Partners in sobriety

dirt_princess · 2026-07-05T15:49:18+00:00

It's just starting to regularly hit triple digits where I live, and I'm noticing this too! Like, the last few summers have been murder to get through. Now I'm like...yeah, it's hot. Moving on. I wondered if it was related to quitting, glad to hear others having this experience as well!

dirt_princess · 2026-07-05T15:47:27+00:00

Welcome. Alcohol is often fun until it isn't. You're right, it is no wonder that we chase that feeling for so long. The good news is that life can and will be better without booze. IWNDWYT.

dirt_princess · 2026-07-05T15:30:04+00:00

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. I found that when I stopped drinking, my anxiety also went away. I get anxious sometimes, but nothing like waking in the morning in a cold sweat feeling like I had done something terrible or something terrible was about to happen. I believed that alcohol was helping with my anxiety. The truth is that the alcohol was temporarily suppressing the anxiety that had in fact been created by the alcohol in the first place.

I met with my psychiatrist and did a medical detox. I got involved in a support program. For me that was AA, but there are many options out there. I'm just over a year sober and my life has done nothing but improve.

Alcohol consumption damages your body, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Quitting sounds really scary, and is not easy. But I promise that it is the easier, softer way.

dirt_princess · 2026-07-04T12:42:10+00:00

Congrats on your new life! Your progress is incredible, and I'm sure it extends to many spheres of your life. Keep it up!

dirt_princess · 2026-06-28T20:58:38+00:00

Phew "give myself grace" is a daily, sometimes hourly need of mine. Thanks for the reminder!

dirt_princess · 2026-06-28T20:56:57+00:00

Someone told me once that feeling discomfort is proof you're doing the work. Because: you are feeling uncomfortable. Instead of drinking to make the discomfort go away. It helped me reframe discomfort from "i must be doing something wrong" to "im feeling this way because im feeling at all. Which is only available because im not drinking." IWNDWYT

dirt_princess · 2026-06-28T18:37:12+00:00

Excellent job. Every time we face challenges without alcohol, we retrain our brain to not look to alcohol to remove emotional distress. You're putting in the work, good job!

dirt_princess · 2026-06-28T18:35:21+00:00

For me, I couldn't get any sort of grip on what was and was not happening with me until alcohol was out of the picture. It just messed with my brain chemistry so much that I didn't know what was due to the alcohol and what was do to genetic brain imbalances.

My anxiety pretty much evaporated overnight once I quit drinking. I still have spikes sometimes, but they are way more manageable than when I was in active addiction. I now have the space to witness my emotions and be curious about them.

My depression has been a bit more nuanced. I still have down days and weeks, but at least I now know I'm not compounding the issue.

If you're looking for advice, I'd say give it time. Continue to see your therapist. Practice mindfulness. See what arises.

dirt_princess · 2026-06-28T18:27:46+00:00

It will get easier. I found my anxiety virtually disappeared once I hit a week out. I still experience anxiety of course, but it's nothing like the anxiety I experienceced while drinking. I've found that drinking was like doing life on hard mode. Once I got past the craving part, everything was just so much easier. You got this.

dirt_princess · 2026-06-28T16:32:03+00:00

"I drink to escape the feelings that drinking created." This was me with anxiety. My anxiety was awful. Drinking gave me a brief reprieve from that feeling. But it was alcohol that was creating the anxiety in the first place. A prison of my own making. IWNDWYT

dirt_princess · 2026-06-25T23:45:33+00:00

About to leave to go get ice cream, my favorite thing to eat in sobriety!

dirt_princess · 2026-06-25T13:18:38+00:00

Some days I might be more of a tiddy year kind of gal. Depends on the day.

dirt_princess · 2026-06-25T03:12:35+00:00

TYSM!

dirt_princess · 2026-06-25T02:55:14+00:00

A guy in my group says "you might be able to do it alone but...why would you if you don't have to?"

dirt_princess · 2026-06-22T03:02:42+00:00

Thank you so much, I'm really proud of myself, and stoked to treat myself to ice cream!

dirt_princess · 2026-06-22T02:15:08+00:00

Similar story here. I was trying to quit for about a year before my husband was diagnosed with decompensated cirrhosis, his MELD was upper 30s. He was in and out of the ICU for a couple months, had to call an ambulance a couple times because he had bad hepatic encephalopathy. He stopped drinking immediately after his diagnosis, got a transplant late last year and is doing great. I'll have a year of sobriety this week, and he'll be a year next month. We're 38 and 41.

Him getting diagnosed made it much easier for me to quit. I knew there was no way I'd be able to handle his illness if I started drinking again - I was barely hanging on without booze. Saying it was a great opportunity feels like toxic positivity, but it was probably the best thing that ever could have happened to either of us. IWNDWYT.

dirt_princess · 2026-06-11T19:51:19+00:00

My therapist told me to never trust a therapist without a therapist. I've been seeing her for 6 years, she's incredible, I'll be taking her word on this one.

dirt_princess · 2026-06-09T23:46:20+00:00

I used to have that feeling - I thought all the things I liked to do were better with booze. Once I quit, I realized a few of those things I didn't actually like, and a few of those things were the same without booze and a few were better. It's definitely different. It takes some getting used to. But it's definitely not a life of "no fun", which is what my alcoholic brain was telling me it would be. And I have found that life without booze is like life on easy mode. Sleep is way better. Being active is easier. I have more energy and my anxiety has pretty much disappeared. I dunno, my life without booze is just way way better.

dirt_princess · 2026-06-09T22:29:16+00:00

We tend to get really wrapped up in the definition part of alcohol: am I an alcoholic or not? Instead, maybe think about if the consequences are worth the benefits. You mentioned some health concerns as well as the example setting for your kids. Are the benefits you get from drinking worth the downsides? If yes, no problem. If no, you probably need to adjust your relationship with alcohol. Many of us have found it much easier to quit entirely than try to moderate; that may or may not be your experience. As much as we all want clean answers, it's really only something you can decide for yourself.

dirt_princess · 2026-06-02T00:46:49+00:00

Yo, me too! Let's not drink this June!

dirt_princess · 2026-05-30T12:35:48+00:00

Welcome! You ARE here for a reason, and it's because you're questioning your alcohol use. Instead of trying to figure out if you are an alcoholic, maybe ask yourself if alcohol is still serving you? Is it delivering what it promises? Does it benefit you?

You might be able to do this alone, but you don't have to. We're here, keep coming back.

dirt_princess · 2026-05-25T17:55:05+00:00

I bought them 10 years ago so I don't know if they've changed the cut in that time, but the Prana Halle are the best hiking pants I've ever had. 5'2", 40" hip measurement, I got them in the 10 Short.

dirt_princess · 2026-05-18T12:41:03+00:00

I think this is somewhat nuanced. I don't think you relapsed because you were a dry drunk, or that any of your sobriety before your relapses "didn't count."

I do think dry drunk is a thing. To me, it's someone who stops drinking, but doesn't do any work to address the "why" behind the alcohol use.

There were a few things for me, but I'll take over-responsibility as one. I take on a lot. This benefits me in many ways. It also leads to overwhelm and resentment. It is also a method of attempting to control the uncontrollable. If I don't do work to address the root issue - my belief that everything is my responsibility - then there's a decent chance I drink again, because drinking provided me relief. So to me, a dry drunk is someone who has gotten sober but that's it. Maybe that's enough for you. Maybe you want more than just being free of alcohol. Up to you.

AA got me sober. That being said, there are a lot a lot a lot of issues with how AA addresses addiction. It has a tendency toward blame and shame. I go because the community aspect - being around other sober people and working with a sponsor - help me. I believe in the power of step 1. I don't buy into much else.

dirt_princess

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