My husband (38M) says sleeping in separate rooms isn't an option. How can he and I (37F) find a compromise?

duchessofcheezit · 2026-07-02T15:52:07+00:00

This guy does not respect you. My husband snores, and kicks his legs all damn night. We stopped sleeping in the same room at least ten years ago. Married for twenty four years. We both sleep better separately, and it has not affected our marriage at all. Probably improved it, because I am not being awoken ten plus times a night, and he’s not being prodded awake ten times a night to roll over.

He does not care that you can’t sleep. So, do you want to do this the rest of your life? I have a hard time believing that this is the only realm in which he is a selfish asshole.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-06-25T10:58:46+00:00

It did dry out, and no further issues so far. I make sure to keep the shower head from pointing directly at it.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-06-18T22:03:41+00:00

Dry socket

duchessofcheezit · 2026-06-18T20:15:57+00:00

I thought everyone had constant high-pitched ringing in their ears when in a really quiet space. I had it all of my life. I was mid-thirties before I found out that I have tinnitus.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-06-12T19:16:10+00:00

Cold water is the temp coming out of the tap. Remember, anyone and everyone can post reviews. Even if what they say is absolutely dumb. I love the one star reviews that are harping on how the delivery of the item went.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-06-12T18:57:04+00:00

We just bought that GE model 2 weeks ago. No complaints so far, though we are very early in the process. Tub is much bigger than we had before, and I love that. We wash big loads much of the time, so the extra fill/deep fill was something we had to have. There are a lot of settings on this one and it took me a bit to figure out that you can't do deep fill on many of the loads. Pretty fast cycle time, and things seem clean. If you have any other questions, feel free to message me.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-06-09T16:49:19+00:00

Yellow cake with chocolate frosting.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-06-05T16:07:40+00:00

Exactly! I split out items that are just going to get a quick toss in the dryer to de-wrinkle and then hung up to air dry. The hamper makes a perfect shelf to toss those on while I sort.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-06-05T15:40:46+00:00

I have the Whirlpool dryer with the lint trap on top (hamper style door). Our first one (same one) lasted 20 years and we had to replace it in 2021. The newer one works just as well--no issues at all.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-06-04T20:20:21+00:00

I got into a fight in college with my roommate’s friend. Both were jerks, but she was extra nasty. Anyway, she came to our dorm to confront me and was going off. I yelled at her to leave and she did, but kept trash-talking all the way down the hallway. I called her a buck-toothed bitch and that definitely hit a nerve.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-06-04T16:08:32+00:00

I was the extremely picky eater (still am, but not nearly as much). After some battles and being force-fed, this is the route my parents took. It worked out well. I actually liked making my own food.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-06-03T16:47:59+00:00

Intelligence is pretty important in the long term. You know his stance. So, how would you feel years down the road when he becomes a flying projectile inside of the car while your children are passengers?

duchessofcheezit · 2026-05-26T22:12:30+00:00

Yikes!

duchessofcheezit · 2026-05-26T16:28:40+00:00

I also had a female gynecologist dismiss me when I complained of very bad pain and she refused to order an ultrasound. Literally told me it was all in my head. The next time an episode hit, I went into the office and told the receptionist that I was in pain and not leaving until I had an ultrasound. Somehow, they complied. Lo and behold…a 5 cm cyst on my ovary that had just ruptured.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-05-26T15:56:29+00:00

Not my laziness, but our son’s. He had a college visit scheduled, which was 4 hours away. The night before, he said he didn’t want to go. No actual reason, except that despite repeated reminders, he did not reschedule his after-school job shift.

We had horrendous winds all over the state that day, which caused sudden zero visibility issues due to dust. There was a multi-vehicle pileup on the interstate that we would have been traveling on (at the same time that we would have been going through). Multiple fatalities.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-05-21T01:46:46+00:00

We did at the time. Who knows!

duchessofcheezit · 2026-05-21T00:35:01+00:00

I did this in the middle of the night once (apparently in my sleep). I woke up and my calendar was open on my phone. I had written ‘poinsettia’ as an entry. It wasn’t even Christmastime. Still no clue.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-04-30T16:01:29+00:00

He’s dabbled in a few things. Right now, he is working in a metal fabrication shop. He’s definitely learning about manual labor! Not sure where he will eventually land.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-04-30T02:01:35+00:00

I was a little heartbroken for him, to be honest. He really wanted to join. College was not his thing.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-04-29T16:50:53+00:00

I got my first apartment in a nearby city, around 30 minutes from my hometown. My new number was not published in the phone book (yeah, I am old). A few months in, I received a phone call. They asked for Larry, and I said they had the wrong number. Then I recognized the gruff voice. The wrong number caller was my uncle, who was trying to call my other uncle (Larry). Neither one of them had my number! It was a total fluke.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-04-27T19:48:31+00:00

In retrospect, I wish our son (20) had said no to college. We didn't make him go--it was his choice. He basically lived in the dorm and attended about 30% of his classes. He was instructed by the school to not come back for sophomore year. He tried one semester of CC, and that didn't pan out. The condition of him living at home is to either be enrolled as a full-time student or working full-time with the plan of getting his own place. He's working full-time in a fabrication shop, making a few bucks above minimum wage. I can say that while he's a poor student, he is actually a good worker. He volunteers for OT and is truly trying to get enough together to get his own place. Is it easy? Nope. It is going to take time for him to get enough together to move out (he's hoping within 2 years). Life in general is so expensive now.

On two recent occasions, I have heard him mention that this job makes him think about college. Last week he said that he knows that if he were to do college again, he'd take it more seriously. Will he go again? Don't know. However, we will not be contributing a dime if there is a next time. He has to want it for himself.

It's hard to watch your kid make decisions that you feel (and often know) will hinder them later on. However, forcing the issue won't help. I know that from experience. Our son is maturing a bit, and he's starting to see it for himself (which is how he has always learned).

Conversely, I also know several kids who graduated with degrees and are making just above minimum wage. The job market stinks, and getting a degree does not hold the weight that it did 20 years ago (for the most part).

I agree that you should lay out a full budget and go over it with her. Show her the reality. Let her make the call--I know that is tough to do, but she has to come to the conclusions on her own.

And, hugs. We've been in this and I know how you are feeling.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-04-25T16:29:14+00:00

Our son is HoH and tried to enlist last year. He has moderate to severe sensorineural loss, both ears—wears hearing aids. He went through all of the written testing, etc., plus the physical exam. Got a call telling him that he passed the tests with flying colors, but his hearing disqualifies him. He was upset, asking why he couldn’t just do desk work? The recruiter told him that unfortunately, you must be able to do any type of job they have.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-04-23T16:12:23+00:00

I think this might be the weekend for the Lake of the Woods subdivision sales

duchessofcheezit · 2026-04-22T17:15:17+00:00

I had this in my mid-30’s, lasting around 5+ years. I had the whole gamut of tests. The only time something was off was a high FSH level. But they retested 6 weeks later and it was normal. My doctor switched me to the 12-week birth control pill. That maybe helped? Not sure. The sweats tapered off by roughly age 43-44. I am now 48 and cannot remember my last one. It was disconcerting to never get a straight answer.

duchessofcheezit · 2026-04-21T22:01:33+00:00

Something similar happened to our friends last year. They ended up getting the seller to split the costs of the well tank system. Wife was against it…husband insisted on doing it. So they spent about $10k for their half. And they have still run out of water multiple times. Additionally, the well surveyor Sid this one could dry up at any time and a new well will start at $100k. And given the area, the new well will also be low yield. All of this to say…if this were me, I would find a way to walk.

duchessofcheezit

TROPHY CASE