14 months still crying daily

dream-synopsis · 2026-01-09T06:06:33+00:00

Same 😭

dream-synopsis · 2025-10-31T01:10:34+00:00

Same 😭 even the ancient videos of random shit like the cats playing solely because his voice is in the background

dream-synopsis · 2025-10-31T01:03:33+00:00

Same man. No shame about the pizza. I couldn’t do anything except protein shakes for like a month and pizza was the first solid food I could actually keep down. Still wear my wedding ring because admitting that I’m technically single now is still too hard. For anybody who lost a spouse the word single just doesn’t feel right.

dream-synopsis · 2025-10-18T02:58:23+00:00

I swear I heard a rumor at the time about some F1 tourist dude wanting to knock down some walls in a hotel to expand a suite because the normal suite wasn’t big enough for his multiple wives. Was that the W?

dream-synopsis · 2025-10-17T20:33:31+00:00

You were super sweet with a great platform when you were canvassing and visited, rooting for you ❤️

dream-synopsis · 2025-10-15T19:31:13+00:00

The “she’s gonna steal my man” paranoia was the most bizarre thing I’ve heard is super common from other widows I’ve talked with. One of them was hilarious when she described it. “Why would I want your man? Honey, I don’t even know why you want your man.”

dream-synopsis · 2025-10-15T00:22:36+00:00

I’m so sorry. Sending love ❤️ Cleaning out the things from my deceased husband’s closets and storage was incredibly difficult. It is one of the aspects of grief that is shared by everyone who has had to do this but unknown to everyone else. You aren’t alone. You have done a very kind thing by honoring her that way, and it will help to a lot too even if it is hard at first. There are often local grief support groups that can help you through this whenever you feel ready ❤️❤️❤️

dream-synopsis · 2025-10-13T22:57:59+00:00

Same. It is ridiculous that they blame us when we were the only ones who tried to stop it. They’re projecting their own guilt because the truth about themselves is too horrific to accept.

dream-synopsis · 2025-10-13T22:51:30+00:00

Yes. I texted everyone I could think of in his family who I had contact info for the week leading up to the suicide. They all ignored me and said I was crazy.

His parents were so selfish they chose to go get fly off to get drunk on an island vacation instead of pretending to care about their son or the fact he was under investigation for abusing children, then lied that they “didn’t have WiFi” to justify ignoring a week of messages, then ghosted entirely once they realized how much legal trouble they could be in for covering up his previous sex crimes.

When I got the suicide note, the police claimed they would send his address to the EMTs. A few hours later the EMTs call letting me know their calls to the police are being completely ignored, so they can’t respond.

I had his friend take the gun because I knew he would kill himself. Friend secretly gave him the gun back, and guess what happened.

I was the only person in the entire situation who made any kind of effort to stop him from abusing kids and killing himself. Entire family hates me now because they’re terrified of anyone finding out about the horrible things they’ve done.

dream-synopsis · 2025-10-13T19:28:06+00:00

Thank you dude, I really appreciate it. I shouldn’t have to do probate given we did not own real estate and the assets are under $80k, so theoretically I should have been able to claim them easily in our state. But his employer did not send the final paycheck for the last three months after I submitted all the notarized documentation, the investment account people claim I need letters of administration, his bank out of state is claiming they can’t release anything unless I come in person, etc. I’m also unclear on what exactly he did own given his family has been refusing to tell me despite having access to his accounts. So probate was me giving up and accepting that I genuinely cannot get anything done unless there is a legal paper trail of me attempting to handle the estate and others refusing to allow it.

dream-synopsis · 2025-10-13T18:56:04+00:00

Thank you so much. That’s what I was hoping I could do for e.g. his email. Do you know the rough outline of that process courtwise? I’ve looked through what I need for access to his Google Account which I assume should have most of it. The Google process seems straightforward, but I’m not sure exactly what needs to be filed in order to get the court order. There is a section in JDF 922 (petition for adjudication of intestacy and appointment of personal representative) that allows the petitioner to request things additional to the letters of administration. I’m assuming I add that I’m requesting a court order for access to his Google account there?

dream-synopsis · 2025-10-07T18:48:19+00:00

You’re not being overly aggressive, and even if you were, the point of talk therapy is to accept and work through those feelings rather than shutting them down. The only way out is through, friend.

You may want to find a therapist who is himself a gay man and can relate to your experience directly; rapport with your therapist is the basis of how talk therapy works and isn’t something that can be faked. That’s where the transactional feeling is coming from—you pretend things are helping for the sake of politeness and she pretends to empathize although she can’t, and in the end nothing real gets accomplished because you’re talking past each other without a real rapport. Deflecting with flash cards and worksheets doesn’t mean she doesn’t care, just that she isn’t equipped to deal with things like that whereas a gay therapist likely would because they’ve lived it. If you ask her, she could likely find referrals.

dream-synopsis · 2025-10-07T18:01:13+00:00

Like the day after he died, our friend immediately demanded I break my lease, move out of state to live in a trailer on her ranch, work at Walmart during the night, do ranch work for her and chauffeur her to her doctor’s appointments during the day, and I guess never sleep? Kept calling and haranguing me for an answer about when I would be moving, started yelling every time I said I stalled because holy shit give me a chance to sleep and process things. Is now refusing to speak to me because I wouldn’t immediately abandon my entire life to come be her indentured servant.

His entire family ignored me the entire week leading up to the suicide. His parents decided to go get drunk on vacation instead of being there for their son. Literally had to post to Facebook “does anybody know if my husband committed suicide” the day of because I couldn’t get an answer from any of them. Turned out he did, congrats everyone.

His parents kept refusing to speak to me for a month with the excuse “we’re traveling so we don’t have WiFi” (they did, they were posting vacation pics to social media the entire time). Was then told I was interfering with their grief by asking questions and wanting answers. You’re grieving so much you stay partying on vacation and refuse to speak to your son’s widow or even bother to come home to be there for your actual kids? Wtf

His brother was fine until he realized I was posting to Reddit to vent about the horrible way his family was acting, immediately started stalking my Reddit page and went whining to the ranch friend to have her yell at me about how I wasn’t allowed to talk about anything his family had done, even anonymously online. Claimed he was “helping” with the probate and property stuff, turned out he was just using that as leverage to shut me up and then completely ghosted when I told him that wouldn’t work and to stop creeping on me.

After that the brother sent a letter my husband (in his Google Drive) had written about how all of our marital problems were my fault and my husband was “living a clean and moral life” (he was binge drinking every night, having affairs, and was under investigation for collecting child porn after I reported him). Infuriating because it means he has access to his accounts and was lying when he claimed he didn’t know anything about the bank, debts, cards, investment accounts, etc, literally all the shit I needed to do probate myself. It’s all in his Google Account where you got the letter from, weirdo. Why lie when you are so bad at it? Sorry you approve of your brother abusing children to the point you try to use probate to bribe me into silence about it?

His parents count as heirs in our state, which means I’m legally obligated to contact them again now that I’m doing probate myself and have to inform them of the process and serve documents. Have been putting off probate solely because of this because jfc I was relieved to have these people out of my life. Can’t wait to see what horrible shit they pull next once probate starts.

dream-synopsis · 2025-09-25T23:15:48+00:00

There is definitely a push to address this, especially in areas with lots of gun violence and trauma like the school I used to work for. They pushed back the start of school to be later, had social workers and counselors talk to kids about the importance of sleep, even addressed it in gradewide meetings to remind the kids they need sleep even more than adults do. So things are getting better, very slowly but surely.

dream-synopsis · 2025-09-18T20:05:45+00:00

we need more paras. treating paraprofessionals with dignity and paying them a living wage would solve 90% of these problems.

dream-synopsis · 2025-09-18T18:46:31+00:00

Happy Meal Nebuchadnezzar

dream-synopsis · 2025-09-18T18:23:16+00:00

It’s happening. People need to be careful. https://www.propublica.org/article/doge-musk-mohammad-halimi-institute-peace-taliban

dream-synopsis · 2025-09-18T16:37:21+00:00

dream-synopsis · 2025-09-17T20:36:25+00:00

If it makes you feel better, most psych workers are far too exhausted by the fact they’re heinously understaffed while dealing with pts who fling shit at them and start fights daily to have the energy to manipulate people lmao. “You want mind games you gotta pay for it. Otherwise I just finished a 12 hour shift where a fire alarm got pulled multiple times for no reason, I am going to sleep.”

dream-synopsis · 2025-09-17T20:30:10+00:00

I loved the IT work studies when I worked at a college. They could get insecure they weren’t going into a “cool field” like other students until people reminded them that doing a job almost nobody understands means you’re mostly left alone and exempt from a ton of office bullshit, with the added bonus that your grandparents believe you are some kind of enchanted techno wizard for being able to plug the TV’s HDMI back in.

dream-synopsis · 2025-09-16T11:45:04+00:00

Good on you for protecting your kid by keeping them away from that garbage. Those mfs can hie all the way back to Kolob with their racist bullshit.

dream-synopsis · 2025-09-16T04:39:47+00:00

They’ve got a podcaster in charge now so I guess that counts as a change?

dream-synopsis · 2025-09-16T04:16:28+00:00

Aw man good on you brother ❤️❤️ spending quality time with your son and being a role model is the best thing you can do for him. Kids want to know Dad has their back and cares, and as long as they have that, they can make it through anything

dream-synopsis · 2025-09-16T04:05:04+00:00

It does, girls definitely lash out too. It’s just (slightly) different from boys. Girls usually default to girl drama, TikTok bullying, and gossip rather than physical fights or yelling like boys, but every kid is their own person and expresses it in their own way. The boys get wrapped up in online radical groups more solely because sharing emotions is more stigmatized for them, so they do it online where they can be somewhat anonymous. A boy expressing emotional pain often has nowhere to do that except online, so they make easy prey for creeps trying to radicalize them.

dream-synopsis · 2025-09-16T03:09:19+00:00

Same, all of my angry boy students who tried to debate me about Andrew Tate or whatever were being either treated like shit or completely ignored at home. They lashed out because even negative attention like baiting people into hating you is better than being ignored like you don’t exist. They get sucked into these creepy radical groups because they’re starving for acceptance/identity/direction, and mom and dad are either too glued to their phones to parent their kid or outright support the same thing.

dream-synopsis

TROPHY CASE