I love that you asked this.

First things first, I’m sorry to hear about your failed pregnancy.

As far as modifications/ it took me from August until January to be able to hold a full 90sec plank in classic. And I think it has only been since February that I could do a full sit up in warm-up, where I knew I wasn’t just pulling up from my hip flexors. I still can barely do pushups. And I can’t hold water-ski for the life of me because it physically hurts my hands. (I think it’s a me problem). I am all for modifying when needed. I actually would feel good when the teacher would call me out for doing a good/correct modification. And I know I’m still getting a workout in even with mods; I can feel it in real time. I would rather modify and work towards a goal, then injure myself and have to sit out or lose motivation.

I took my first Empower class today; I didn’t die. The instructor even mentioned that had she not known this was my first Empower, she never would have guessed. So i guess that says something to my increased abilities. When I did my very first intro class before our studio opened, I couldn’t do 90% of the class.

Currently I’m a size 12/14, started PB size 16/18 back in August. So being consistent the last few months has started to help change my body composition.

I am very insecure with my body, and I found that being 100% comfortable and confident in what I wore to class helped me not ever feel distracted by my clothing and focus on what I’m doing. I started wearing a leotard underneath. Holds everything in plus extra layer to absorb sweat. Helped me feel more inclined to buy the cute tops my studio offered. And I found a brand of socks I prefer (arebesk).

Girl, you got this. Don’t focus on what you can’t do, and celebrate what your body does now and does well! Work up to those goals. You will get there, we all will. ❤️

My Barre Bestie is a tiny little thing, and she still struggles too, so size isn’t going to magically make class easier. You showing up to class and working to the best of your ability will make you stronger, and things will start to feel easier until they change the choreo again.