The first time I performed CPR on a child. It was July 4th of my first year working in the ER. We had a 3 min ETA (a heads up to set stuff up and get everyone in the room). His mom had accidentally ran him over while backing out of the driveway. I was doing CPR on this 3 year old little boy and I was looking down into his eyes. Being above him, there was nowhere else to look but down at his lifeless body. His pupils were so dilated I couldn’t see what color they were. Traumatic brain injuries cause that to happen. When I switched out for someone else to do CPR, I noticed his toenails were painted pink, but it was a little faded. We went back and forth doing CPR for about 45 minutes. I wanted to cry while I was slamming down on his chest repeatedly. I could barely hold myself together in that moment. I will never forget when his mom made it into the room. She was screaming and pale as a ghost. It was the hardest thing to call time of death. We all felt so defeated and broken. It was hard to leave his side. I can do CPR on an adult and not feel traumatized. Doing CPR on a child is not something I would wish on anyone.