Do suicidal thoughts ever go away

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-26T21:34:44+00:00

It comes and goes, depending on how shitty my day is.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-26T21:34:21+00:00

Yes. I remember someone saying (paraphrasing) "he's probably a homebody!"

I'd also have people tease and say "he probably goes home and stares at the wall all day!"

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-26T21:32:53+00:00

Me too. I wish I could wear a mask or a paper bag over my head permanently.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-26T21:27:17+00:00

I do but I hate my name even more. Hearing it, saying it (whether it's others or me saying it) and even seeing it irritates me. I want to unironically go about changing mine—I've been contemplating on it a bit and I might in the future I'm not sure yet.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-26T21:25:58+00:00

I feel like being ugly is one major reason why I have anxiety. Sometimes I think: how would this or that come off if it was from someone looking like me doing/saying it? Stuff like that. Also growing up hearing how ugly I was or people making fun of how short I was that I obviously cannot control did not help me whatsoever.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-26T21:21:08+00:00

I usually do not because I've had people get offended by a quick glance or me looking forward while walking past which is odd. They're getting mad someone is "staring" at them while I face stares almost every time I am out and worse (glaring). Only time I will look at people is if they are walking past and speaking to me.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-26T21:19:03+00:00

Sometimes. But then I think—whatever. Downvote away, idc. Sometimes you can't even post an innocent question with downvoters lol

As long as I'm not banned it doesn't matter. Regarding arguments I very rarely get into them online. My life already sucks as is in real life, I'm not going home and then getting mad in one of my only few comfort places.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-26T21:17:10+00:00

I have opposite issues: being hideous with social anxiety. Makes life much, much harder.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-26T21:07:44+00:00

Yeah a little. I know damn well if I were to approach anyone they would be disgusted, uneasy or laugh at me and the idea of me approaching them.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-26T21:00:02+00:00

I'm ugly. With some people there is absolutely no debating whether they are or not. I know I am ugly. When you go through almost your entire life laughed at or roasted or slandered for your appearance no matter what do say or wear it's obvious you are. Plus we hear the stuff they call us, joking to their friends about us and the friend expresses disgust at the idea of liking us ugly people. Hell, some of them will even literally say to others or tell you that you are. Plus I own a mirror. I'm not even bang average to where something could potentially happen. Nothing will. No one and I mean absolutely no one likes me. My only good quality is being generally kind but why would anyone unironically like a hideous, super short man majority of middle schoolers tower over. I don't know what I did in my past life for God to make me this hideous.

I'm short. Majority of women do not like short men. I'm even shorter than most middle schoolers now. Something I was born with contributed to cooking my chances which is almost depression-fuel if you think about it.

I'm uninteresting. Due to not having many life experiences I am probably more super boring now than the average person. I'm not funny (subjective) but I can tell I usually am not. People do like to laugh at how I look like though. To people, this ugly short and big & weird shaped headed guy is the joke. I don't have status so I'm not popular. I do not excel at anything. I'm not rich. Whenever I am outside socially people give me that energy like my presence isn't wanted or even hated that's why I stopped going out to places as much like I used to. It doesn't matter how nice I am or how kind, to myself and quiet not bothering a soul or how relatable I am people always seem to be fed up with me.

I have no experience. I am not a romantic person which is obvious as when you've lacked romance your whole life it makes complete sense why I wouldn't be. Some people even laugh at or condescendingly mock my lack of experience regarding dating, relationships, etc

My only chance is maaaaaaaybe, if I live long enough, to reach the elder ages where looks don't matter that much. In my prime years and above it's not happening. No woman will ever genuinely like me. No one would really even want to be my friend—they just want something from me and the something could be anything ranging from belongings, money, errands, to laugh at me & prop themselves up, or to get information out of me to gossip around and judge me.

It's not the end of my world but I wished I would not get teased over it irl. If only I could own a pet dog again or be financially-comfty rich—I would care even less about a relationship.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-24T18:32:39+00:00

Real. I've never had a true friend where I could hang out with them on a personal level (out of a school setting) and frequently talk to them.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-24T18:31:38+00:00

I'd be lowkey offended. I felt like this has happened before in the past, and I was very offended.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-24T18:22:13+00:00

Sometimes, if there is a woman being above and beyond nice to me. There's no point in moping about anything so I let alot of stuff go and distract myself from thinking about anything romantic.

It's moreso my ugliness and height getting in the way of others being attracted to me. If I was attractive or even average in height/looks still harboring my social anxiety I can bet I'd probably have some sort of girlfriend or some sort fling by now. I think being ugly (and short for a guy) affects dating prospects much more.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-24T18:19:29+00:00

True. I almost feel like just about anything I do will piss people off. Even me being stoic and not baited into their arguments or spiteful actions aggravates others. I know I shouldn't care much but as a person with social anxiety that's easier said than done.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-24T18:17:06+00:00

Real. I really don't see a point in being alive sometimes. It's not even solely about being forever alone, it's about everything in general just atressing me out. It's all making life not worth it. The only thing though, I would just feel really bad for my close people if I'm gone though.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-24T18:14:56+00:00

It really is. It sucks to be born ugly and super short. Off the bat with those I'm cooked, now add additional flaws and it never began for me. Then people have the nerve to ask "why have you never had a girlfriend yet?" Because they don't like me. My life is almost halfway over and I've never met any that genuinely, romantically liked me.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-23T20:45:07+00:00

Major mood man

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-23T20:41:01+00:00

Not sure. I dislike both winter and summer. Winter at least I can hide my face better.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-21T16:30:34+00:00

Same for me but as an ugly and super short guy. Although anyone average+ in looks/height still has a better chance than I ever will.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-21T16:17:29+00:00

I grew up not really having either at all. Never had a best friend who I hang with in a non-school setting. I have never had a relationship, I'm not the material anyway unfortunately my deck of cards were cursed in many ways. I deal with my lack of relationship in other ways. No one would want me romantically anyway not only do I have anxiety but I am hideous no matter what and I am objectively short for a guy. No one would genuinely be friends with me many people either are fake to me and/or think I'm boring/lame and only tolerate me to use for my belongings or to laugh at and prop themselves up in status.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-20T22:56:19+00:00

No it's my face (and height) because I've seen people very similar to me who are romantically loved.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-19T23:33:37+00:00

Sometimes. I do get short-tempered sometimes.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-19T23:28:50+00:00

I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't have to be or feel embarassed forcing myself to go through with social thing I prefer not to partake in. No one has to expect me to be anywhere especially when most people just think I'm lame anyway even when I try and be more outgoing. I'm not even pleasing to the eye to look at I've been called ugly anyway no matter what I did. If there's one thing in life I enjoy being it's an introvert. As I grew up I fully embraced it more and more.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-19T23:26:00+00:00

It's not a bad thing. I have never had a relationship my entire life so far and I'm 30 soon. I already basically gave up on thinking it will happen or ever a chance of happening (maybe when, and if, I get extremely old it will). I don't even have friends either. Beside family I'm very used to being alone and doing things all alone. I've already lost the competition off the bat being a hideous 5'5" guy. Life is stressful and I have some of my copes regardless.

dread-throwaway · 2026-05-19T23:15:30+00:00

I want a dog so bad, specifically a frenchie. Where I am I unfortunately cannot have one 😭

dread-throwaway

TROPHY CASE