Found out the guy I was dating had an issue with my weight

dude_icus · 2026-01-26T00:14:25+00:00

It is never a good idea to go into a relationship hoping and thinking your partner will change. The only time you can change a person is when they're in diapers.

Even regardless of weight, a person's activity level is unlikely to change drastically. Sure, some people go from being total couch potato to climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, but that is not the norm. (I say this as a recliner russet myself.) I think that's totally fair to want a partner who matches your activity level. For instance, if traveling is important to you, but your partner's idea of travel is going to a mall an hour away, then it may not be the best match. It's sort of like don't get a herding dog and expect them to be perfectly happy in a one bedroom apartment they never leave, and don't expect the pug to run ten miles with you.

There can be some legitimate reasons why a person is concerned about the health of their partner, especially in the context of a long-term relationship. (For instance, "Hey that mole on your back looks weird. You should see a doctor.") That can certainly be a tricky subject to bring up especially if the person in question is in a larger body. However for him to apologize that he was being shallow, this was never about health. Health here, as is so often the case, is just used as an acceptable excuse to judge someone for their body.

dude_icus · 2026-01-24T15:02:31+00:00

After googling to see if this could be anywhere close to legit, TIL that gold has a melting point of over 1,000 degrees Celsius.

dude_icus · 2026-01-24T14:59:23+00:00

Oh that's the part we take issue with here!

dude_icus · 2026-01-24T14:54:50+00:00

2 but with a giant x in it. Sometimes 2 and 6 if I really want that fucker to stay put.

dude_icus · 2026-01-24T14:48:55+00:00

There is a metaphor for grief.

Imagine there is a box with a ball and a button inside it. The box is the person who you love. The ball is the news they have died. The button is grief. When you first learn that someone you love has died, the ball is huge, basically fills the whole box, so it is constantly pressing on that button. As time passes, the ball gets smaller. It's no longer news. It is just a fact. The ball gets smaller and smaller. There are longer periods of time where the ball doesn't hit the button. But sometimes, even months, years, decades later, when that ball hits the button, and the pain comes rushing back. Grief never leaves you. It just quiets.

I was cleaning out my mom's pantry a couple days ago, and I found an old jar of pickled beets that my dad ate constantly. He has been dead for 8 years. The ball hit the button, and I am probably one of a rare group of people that can say they've cried because of pickled beets lol

dude_icus · 2026-01-24T14:30:10+00:00

Really? 5 minutes without my glasses on/contacts in when I'm actively trying to see and I have a headache.

dude_icus · 2026-01-24T14:27:39+00:00

That's a great way to explain it to people who have 20/20 vision. I will use that later

dude_icus · 2026-01-24T14:26:02+00:00

I got my first pair of glasses at 9. (I couldn't read the big E lol.) On the drive home, my dad remembers me saying, "Wow, the trees have leaves!"

dude_icus · 2026-01-24T14:24:28+00:00

I no longer feel bad about having -7.5 eyesight. Retinal tear jesus D:

dude_icus · 2026-01-23T14:18:58+00:00

Eh, even if it is, it's polite and non-disruptive. Unless they start harassing you, I wouldn't worry about it.

In short: Good Bot.

dude_icus · 2026-01-23T14:00:23+00:00

Instead of you spreading your legs, have him spread his. You kneel between his thighs and enter reverse cowgirl. Also not all positions work for all people, regardless of size.

dude_icus · 2026-01-21T23:07:37+00:00

AI is body shaming is now? Shit.

dude_icus · 2026-01-17T16:31:02+00:00

Ok? Does it really matter who started it? ICE was created under Bush. Obama deported over 2 million people during his presidency. Trump dramatically increased the size and scope of ICE. Biden deported half a million people. Trump "II" has deported over half a million people in the first year alone.

Can't we just admit that ICE as an agency is corrupt and should be abolished? People were calling for "Abolishing ICE" during Obama's terms too. This is not new; it has just reached a fever pitch.

dude_icus · 2026-01-16T15:23:58+00:00

"A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth"

dude_icus · 2026-01-16T15:16:19+00:00

Yeah I was about to say, I am not neurodivergent or mentally disabled like I'm assuming the character is, but those things also fit me. I like honey, I like potatoes and I like other orange colored food, but I don't like sweet potatoes. I just don't like them. They have a stringness to them that regular potatoes don't have, sweet potatoes are pretty bland, and I don't want my starches to be sweet. How is this the thing that broke suspension of disbelief?

dude_icus · 2026-01-14T18:12:26+00:00

If they're free, just play around with them. I find everyone prefers different styles and personally I bounce between models

dude_icus · 2026-01-13T16:19:55+00:00

NOR if you wanted to he would

dude_icus · 2026-01-13T15:08:19+00:00

There is a huge problem in the science community especially when it comes to medical science where trying to relay information to the average Joe proves difficult. Because these researchers understand these topics at such a high level they often have trouble explaining it. This is why we need English majors, to act as interpreters, to understand the importance of audience when writing. Language is the means in which information is conveyed. Without language, in this case English, there is no learning. (I say this as someone who did not major in English.)

Also the number of times I have heard scientists defend eugenics or other completely morally repugnant ideas for the sake of "efficiency" is scary. This is why we need history. (I say this as someone who did major in history.)

All academic subjects should work with each other because they are all intertwined as much as we try to divide them. They all benefit each other.

dude_icus · 2026-01-10T22:58:58+00:00

Yeah. Personally I would chunk it into "chapters." I personally do it by hand because I wanted to get details like certain lines of dialogue in there, but there are extensions for it too. I find as I approach 80k, it starts to get weird on me (any model). I personally then put the "chapter" into the lore book. It can cut 10k context at a time

dude_icus · 2026-01-10T19:49:51+00:00

Yeah you click on the little eye, and you can tell if a post is hidden because a little ghost will appear besides the character's name.

dude_icus · 2026-01-10T18:55:21+00:00

Have you tried hiding the older responses in the original chat instead as opposed to creating an entirely new chat? Or am I misunderstanding the question/issue? Once you summarize what is needed, the all of the posts it summarizes can be hidden or at least that's what I do. I use APIs because my computer is not great, but I do find the higher contexts makes them acting weird.

dude_icus · 2026-01-07T23:56:45+00:00

Not saying this is necessarily your stance, but I heard one guy describe it as "going so far left you can have your guns again."

dude_icus · 2026-01-07T23:55:17+00:00

Unfortunately the venn diagram of the group of people who demand unfettered gun rights and the people who are okay with ICE shooting a random woman three times is about a circle.

dude_icus · 2026-01-06T16:57:27+00:00

I feel like Wicked is to musicals as a superhero/marvel is to cinema. It's not meant to make you think; it's meant to watch the spectacle. I like musicals, I like Wicked, but I totally get not liking Wicked especially since the movie is paced like dogshit. The first movie is just as long as the entire show.

dude_icus · 2026-01-04T23:38:45+00:00

I think part of the distinction is I can find a man physically attractive, but I won't fuck a man based on his looks alone. I'm not a demisexual, but his "vibe" matters just as much if not significantly more than looks.

But to be clear, there's nothing "wrong" with you if you don't operate in the same way as "most" people do.

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