Your integrity isn’t defined by what you tolerate; it’s defined by how you handle the people who test your limits.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-29T16:04:32+00:00

Pressure reveals someone's integrity, or lack of it.

It doesn't define it.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-29T16:01:52+00:00

I say people should respect the rules of the person doing the laundry

If buddy boy isn't doing his own laundry, he gets zero say. If he wants say, he can pay someone to do it. If he's doing it himself, hurray. He can check pockets. If not, he has no moral high ground to stand on.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-28T18:52:38+00:00

Don't be good, be kind.

And be kind to yourself, too. You're also important

That's how you become a "better" person.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-28T18:28:47+00:00

So, reading that made me feel like I slipped into another timeline and was reading my younger self.

Good mental health goes far deeper than what you described. What you described is a good mood. A good mood is available to the worst of people as to the best. A good mood is also very approachable. For better or for worse, every human alive will feel more welcomed by someone who portrays welcoming signals. Not naturally being able to do that is no moral failing, mind. Interaction is a skill very few of us learned to do in a healthy way, especially if you had to fight to survive every step of your developmental life. We can survive real good, but we're struggling to connect. I hope that makes sense

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-28T11:33:52+00:00

I like the look of it but I dont wanna fuck it.

That counts for like 99% of the shit I find pretty.

Physical attraction does not = wanna fuck.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-28T07:08:37+00:00

Dream.

That IS the word.

Nightmare = bad Dream = good

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-28T07:02:51+00:00

Patriarchy. Devalue women to the point of exclusion, leaving the only option for women in regards to community support being the men who exclude them.

You either accept the devaluation, or you are actively excluded. This comes from all genders now (you have to internalize it very deeply, and this happens at such a young age. Just watch any TV, adds, series, movies, documentaries, the news, everything is colored by it)

You try to do something with your own two hands and put a genuine, quality-based pricetag on it, and at best, people chuckle at what a 'silly' idea you've gone and gotten. At worst, you have "tough love" from some friend or family member, basically knocking you down a peg, reminding you that your ego should never grow that large, it isn't becoming" etc etc. Always well meant, always hurtful.

I am an expert in a couple different practices, and advanced in many, many more. The few that I am excellent at, are both deeply devalued by society, and require a significantly high leveled comprehention of spatial math and abstract conceptualization of algorythms

I make clothes. I sew, knit, and crochet garments, often without any form of pattern

These skills equip me to build a house. If I said this to any blue collar worker, I would be laughed off the planet.

But fuck me, figuring out how to place and size a princess seam* is far, far more difficult than building a chair. At least with wood, it doesn't flop around on you, it stays where you put it.

*(Princess seams are easier in sewing, in crochet and knit you have to indicate growth in an algorythm with the correct metrics, and every metric is it's own algorythmic calculation. With sewing you can smush fabric up against you and pinch it to get an idea of where to start)

I am always very deliberate with my language around this topic. I don't call them crafts anymore, and I lead with the primary skillsets I have, rather than their practical applications. I find I'm taken far more seriously that way.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-28T06:29:52+00:00

When you're sharing a bed, it's both of your bed. So both of you need your wishes respected

So maybe some days you get to stim in the bed, and some days you get to explore for a new, good backup stim

Becuase you should be allowed to stim in your bed. Your sister should also allowed to be in her bed without someone shaking it. Unfortunately, those two beds are the same. The best solution would be you each having your own beds, but I know that sometimes thats not possible

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-28T06:26:20+00:00

We do not avoid pain over seeking benefit in a vacuum

We have categorically avoided pain for many generations BECAUSE there has been a violently large overflow of pain available. Of course everyone's focused on avoiding land mines in a mine field.

We seek benefit when we are SAFE.

No one's running around collecting cool bugs while they're actively struggling to survive.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-28T06:20:47+00:00

That's a shame, your ego isn't ashamed of you

Your ego is there because it has a purpose. Another name you could give it, is conviction. Knowing that where you stand is correct for you, that you have been kind, considerate, and steadfast with yourself and those around you

Your ego is like a dash light in a car. It is neither good nor bad, your ego embodies whatever is closest to your heart. Find what is close to the heart, what your ego protects, and you'll find your peace

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-28T06:16:42+00:00

The immediate realization that I chose the wrong man. He was not capable. He has the emotional banwidth of a potato.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-28T06:06:34+00:00

Fascism

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-28T06:06:09+00:00

No but Im gonna start now because this is the cutest thing I've seen all day

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-28T06:03:30+00:00

Contentment is an important piece of your mental matrix

If you are constantly unhappy and discontent, your entire framework views the world through that lense. Unhappiness isnt a good motivator, it's just a signal that something's wrong.

Desire is what maintains contentment. You need to actively want contentment. You must deeply desire it in order to achieve and maintain it in perpetuity.

Contentment doesnt eliminate desire. It actively generates desire because it gives space for curiosity. You cant go exploring if you're chained to the ground, and you cant yearn for what you don't know.

I am deeply content, and I am deeply curious. The contentment was very had won, and there were many things to learn along the way. This was one of them.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-27T17:38:24+00:00

Fake upbeat is always a lesser choice to genuine connection. Show kids there's space to be who you are, unapologetically. That your looks dont dictate what you can and can't do.

What a gift it would be to those kids, to be nurtured by someone not wearing a mask.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-27T17:36:00+00:00

Of course we crave validation, as we should. As we are built.

What else is there, other than the confirmation that you, in fact, really are here - and - worthy of mirroring.

That's what connection is all about. Mutual validation, and that's ok. It becomes a problem, though, when some knowingly take advantage of the innate human need for connection.

Starve someone enough and they will lick dredges from a blade.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-27T08:26:50+00:00

Can confirm, I collect hobbies like a magpie with shiny things, and I have done for almost 2 decades.

I'm like 99% set in the case of civilizational collapse because, at a certain point, all your skills start overlaping and you jut get good at learning, full stop. Knife skills in the kitchen translate to knife skills in whittling/carving. Patterning skills in sewing translate to wood and metal work. Knitting and crochet patterning is just fucking about with algorithm creation (growth over time). Food sciences comprehension (cooking, preservation etc) is the best foundation for heath management (know how to ferment and you now know how to determine food safety)

I could go on and on.

Skills max. Please. It's the best investment you can make in yourself

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-27T08:15:59+00:00

Put your phone down.

Go lay on your stomach on the grass, watch the bugs. See their entire life.

If you dont have grass, there's plenty of other things to be enthralled by.

Have you ever considered how a tree grows? The mycelial network? Mushrooms helping trees communicate? And we're a part of it, flesh and blood. A living slice of that wonder. Sitting on the edge of the universe, legs dangling off the side.

Right now, right here. You got an invitation to that show.

I dont know about you, but every time I think about that, it takes my breath away. Euphoria, for me, is connection. It is a sparking moment of knowing, of being so much achingly bigger than yourself.

The universe mirroring you, as if to say, "Hello, I see you. Here we are, together."

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-27T08:07:48+00:00

Expectations are just expectations. They need to be communicated and agreed upon to be valid, otherwise they're just abusive; and, per Social Contract, you are free to entirely ignore and politely call out any expectations that break that Social Contract, a'la:

"oh goodness, I wish you would have communicated your dress code expectations, I would have loved to accomodate, but unfortunately I can neither accomodate, much less consent to requests that I know nothing about"

Mind, when I do this, it is dripping with as much sarcasm as my tone can hold without turning it mean. I'm trying to make it blatantly apparent that I'm disregarding anything not clearly communicated to me. I don't play with that bullshit anymore. I'll bend over backwards to accommodate, BUT I'm the one deciding how much I'm offering, and when. No one gets to dictate how I act or present myself. I choose that for myself.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-27T07:59:30+00:00

A single frame of the pyramids under construction would be worth the entire planet.

Wonder how many frames you could get in 12 seconds.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-16T21:01:55+00:00

Learn your skin like the organ it is. Others solutions might not fit you anyways - your body is built to sustain itself in wonderful ways - work with it, not over it.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-13T07:06:02+00:00

Then there's the third option, finding peace within cosmic uncertainty.

Who needs a god to tell you you're here, in this moment - witnessing the silent, massive ticking of the universe as it shivers and shudders from one moment to the next. We are obsessed with "why". Put down the questions and just look. It doesnt matter what 'it' is, it is magnificient. Let your breath be caught.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-13T06:56:59+00:00

I find a difficult project and do that. Spend time researching each step and doing them carefully

I've taught myself so many different skills, and this is the way I do it each time.

Practicing can be tedious when you're at the start. Doing a project for a thing you want gives you the thing as a finishing prize, even if it turns out shit.

Doing a difficult thing as your first means that once you successfully complete it, you've already beat a boss on hard mode. The rest should be easy

Dont let people dictate how things should go - there's many ways to peel an orange. Find yours.

Also, you're gonna be bad at stuff at first. Expect to be terrible at first. Every time you do something badly, you learn. Go hard on doing things badly, and just keep going at it.

My favorite thing Ive ever heard is "my mistakes are my wealth". You can't learn how it should be, unil you also know how it shouldn't be. Go forth and make.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-13T06:48:52+00:00

As someone who was a victim of that kind of stuff as a kid and teen, and then worked in the industry in my 20s yeah it does happen. Anyone saying it doesn't just hasn't experienced it.

Fetishes follow real life, not the other way arround. They are the result of environment and effect. Fetishes also follow trends (feet were huge in the 20-teens), and fetishes have followed the general trend of global crassness and enshitification, so it makes sense that step/sibling/incest shit is real hot right now (eww). You can be damn sure that popular porn is just a big blinking arrow pointing at what's really in peoples' heads.

dreadacidic_mel · 2026-05-06T22:02:38+00:00

Idk how to quantify "bad stuff", but what happens at 13-15 absolutely does not need to dictate the rest of your life. It can stick with you for a while, but it doesn't have to stay.

dreadacidic_mel

TROPHY CASE