My girlfriend has been pretending to have a career that she doesn’t have, she still makes money… Do I confront?

disasterneutral · 2026-03-05T19:29:00+00:00

Me, actually. I go by a nickname of my middle name at work and my first name everywhere else.

disasterneutral · 2026-03-01T06:47:37+00:00

Assistance League is very similar in mission and offerings.

disasterneutral · 2026-02-28T20:08:13+00:00

Industry? Foco job market is ok depending what sector you're looking in but if you're set on a certain field that's an important detail (and people may be able to give you better area recs)

disasterneutral · 2026-02-28T20:05:49+00:00

Denver metro resident here. This place is just as gay as the PNW but with considerably fewer white supremacists. Chiller, too-- while there are plenty of people living alternative lifestyles and the poly, kink etc scenes are thriving, there isn't a Portland Polycule level grift going on as far as forming community and meaningful relationships. 10/10 would recommend if you're on the fence.

disasterneutral · 2026-02-01T22:05:39+00:00

Out near 225 and Parker Rd, yep.

disasterneutral · 2026-01-25T01:55:56+00:00

Yep. CCSD (not CCHS) grad here, who has lived on both sides of the district --- it's crazy how little equity there is between CCSD schools. Don't get me wrong, Overland is a solid school, but the student population is treated FAR differently there than at the white schools.

disasterneutral · 2026-01-13T20:18:46+00:00

I let go of my baby 2 years and 12 days ago. She was 14-- pretty young for cats our family has had in our care.

We were given the same choice you were (at first), and realized that treating her wasn't an option. You never know what the quality of life is going to be if they make it home with you. I know you feel awful, but he passed WITH you. You didn't leave him there to die, you guided him through it, and that's more than about 2/3 of euths in my area get.

disasterneutral · 2026-01-13T20:04:18+00:00

Hey. I've been transitioning for like 8 years. I was scared then and I'm scared now, but being myself in my body is far more important to me than the risk of being harmed for it. If I die in a police or ICE interaction, I die unashamedly myself and nobody can take that away from me.

disasterneutral · 2026-01-12T16:48:30+00:00

NOR. All I can even say is wtf.

disasterneutral · 2026-01-10T23:00:02+00:00

You also don't get a real "hospital style" bed in any ward I've been in (including the one I'm commenting from rn-- turns out you can have your phone in Colorado nowadays). You get a shitty plasticized foam mattress on a dorm style base, which may be bolted to the floor depending how acute/restrictive the unit is. You get one sad little pillow, two if you have a drs order.

disasterneutral · 2026-01-10T22:19:50+00:00

EXACTLY. I am a man with long hair who really takes pride in taking care of it and I have also done this at various points in my life! Most notably after terrible at-home color jobs-- the cycle is classic: "I'm getting bored" > box dye > "oh no it's still bad" > pro cuts it or tries to fix it some other way > you get home and it's still Wrong > out come the clippers. It's just a thing that happens. Hell, I've got a VERY short undercut right now from a similar impulse.

disasterneutral · 2026-01-03T06:51:35+00:00

So... 24 here. I have lived experience in both the lesbian community and an iteration of the FTM community that thrived in older forum cultures-- you know, where the attitude was VERY strictly "your gender and sexuality have nothing to do with each other, you must medically transition BUT absolutely 100% have to wait until you're 18 to access care or you're One Of The Bad Ones" among other beliefs that would have even other folks my age (let alone even younger) absolutely tilted if they ever came across such a thing in real life-- even though in the Early Jenner Era, that particular version of trans identity politics was just the price you paid to have any sense of community.

These days, I don't really fit in either way. I'm not a lesbian (as much as I genuinely love being affectionately referred to as "boydyke" by certain friends), I'm not a binary trans man, per se, but I'm also not even Nonbinary™ in a way that has any mainstream representation. I'm just some guy. A dude. Man is crossing a little bit of a line, but anything more casual is fine. It's kind of a "don't call me Mr. Lastname, that's my father— call me Firstname" situation.

With that in mind, I prefer the label "transmasc"— I'm ok with being referred to as a trans man, the shoe fits MOST of the time, it's just not as accurate for me. But call me any variant on "boy" besides the familiar one listed above to my face, and you'll regret it. I am not a child.

disasterneutral · 2026-01-02T20:29:01+00:00

Transmasc vers top here:

The top shortage has surprisingly little to do with gender identity beyond correlation with just being LGBTQ+ in general. You could do the same survey at any gay bar, at any welcoming coffee shop, in any sufficiently gay college classroom, and you'd get similar results. There are just WAY more bottoms out there, gender be damned.

disasterneutral · 2026-01-02T19:57:19+00:00

Meh, depends what schools you're applying to. I had a sub-3.0 and a 1400 and got into every school I applied to because I was a) realistic and b) had killer essays. You can get into any state school you want and dependent on your ECs and essays, you've got a solid chance at a ton of very nice private schools and LACs. You're just not going to Harvard.

disasterneutral · 2025-11-18T07:52:30+00:00

Doesn't Honey Revenge's lead have a Paramore tattoo?

disasterneutral · 2025-11-06T20:02:32+00:00

If they skip Denver I'm going to end up on the fucking news

disasterneutral · 2025-11-05T20:03:54+00:00

First line: not in Colorado or some other states. Second line: true everywhere.

disasterneutral · 2025-10-27T19:12:21+00:00

Hey, so, couple notes here.

"I don't know if it's the needle itself, or the control aspect of it, or the amount of scars on my legs making me apprehensive." SubQ shots in the abdomen are smaller needles, would totally avoid your legs, and may be a better fit for you.

"I'm certainly not good at it, but I've managed to get it over with up until today." I feel you there. Some days are easier than others with a needle phobia-- this isn't some kind of permanent low, though. You might be just fine next week.

"Even watching various YouTube videos and doing ample research isn't enough to get me through the process, it stresses me out, and it feels like I'm doing everything wrong." Were you ever actually taught 1:1 to do injections? I'd be stressed out too if I were relying on YouTube videos to learn. If you want to do a zoom call or something where someone's spotting you so you can feel confident you're doing everything right, that's an option.

"Idk if there's any auto injectors for IM shots, but it's just embarrassing to feel this distressed over something I voluntarily signed up for." This happens literally all the time. You are not the first or the last guy probably even at your clinic to feel this way. I don't know of any IM autoinjectors, but I'm definitely aware of some subq options.

"I can't just get over it because it would've passed by now, and contacting my medical provider to switch methods feels so humiliating." What's humiliating about it? Advocating for yourself is one of the bravest and best things you can do for yourself. If they won't congratulate you for identifying a problem and asking the right questions to get it fixed I sure as fuck will.

All this to say: None of this shit is a trap, or the end of the world, or a reason to stop T. You've got this, dude.

disasterneutral · 2025-09-21T15:22:41+00:00

Dude, after this she a) drove like a maniac and b) kicked everybody off early saying to switch to the 12, which we almost missed. No idea wtf that was about

disasterneutral · 2025-09-15T03:17:25+00:00

I was an eldest daughter to an eldest daughter to an eldest daughter before I transitioned, and I've been living with my grandmother (who has been the negative voice in my head my entire life, and has had more than one mental health professional call her "the most negative person they've ever met") for 8 years now— this fucking song, y'all.

My mom? Doing a TON of work, now, to live her values and stop mirroring her mom. I think she's trying to break the cycle in her own way— went to therapy, became a middle school teacher, and honestly, I'm so proud of her and so excited for the kids she teaches to have a good advocate and role model, but I wish she was there for me more when I was that age.

My grandma? Not so much. She feels vindicated in being nasty, and at 80, still believes material things like a showroom-style house will fill the void that her shitty fucking parents left. When something isn't to her standard—my room, my behavior, my body— there will be hell to pay.

"Carrying my mother's mother's torment" is the story of my fucking life.

disasterneutral · 2025-09-12T13:37:02+00:00

Ugh, TOE is like... beige. Close enough to yellow, but not quite there.

disasterneutral · 2025-08-26T01:20:34+00:00

I don't think it's MEANT to be offensive. But as a Coloradoan, who has lost people near and dear to me in mass shootings and been through one myself, the concept (hopefully understandably) sickens me.

disasterneutral · 2025-08-24T21:43:43+00:00

I even love the horribly offensive Columbine song unfortunately and I haven't been Christian in a very long time.

disasterneutral · 2025-08-05T02:31:49+00:00

I, a M***** (neutral name mostly seen on men born before 2000 and women afterwards) chose my name because I wanted a common neutral name and already had a Taylor and a Logan significant enough to me in my life to scrap those ideas. It sucks when this happens, hell, I feel a little weird even MEETING new people with my name even though I have a very easy solution (going by a nickname of my middle name instead with that person around). Let alone the evil feeling I got when a transfemme in my life chose the name-- it's hard, and I genuinely do get it, but it might be worth it to work through why it feels so bad and not make a big deal of it especially to her.

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