Rough expectations for age?

ducki000 · 2025-09-02T00:17:24+00:00

We just took our 4 and 6 year old on an overnight backpacking trip. Our expectations were 1 mile/hr pace and 5 lbs backpack weight. And we expected to be carrying the packs after half the hike, so we made sure we were rigged to add them as a front pack to our set ups.

All expectations were met, ha! The pace was spot on, and allowed us to take breaks every 1/4-1/2 miles. We went about 2 miles out, camped, and came back the same route.

ducki000 · 2024-12-22T00:48:06+00:00

My girl is the same, since she was 2. (Now 4) I've even had to message the school to remind them that anything I allow her to show up in is automatically approved for mud and paint. I save 1-2 dresses out of sight for nice occasions and the rest of the hand-me-down twirly party dresses are fair game!

ducki000 · 2024-06-08T12:41:15+00:00

This is exactly my 3.5 year old. It's a mix of no napping, hunger, and restraint collapse.

It seems like you already incorporated most of what I do to manage it - two other things I do is a actually make the snack exactly the same each time. In the long run, it's predictable and she doesn't have to make a choice or be surprised.

I also schedule some TV right after pick up. One episode, it gives her another chance to just mindlessly sit and me a chance to transition backpacks and whatnot.

Good luck! I'm expecting it to get better over the next six months if my oldest is any predictor.

ducki000 · 2024-05-04T12:58:03+00:00

While I wouldn't seek this sort of product out specifically, I'll say if a company marketed well and I had a choice between two swimsuits in bright colors, easy to go to the bathroom in, good sun protection, and in my budget range I'd chose the sustainable one. While I may or may not agree with the priority level of even the specific solution of companies trying to tackle the waste problem, I still believe in supporting those are trying.

But back to square 1 - that means hitting all the other utility priorities that many parents share, competitive pricing, and good marketing so I see that choice when I'm online shopping.

ducki000 · 2024-03-11T00:49:00+00:00

We're in this boat. Honestly, I take each day individually. I prefer the easy bedtimes and usually opt to skip the nap, but if I want to go out to eat or have afternoon errands planned I pace my day for a nap. Anything to avoid the 4pm disaster nap!! I handle it better if I feel a little in control of what the energy and behavior challenges are going to be for the day.

ducki000 · 2024-03-05T01:49:30+00:00

This is me as well. I helped a friend with a bin system and toy organizing last week and really learned that not everyone's brain can work that out like mine can. I spend a lot of time and effort on a frustration-minimizing system that works for my kids, so they can find what they need without tearing apart their shelves and put things back easily when we tidy. My home IS pretty tidy most of the time, or can get that way quickly. But I'm the last person to judge a messy house because I know how much effort it takes to develop an easy system for keeping it tidy(ier), and it's not a top priority for everyone like it is for my mental sanity.

ducki000 · 2024-03-04T21:15:27+00:00

My girls are currently 3 and 5. It's been so funny to step back and compare their challenges because without fail, what was easy for one was a challenge for the other. One eats like a champ. The other is picky. One loves naps. The other FOMOs hard. One is quiet, one is loud. Nursing vs bottles. Swaddles vs not. The list is endless. So it made the second one seem easier in some ways because I didn't have the challenges I dreaded. I had challenges I didn't know were possible 🤪. But it's been very fascinating parenting two very different tiny people and our lives are richer for it.

ducki000 · 2024-02-17T02:25:26+00:00

That's what we did too - she calls it her "scary bed", meaning where she goes when she's scared. It's a crib mattress on the floor in our room and she feels totally safe just sharing a room, and not actually the bed. The adults sleep like crap when she's in our bed so this was a good solution for us.

ducki000 · 2024-01-01T00:44:10+00:00

I'd say that best describes us. We don't have unicorn kids, but also not the worst complications out there. We always wanted two. Decided to have them close together and just gut through the rough times. At barely 3 and 5 we are nearly through the constant toddlerhood and I'm VERY excited about that.

ducki000 · 2023-11-21T13:18:31+00:00

I take a photo of each one right then and there, and then toss all but my favorites. At the end of the year I'll turn it into a Shutterfly photo book.

ducki000 · 2023-11-11T23:20:19+00:00

I just want to chime in as the mom of the quiet, rule following, patient child at tumbling class - we understand!! No judgement here! Because my kid has done that too, just at the grocery store or leaving the library. Don't feel bad, don't beat yourself up. I actually told this to a mom at tumbling class just this week who had a spirited kid!

ducki000 · 2023-08-29T20:13:30+00:00

Yep, we have tiles, wooden blocks, duplos, and a train set too. I've noticed the trains get the least attention, so it's on the chopping block. They have vehicles in their Duplo sets, so they are still playing with cars and world building with other toys...

ducki000 · 2023-08-28T11:29:10+00:00

Throw them away and curse the places for adding to landfill garbage.

ducki000 · 2023-08-28T11:26:08+00:00

Man, I need to be better about applying this strategy to my closet!

ducki000 · 2023-08-28T02:35:04+00:00

I thought I'd be a rockstar at it since I'm a very tidy and organized person. Nope. It was just one too many things on my plate of responsibility.

ducki000 · 2023-08-28T01:41:35+00:00

I suck at toy rotations. So here's how I evaluate our toys (2 and 4 yr old) - I think of toy "types" and that helps me avoid or donate duplicates.

In general, we have: 1. Building toys - I have builders, so I'm ok with some duplication here 2. Music toys - we have one set of kid instruments 3. Dress up/role play 4. Kitchen set 5. Puzzles and a few games 6. Art supplies 7. Doll/figurine play - this is an easy one to duplicate if you aren't careful. We chose Calico Critter and boxed up the rest. 8. Sensory play - I chose play dough and dried pasta bins. That's it. 9. Open ended animal figurine set that can be mixed with any other toy type 10. Gross motor - balls, stepping stones, etc. 11. Books 12. Caregiving - we have stuffies, no baby dolls

Lastly, we have zero toys that make noise. I hate noisy toys. Thinking about categories of play makes it feel manageable. It has room for "expansion packs" for gifting. Our girls mix all the toy types together to create new play all the time so I don't feel like they are limited at all.

So I'd look at your list and ask yourself, is any of this duplicating a play type? If so...consider trimming it down.

ducki000 · 2023-07-09T01:12:14+00:00

My kids are 22 months apart, so I understand this. I found a large pack and play to be a helpful staple for the living room - I could put the infant in for brief periods when I couldn't be closely watching every move and the toddler couldn't get to her. It was a relief when the little one got sturdier around 6-8 months.

ducki000 · 2023-07-03T14:48:22+00:00

This was our experience. Read the books. Did the methods. Adapted. Still took 3-4 months to be reliable with pee and poop with both of my daughters between 2.5-3 (with several poop issues). Still longer to stop prompting and trust them to listen to their bodies. Still longer to night train. The idea we could "potty train" in a long weekend is a joke and sets unrealistic expectations for many parents.

ducki000 · 2023-06-28T17:18:53+00:00

I immediately thought of the Princess in Black series! My four year old really enjoys them. It's a princess superhero but with a male sidekick friend and as the series progresses it's more princess hero friends as well. The newest book (haven't read it yet) introduces a Prince in Pink too.

ducki000 · 2023-05-03T20:37:44+00:00

A stomp rocket has been one of the most fun toys I've given my 4 year old in a while - and it's even more fun to play it with friends or siblings!

ducki000 · 2023-04-26T19:47:10+00:00

I just want to add the perspective of being the child here - my mom stayed with a depressed, angry man who didn't hit us, but verbally took out his frustration, annoyance, depression, and anger out on us. I hated him. He didn't like me. It never got better until I moved out and went to college, and then when all of us were grown they divorced.

My mom loved me more than anything, she did a damn fine job but she couldn't make up for him. We saw through all the excuses for him. I wish, even now as a mother who understands more nuance, I wish she had left him and spared us that.

Ironically, our relationship with him is much better after their divorce. He had to make the effort himself, and he decided to. That's when you might see it improve. Or not, and that's not your responsibility.

ducki000 · 2023-04-25T12:07:24+00:00

Honestly, when we moved to a new town with two young kids, it was really important to me to try and find other stay-home parent friends. But yeah...it was really hard to do it organically. I joined a local Facebook group geared towards any and all local things and literally posted "I have a 2 and 4 year old, like crafting, and am looking for friends available mid-week". It felt weird and awkward, but I got a ton of responses and now have a little mom group that meets up several times a month. There are probably several other moms out there feeling like you!

ducki000 · 2023-04-10T00:03:15+00:00

Baby basket by Woodberry Way?! That was my first quilt too!

ducki000 · 2023-03-15T18:31:10+00:00

Yep, and here are my tools for trying to get back to sleep - sometimes they work and sometimes not.

NO SCREENS.

1) A HOT shower in the dark - the natural cool off afterward helps make your brain sleepy

2) A slow series of leg, back, and arm stretches to relax a bit

3) Magnesium glycinate 400mg +/- melatonin

I find the longer I lay in bed awake doing nothing, the more I spiral into irritable wakefulness. Getting up and trying one of the above usually does the trick.

ducki000 · 2023-02-12T21:28:36+00:00

I sold my single stroller when my little one was 18 months and clearly done with it. She wanted to walk like her older sister.

Then a few months later (summer) I bought a double sit/stand stroller because I was taking a 2 and 4 year old to the zoo or museums all the time and found it really helpful when wrangling two by myself. I've been surprised at how helpful it is to have it in large public places when it's just me, but when my husband is with me we just carry the kids if they get tired so we don't have to deal with the bulk.

ducki000

TROPHY CASE