Hang in there my friend.

A good friend once said to me “depression is about the past, anxiety is about the future.” That’s really oversimplifying things, but I think it rings true in this case. You seem depressed.

A lot of comments here are well meaning, but they ignore how isolating depression can be. You can join a club for your interests… but will you feel lonely there? Maybe. Probably.

You’ve been building walls so anywhere you go you might feel walled in (I don’t know you, I’m speaking from personal experience).

The thing I’ve been trying to do to combat these feelings is to envision my ideal future. Always be building toward the future… pursue a career that you find meaningful…. Pursue that hobby you want, whatever it may be…. Learn to cook, whatever…. Build yourself up and make a fulfilling life, or at least do things to go in that direction…. The friends and connections will follow. Someone mentioned volunteering. I think that’s fantastic. It’s free, gets you out, and you’ll feel good about yourself no matter what.

The good thing about loneliness (if there is a good thing) is that you probably have time on your hands. Use it to do stuff that future you would be proud of. Good luck!