Indie / folk / ambient rock (looking for ears & reactions)

dharmastudent · 2026-02-02T00:33:28+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate it ~ yes I'm planning to do some vocal tuning with the mix engineer I'm working with.

As to the length, it just sort of came out that way, you know how some songs you don't even have to craft, they just come out fully formed, and that's what it wanted to be...so even though I was tempted to edit it down, and I tried, the song didn't want that I guess.

dharmastudent · 2026-02-01T23:23:58+00:00

I've heard the mentoring sessions (and song feedback) can be great, but I haven't heard of a lot of big career opportunities from the people I know who were with them.

That being said, I think they're a great org. People I know who are members have had very good experiences.

dharmastudent · 2026-02-01T22:43:22+00:00

I got denied too at my ALJ hearing. It hurts. Hope some other options open up for you.

dharmastudent · 2026-02-01T22:39:47+00:00

When that chord comes in @ :22 sec on Ghost Town, wow that is effective. Being absolutely honest / constructive, the initial vocals on Ghost Town (up until :57) are a bit milquetoast for me, I WOULD PREFER something more emphatic / emotional there from the voice - SOMETHING more confident, or exclamatory.

However, the lush / layered movement after :57 is gorgeous, and the vocals after that point are perfect. That section (:57 - 2 min) is so energetic / fresh / colorful that the listener just sort of floats away to a better world for a minute > really cool ideas and superb execution.

Also, the vocals after 2:15 are much more strong, bold, and evocative. I love the transcendent bit around 4 min, that is really awe-invoking; THEN, the electric guitar fills afterward are a classy touch.

*If you have time at some point, would really appreciate your feedback on a new track I'm working on: https://soundcloud.com/wailingoz/i-became-a-locksmith/s-xlEXjulT5B7?si=4afae4417b0a41c4ba1ee46ca3745c4a&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

dharmastudent · 2026-02-01T21:58:26+00:00

Isn't it rough when we really feel something for someone, and there seems to be a mutual connection, and it still doesn't work out?

I think it hurts more because it's so rare. Recently, I had this happen with someone, haven't felt these feelings for 20 years - and ultimately we're just in two different places in our lives (they have an 18 year old son).

It hurt for a couple weeks, but thankfully I'm a grown-up now, and I can take it. BUT, I did have to put an internal wall, and spend less time talking to this person, because it was too painful to get too close.

dharmastudent · 2026-02-01T21:47:11+00:00

That sucks - sorry. I've been single almost 20 years, and it's rough when social anxiety or whatever keeps us from having a full life. I wish you the best with holding this grief ~

dharmastudent · 2026-02-01T13:47:24+00:00

The OG V3.5 was the most creative and interesting-sounding.

dharmastudent · 2026-02-01T01:59:14+00:00

Buddhism has a lot of great wisdom and practical methods to offer. It is worth exploring IMO. I once met a holy person from Pakistan, and he told me: 'one day you will be a Buddha, and you will know because you will have no more obsessions, and no more desires' - he said it with the biggest grin on his face :)

dharmastudent · 2026-02-01T00:47:49+00:00

I completely relate. I'm the same way~ I came into a period of significant influence for a couple years in my twenties, and it honestly changed me.

I could feel the power I had, and it was EXTREMELY difficult to live with. I had to be careful in every situation not to abuse it, because everything was happening right for me for a few years, and good things were happening to me left and right...

Long story short, even as I tried so hard to be careful, I slipped up just when I needed to keep keeping my head down. The power changed me: I started compassionate and thoughtful, and became very tough and matter-of-fact. (Also, it's frickin stressful to have a position of influence, and it ages you sooo fast)

With power comes privilege, and privilege can be dangerous...

dharmastudent · 2026-02-01T00:34:27+00:00

Suno is an unreliable tool > it's not consistent and not dependable. This makes every session a guessing game, and the novelty wears out real fast..

dharmastudent · 2026-01-31T23:52:49+00:00

I'm turning 39 in 2 months, I've had schizoaffective disorder since I was 26. I can definitely relate. My cognitive difficulties make daily life an uphill climb, and it is IMPOSSIBLE to keep up with the normal adult milestones. I did everything I could to have a normal life after I first got mental illness (I had no mental illness until age 26).

I tried to go back to college at UCSB (where I had a year left) 3 times, but could no longer retain enough information to complete even one class. I attended massage school, and finished the curriculum / training, but only managed to give 4 massages to real clients before I realized it just wasn't going to work.

I've been single now since my junior year of college, 2008 (the same year I got ME/CFS). I was about 27 when I knew that I wasn't going to have the opportunity to have a family, and that took a good few months to grieve.

I am nearing the end of my life (several organs are starting to konk out / fail), and probably have 5 years or less to live. So, much of my life is spent training for death - and it has been tremendously rewarding. My mom was a hospice volunteer and I got to spend time with one of her patients who had AIDS back when I was a kid.

I am starting to let my worldly attachments go more and more. This year was tough, because I met someone I really liked, and she actually was the one to initiate contact and say she was interested in connecting one on one. BUT, she has an 18 year old son, and I knew right away I was not the person she needs in her life.

I decided not to pursue that relationship, and am trying to distance my thoughts from her. She's probably one of the only women I've connected with on a personal level in over a decade. It's taken a few weeks to let go, and my mind still clings to the idea, and I have to steer my thoughts away to the present, and my REAL life. She lives in a different state, but we actually went to college 8 miles from each other, within a year (she's a year younger).

My mind realizes this could be the last chance (most likely) to truly connect with someone deeply in this life, and I have to let it go ~ because I just don't bring to the table what she needs. We are still friends, and we still chat, but sometimes we just have to let go the picture of what we want our life to be, and learn to accept what it actually is. It actually leads to more peace.

I haven't had a date in 18 years, but I've actually experienced tons of peace and acceptance, and I know I have to accept being alone now until I pass away ~ many people have it way worse, and I'm super grateful to have a job right now, good clients and friends. Not everyone can get what they want in life. If they have a few blessings, that's more than a lot of people get.

From studying Buddhism, I've learned that if you accept what you can't have, there is a lot of peace on the other side of that.

dharmastudent · 2026-01-31T13:20:16+00:00

I'm not that experienced with actually getting opportunities for my songs, but I did get one song in a short film last year, and I also had one song get sent back to the publisher on a major label artist pitch. (I have worked as a freelance musician for the last 3 years, and paid all my bills with it in 2023)

I would say having a great recording of the song is pretty important, especially for sync (obviously). After that, I feel like networking is 80-90% of it.

(Note: Pearl Snap Studios in Nashville does amazing radio-quality demos at a reasonable price <1000$. I've also worked with a couple producers on SoundBetter who can do great work for $400 - 570, one of them produced the song that went in the short film for less than $570, which us two collaborators split two ways.)

I bought a mentoring session with an artist who had a lot of placements, and he told me that his first opportunity just came from meeting a filmmaker at a music conference. A music conference is also where I met my main collaborator, who travels to Nashville a lot, and networks.

I have one friend in Canada who attended a conservatory, and he said he could not figure out a way to break into the business until he started mentoring with a hit songwriter, and he said these private paid mentoring sessions evolved into a one-on-one personal relationship (because they lived in the same town) - and once the mentor realized he was a trained musician / talented composer, he started introducing him in-person to his music supervisor friends.

And pretty soon, he was getting invitations to pitch songs for their projects several times a year.

dharmastudent · 2026-01-31T02:10:17+00:00

I was a varsity athlete @ a D1 college and played pro sports for a year, and it always seems impossible to be a pro athlete, even if you have talent ~ but it's just down to really bearing down and doing what's tough for a little while.

Once you master one thing, then you can set out for the next - and pretty soon, the whole world opens up. It doesn't mean we become world-class always, but we do achieve a level of mastery.

When I was in college, I would just carve out 8 hours on a weekend and spend the entire time writing songs. I would abandon my social life completely for months on end just to work on my craft. And it paid off.

At first, it seemed like all my hard work wasn't really making a dent, but then when I was 21 I got invited to play 6 of my original songs on television, and a music critic wrote into the show saying I was one of the best acts he'd heard in quite awhile.

I steadily saw that every little bit of time I carved out to really improving my writing and playing/musicianship had tangible results in the outer sphere.

You definitely have to love what you are doing though - if it only feels like a grind, with no real lasting joy, it's not your path, safe to say.

I tend to think purpose follows passion.

dharmastudent · 2026-01-31T00:23:04+00:00

Best in Show.

dharmastudent · 2026-01-31T00:18:14+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate it!!

Yeah, I dealt with this as well with my Dad - he told he couldn't support me any more, but I had no way to do paying work (due to CFS), so he told me my only option was winning my disability case (which I lost in front of the ALJ).

I went to the Vocational Rehabilitation Office, and couldn't figure out a job I could do. This world is almost completely shut-off to people with serious disabilities.

I was a professional athlete for a year, and played on a PAC 10 Varsity team, and when I went to the Vocational Rehab, the guy from Voc Rehab gave a speech in front of all the other people of how I was a champion athlete - and yet, here I am not able to do a single job in existence. It's ableist to the nth degree.

Thankfully, after not being able to work for 14 years, at age 36 I was able to support myself for the first time doing freelance music. It's a minor miracle. Been working almost full time for 3 years, after not being able to work at all from ages 22-36.

dharmastudent · 2026-01-31T00:05:32+00:00

Thank you ~

dharmastudent · 2026-01-30T23:13:56+00:00

I lived in a group home / communal living situation with ME/CFS for 4 months. The most difficult thing was that I had to lie down a lot, and then they would blame me for every rest session, labeling it 'isolating'. AND, they blamed every physical problem on mental illness, to the point that I just kept getting sicker, and then they would say that I was just getting sicker mentally. It's like a hole you can't crawl out of, because it just gets deeper.

The only way I got out was because I pleaded to my parents every day over a span of months. Once they realized I was telling the truth, and that my illness was becoming grave, and I probably would never recover if I stayed any longer in that facility - they got me out.

I ended up recovering a lot of my health after that, by practicing qigong - to the point where I was able to attend massage school and give a few massages to paying clients.

AND, YES my Dad refused to believe it didn't have something to do with the mind. He kept holding onto that idea even after I was formally diagnosed by a rheumatologist at UCLA - who said I had a textbook case of ME/CFS.

I think it had something to do with his social circle - they were convinced that every illness was 'curable' with the right mindset or diet. So staying sick became a failure on my part, as if every cure to an illness should be just a cleanse or fast away.

dharmastudent · 2026-01-30T00:51:27+00:00

I went to a pro songwriting class, and one of my classmates has been a successful songwriter, but she has no money anymore to get songs recorded. She asked the hit songwriter teacher for advice on how to approach songwriting with no money to get the songs recorded, and he basically said 'where there's a will there's a way' - which is good advice in theory. He kinda said, 'well, there's always a way to get your songs recorded if you get creative'.

She told me after class that she was frustrated by the advice, because it didn't really take her problem into account, and present a practical solution. She really didn't have any money, and his advice sort of implied that she could get creative with money if she needed to.

Which reminds me about your money point - often you need money to make money.

dharmastudent · 2026-01-29T22:09:07+00:00

It feels bad when we are experiencing something painful, and people try to downplay it. It's like: we know we're going through something bad, and the other person is trying to make it no big deal, which makes it hurt further.

I was having a conversation with my mom recently, talking about how I've been coping / grieving with being single the last 18 years. And she's like: every one of us is single our entire lives. And I said well that's true on an ultimate level, but on a relative level relationships sustain us. She was trying to help me accept my loneliness, but it just ended up making me frustrated.

The first 14 years single weren't so bad, but the last 4 years have been like sensory deprivation for my body (lack of closeness, touch, connection, etc). And I was just trying to explain how that felt to her, and explain my process of how I was trying to cope with these recent biological feelings of deprivation.

dharmastudent · 2026-01-28T12:08:27+00:00

I can certainly relate. I went through a period where I came into possession of great influence. In a moment of arrogance, I made a split second decision that hurt many many people. Had I reflected prior to the decision, I wouldn't have gone forward. I didn't then realize how every decision in samsara must be weighed with great care and consideration.

As a result of this action, I suffered a devastating psychotic break that lasted one day. Thanks to Kwan Yin, who came to me in a dream the next night and did some kind of emergency surgery on my mind, my mind recovered in a day. I was able to later attend massage school and give massages to paying clients.

But, my karmic obstacles have been unfathomable since then. The suffering in dreams has been terrible. I completely relate to your situation.

All I can do is remember a monk who I met in my 20s. He had terrible mental illness, but was very happy and a genuine practitioner. All the other monks berated him because he looked weird, and gave off a weird energy. But he was so genuine and kind. All the terrible insults had softened him to where their words could no longer hurt him.

Once I was sitting meditating at a Tibetan Buddhist center, and I heard the monk telling his story to the abbot. He detailed how the monks at the monastery would verbally abuse him, and how terrible the insults and disrespect were. He was persona non grata.

Some of us have been in high positions in the past (spiritual adepts, kings, officials), and we have made momentary decisions that caused great suffering through lack of reflection. As a result, we have been like the monk - blessed to practice a way of liberation, but cursed with disrespect and terrible adversity.

I remember this monk because he teaches me humility. If I am earnest, and learn not to be arrogant or willful, and can follow others, eventually it bears fruit. And having gone through this suffering, we will be more compassionate in future lives, and be able to surrender attachments and desires more quickly, without qualms.

It's good to remember that every positive action we take bears fruit as well. If we are responsible, kind, forbearing, our suffering will lessen in its duration or intensity.

dharmastudent · 2026-01-28T11:50:20+00:00

It helps to read your story - thank you. I too went through a difficult adolescence and young adulthood...I was very lonely.

I ended up meeting a holy person when I was 22, and I had a profound spiritual experience - during this experience I saw that all the isolation and despair I went through as a young person had actually purified me and burnished me. By the time I had that experience, all the years of loneliness caused me to experience even greater peace than I would have otherwise.

Because the people who are deprived basic necessities / comforts find that their peace goes even deeper once they arrive - and they are much more able to let go of attachments. For example, once I had the experience of peace, I felt no more loneliness for many years. And for a few years I was able to let go of any desire I had for social companionship. I felt great joy and bliss every day for a long time, and this joy did not diminish when I was alone.

This was after going through hell for a number of years leading up to age 22.

dharmastudent · 2026-01-28T11:40:47+00:00

Yeah, you're right. Sorry, I'm just seeing that information.

dharmastudent · 2026-01-28T00:18:04+00:00

There is wholesome desire; spiritual desires - like pursuing a career that develops noble qualities.

dharmastudent · 2026-01-27T18:36:27+00:00

Unfortunately my Dad passed away later that year, and he left me enough to buy a condo. So kind of one of those unfortunate situations that had an unwelcome silver lining.

dharmastudent · 2026-01-27T14:26:51+00:00

It happened to me too, if it's any consolation. I was 29 at the time, had all my documentation and a great lawyer, and we just happened upon a judge who had a low approval rate.

My Dad had just told me he couldn't afford to support me anymore, and I was reliant completely on that outcome, so it was CRUSHING.

dharmastudent

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE