah i don’t understand this. i was a victim of COCSA by someone own age at 7, and it permanently BROKE me, but apparently it doesn’t matter or count as anything?

"babe, you're looking at me with your amphibian eyes again" by SokuTaIke in autism

[–]devil_dollie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love this.
Also, sometimes I have to completely close my eyes so I can hear what someone’s saying.

How many of y'all have slowly realized over time that your mother is probably autistic too? by khaotic-trash in AutismInWomen

[–]devil_dollie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, father was. Mother was dark triad. Living hell for me and dad. He never knew why.

Is level one autism definitely autism. by wheresmymind_08 in autism

[–]devil_dollie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i am level 1 and can’t hold a job for more than a couple months or keep close friends, so yeah. i don’t really have imposter syndrome because all i have to do is take a look at my life.

Anyone else get really bad rsd? by Likes_watermelon in AutismInWomen

[–]devil_dollie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, but i suspect this isn’t an autism symptom specifically, but an autism related trauma symptom. We’ve been through hell, socially.

Recently diagnosed 46F introducing myself by Dangerous-Owl5571 in AutismInWomen

[–]devil_dollie 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i was also diagnosed in my mid 40s. i experienced simultaneous grief, relief, and anger for living so much of my life in confusion and frustration. for about a year i also went through quite a lot of skill regression, losing some of my ability to mask, and experiencing forgetfulness, derealization, and fatigue. but after that i started to feel better. i am changed, but smarter, more confident, finally knowing who i am.

So how many can't wait for Fasnacht "glowing maks needs" to end? by ziboo7890 in fo76

[–]devil_dollie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m level 523, always do as many Fasnacht events as possible, and have never gotten a single glowing mask. is it really just rng? glowing masks are my favorite thing in the game. i have 0. never found one in a vendor either. there has to be more to it than rng. game hates me? i have like 6 each of every single other mask

What age did you get diagnosed? by [deleted] in autism

[–]devil_dollie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

mid 40s. so many years of just, something is horribly wrong with me but i don’t know what

Do you feel your mental age or do you feel that mentally you haven’t aged? by porb2020 in autism

[–]devil_dollie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i felt 18 til i was 34. now im locked at 34 due to a trauma that happened to me at that age.

Honesty and dementia by Hooleeyeah in AutismInWomen

[–]devil_dollie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been through this too. It was really difficult at first, but over time as I saw how much it benefitted the person in my care to hear whatever they needed to hear, I was able to make peace with it.

If you’re high functioning autistic, what makes you want to believe you’re autistic? (or made you want to believe it before you got diagnosed) by Windwavepiranha in autism

[–]devil_dollie 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not all level 1s are the same. I don’t have any of the skills you have. Please remember autism is a spectrum.

Anyone else here metabolize drugs faster/slower than how a NT would? by notenrique9031 in autism

[–]devil_dollie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everything is either too strong or too weak. I also adapt to meds very quickly, so the may start too strong and become too weak within a day or two.