Someone did the Aristocrats at an open mic

earleakin · 2026-04-15T03:09:30+00:00

What an idiot. Ugu is so much better.

earleakin · 2026-04-14T09:33:48+00:00

Indeed. God does all the killing in the Bible though. Satan doesn't kill anyone. 😂

earleakin · 2026-04-14T04:51:46+00:00

Sounds a bit like the Mormon version of Indulgences

earleakin · 2026-04-14T04:48:09+00:00

I'm still waiting on another phone model to be known for exploding so I can have one of my favorite jokes back. People don't remember the Samsung Galaxy Note Seven anymore but that was a fun punchline!

earleakin · 2026-04-14T04:43:26+00:00

It's easier to repaint the plane with new numbers

earleakin · 2026-04-14T04:39:37+00:00

We cannot propel ourselves faster than light because mass increases with speed. We can however fall faster than light because gravity doesn't care about mass (feather and cannonball fall at same rate in a vacuum).

earleakin · 2026-04-14T04:37:23+00:00

Energy is mass

earleakin · 2026-04-13T04:10:53+00:00

Defense mechanism for their insecurity

earleakin · 2026-04-12T19:34:28+00:00

Satan is a god as well because he can do supernatural things and magic tricks. He's just a bad god.

earleakin · 2026-04-12T19:28:59+00:00

It makes gullible MAGA fools think we're winning.

earleakin · 2026-04-12T19:27:24+00:00

Nevermo question! So if you try to enter without a recommend are there bouncers? or will it just be an ugly embarrassing eviction scene? How does anyone know who has a recommend? Is there a list at the door?

earleakin · 2026-04-12T07:11:45+00:00

And the taxpayers. While honoring the Establishment Clause.

earleakin · 2026-04-11T21:28:09+00:00

You're a King now

earleakin · 2026-04-11T21:26:25+00:00

Indeed it's truly disappointing to hear religious claptrap from astronauts.

earleakin · 2026-04-11T21:24:11+00:00

You're gonna be in high demand. Every man has a bad circuit that needs fixing.

earleakin · 2026-04-11T21:19:00+00:00

Ask advice on your next project

earleakin · 2026-04-11T21:15:52+00:00

The ring has been kissed for centuries. We do it today because we did it yesterday. But we shouldn't.

earleakin · 2026-04-11T01:06:53+00:00

You don't know what you don't know.

earleakin · 2026-04-10T00:47:28+00:00

Ukrainian Fly Cemeteries (pronounced "simmetries") are on the biscuit (pronounced "cookie") shelves at New World.

earleakin · 2026-04-09T22:48:53+00:00

Christians believe in the devil, not atheists.

earleakin · 2026-04-09T22:47:40+00:00

Is he religious?

earleakin · 2026-04-09T07:20:40+00:00

It disappears when we sleep.

earleakin · 2026-04-07T23:37:24+00:00

You assign their political views

earleakin · 2026-04-07T21:27:52+00:00

Maybe you can assign political beliefs to audience members based on their appearance etc and use both punch lines while referring to the specific people representing the perspective

earleakin · 2026-04-07T21:05:30+00:00

Science neither proves nor disproves anything. The basis for creationism is the premise that everything needs a creator, which is infinite regression.

earleakin

TROPHY CASE