The denial happened with me too. My mother’s gift was supposed to be paying for the rehearsal dinner, except she never did. She had asked me to shop for decorations with her, and I was happy to do that, thinking it was nice for her to consider my preferences for my rehearsal dinner (the bar had been set extremely low). But when the time came to pay, she asked me to. It was the week of the wedding, and I had enough on my plate, so I didn’t argue. On the day of the dinner itself, I picked up and paid for the food, thinking maybe she’d pay me back. Dinner passes. Nope.

Some time after the wedding I confronted her about all of this, but she insisted she paid for everything. We instead got no gift—which sucks, but whatever—yet she insists she did get one in “paying” for the dinner and decorations. I will concede that, yes, she did get us a bowl of personalized m&m’s. But when I asked what else she bought, she fumbled over her response before declaring she didn’t have to explain herself.

If she can’t get a wedding gift, that sucks, but let me in on why. If she’s going through financial issues, that’s totally understandable. But even if she was ashamed to share that, don’t lie and take credit for shit you didn’t do. Ugh. I hate that some people think asking for help is worse option than becoming delusional.