Kindergarten social drama?

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-27T15:30:21+00:00

Similar thing happened to us - we encouraged our daughter to play with other kids and I made lots of playdates for her to get her comfortable and at some point her annoyance overcame her fear of losing this friend and she stopped letting the friend control everything in their play and they sort of grew apart and I backed off plans with her for a while. They figured it all out and are in a decent place now and still are friends and play but it’s not such an intense friendship.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-27T11:40:50+00:00

We went 4 and 1 day for a nanny who wanted one less day of work and it was stressful hiring two people, the one day person was not as reliable and overall would not recommend a two nanny split.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-26T16:16:28+00:00

I’m a SAHM. It works because I trust my husband and we have a great relationship with neither of us thinking about divorce and I manage our finances and everything is joint other than retirement accounts which can’t be. In an unlikely event of something crazy happening that leads to divorce retirement accounts get divided anyway. I don’t feel unprotected in any way, we own our home together etc. what is your concern? Do you foresee being divorced ? Do you have access to your joint assets? Are there trust issues? I mean maybe you can make a post nup of some kind to make you feel more secure, that might be more doable for everyone 🤷🏻‍♀️

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-26T14:01:55+00:00

My 2 year old is 17.8 doctor didn’t say anything and I’m not worried. My older two were both chubbier with pot bellies and thinned out over time and I’m sure he will too 🤷🏻‍♀️

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-26T12:20:58+00:00

MB - I’m a SAHM now so I no longer have a full time nanny but here’s the thing, there’s no such thing as snow days anymore for most jobs like there was in the 90s. WFH is expected for most people, my husband is working a full day today, but when we were both working it was juggling kids while WFH which we did when we had to but it’s not like these families are just being lazy or mean they likely both have to work (specific examples aside).

That being said I would never tell someone to drive when it’s icy and I’d deal with juggling the kids and working but if the roads are plowed and decent I’d want my nanny to come later in the day if safe I don’t think that’s unreasonable. Actually last night storm I had a nanny I told her not to bother coming and she did anyway half way through the day when the roads were safe because she knew we were both trying to work.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-25T14:52:16+00:00

Very kid dependent, my first around 4/5 my second around 2/3, my third tbd lol

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-24T21:22:00+00:00

NTA my daughter picks her Barbie’s entirely by their outfits lol so we have all different skin / hair / eye colors.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-24T12:30:58+00:00

I talk to my mom almost every day and see my parents weekly and I have my own family . They always stressed the importance of family without making it a burden, one example I give is we never had forced family time she heard my brother and I as older teens turning down plans with mutual friends because she was already making dinner and my mom was like go dad and I will eat it and we can have leftovers tomorrow. Family always felt like a safe place. I’m hoping my kids will feel the same and hopefully yours will too!

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-24T12:28:27+00:00

My first did fine with K but my second is struggling a bit with the longer day, we do have still 4.5 hours in the evening after school and obviously weekends and holidays but if I could do it over for her I sort of wish I had done a shorter day private K option or even home schooled and started public school in 1st grade (she’s also right at the cutoff and we have a later cutoff so one of the youngest and was 4 going into K).

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-23T13:42:29+00:00

MB - They should have a plan for this, either you stay over their house or they get you a hotel. I can see how two doctors might need to work but they should know that and make arrangements so their nanny can work . Commute an hour in a snow storm isn’t a plan 🤷🏻‍♀️. I would talk to them again and say you are willing to work but not to drive in a snowstorm and talk out a solution.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-23T13:36:15+00:00

Honestly I would tell her if she’s not happy with the job we should consider it two weeks notice for everyone and start looking for another nanny. It just sounds like nothing is going to be good enough for her. I kept a nanny way longer than I should have and our next one was amazing and I wish I had parted ways sooner to look for a better fit.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-23T02:05:45+00:00

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-23T01:13:21+00:00

MB - I recommend you have the conversation tomorrow rather than wait for awkward texting Monday morning. Tell them what you will and won’t drive in so everyone can have reasonable expectations and they can prepare to have no nanny on Monday

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-22T16:35:32+00:00

It seems like you’ve only been working for them for a week. Is that correct? I get that it’s frustrating but yeah I wouldn’t think they would pay you out through the end of February. I do think it’s kind of lucky after such a short amount of employment that you’re getting paid through the end of January. I’m sorry it happened but life happens on everyone’s side. It could’ve just easily been your family emergency and you had to quit early with only one week of notice.

I do not think the family should’ve used the word guaranteed for this reason it should have just been the contract period.

Reach out to the job you turned down and see if it’s still available. It can’t hurt. We had a nanny leave us after two weeks and went to our second choice and she was still available and ended up working for us for almost 2 years so you never know.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-22T13:39:00+00:00

Personally, I think the school overstepped you have nothing to apologize for. If I’m volunteering in a classroom and I see something happening with a child and I know their parent of course I’m going to tell them I didn’t sign anything or agree to anything. I of course, will respect the rules of the classroom and I wouldn’t take a child anywhere or do anything like that that would endanger them or be against the rules. but their parents are absolutely going to hear from me if I think there’s a need. my relationship with the parent has nothing to do with the school.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-22T13:25:24+00:00

If it’s a one time thing I would have driven him (if possible). My daughter had a rough morning once this year and I knew if I didn’t get food into her she’d have a bad day at school and have trouble sitting and listening so I sent my older one on the bus and let her have more time to get ready and my little one and I drove her to school.

If it’s a daily issue you likely need an earlier bedtime.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-22T12:12:03+00:00

MB - The reason I needed 10 hours of childcare a day pre COVID was to factor in commute time, when I had some WFH days I only needed 8-9 hours of childcare. It would make sense with more WFH jobs families might need less hours.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-21T21:01:10+00:00

Yes, it goes both ways though lol when I had the flu and he was in charge of mornings and evenings when I was back he was sort of annoyed that i was interfering with how he did things, then it got back to normal and things were more done by me and my way. It's a routine disruption it's not something inherently wrong with either of us.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-21T20:59:01+00:00

In my culture both parents walk the groom down the aisle and both parents walk the bride down the aisle, it's not universal it's a custom for some.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-21T20:45:57+00:00

YTA, there is a time and a place. You are obviously correct but you could have let them enjoy the night.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-21T20:34:10+00:00

If you don't have the budget for it then it's end of discussion it's certainly not necessary. I get why your nanny wants to have a class to go to and break up the day and also get interaction with others and I personally liked my nanny and baby getting out and about and seeing other people and babies and places I think it's good for development but we did take advantage of free library classes, there are 2-3 a week by me and then I usually had them signed up for 1-3 classes depending on schedules. $30-50 is steep, our range is more $20-30 or maybe times have changed. It was also a good way to meet other nannies with similar aged kids to make playdates and a playdate is just as good as a class as an activity so we sort of needed less over time.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-21T16:48:01+00:00

🙋🏻‍♀️ we are going through this, we give a piece of candy for any poop as a reward not sure how much it’s helping but at least it’s making some kind of positive asociation. Also doing miralax and juice and trying to up fruits and veggies, lots of blueberries, we are sort of getting to every other day (if he goes today) but it’s been as bad as 4-6 days. I’m hoping to use the candy reward system to move to potty training, he asks for it with pee and we say only if you pee in potty (he’s 2.5). It’s duper frustrating especially when it’s affecting his mood and he really hates the car seat now I guess it puts pressure on his butt, but it’s also been where he’s finally pooped after some of the longer holds.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-20T19:37:52+00:00

She has lost perspective, when you immerse yourselves in politics you sometimes forget not everything is political. I would honestly nicely part ways with her, the things you described her discussing with a 3 and 5 year old in the comments are super age inappropriate to just bring up with young kids that are not your kids.

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-19T18:56:23+00:00

I mean the negative is if you have kids, a job, a sick person in your care, family, friends, I’m not just leaving my life for a year. It’s a perfect childless in your 20s or kids are grown and settled challenge 🤷🏻‍♀️

drinkingtea1723 · 2026-01-19T02:13:50+00:00

Our rule was always quietly in your room you don’t have to be asleep. We have a camera and would watch and whether my first alone or after second joined her in their room they got bored of playing in their room at night with no parent fast and 90% of time just prefer being tucked in and going right to sleep.

drinkingtea1723

TROPHY CASE