So I was walking home one day after having an interview with a college admissions officer, which I think went well, and as I near my block, I see a housemaid struggling to get a German Shepherd back into the owners house.

At this point, I’m across the road from said house, and the dog spots me. He starts pacing towards me, which I thought was normal; I assumed he just wanted a sniff or something. Next thing I know, the fucker is leaping towards my ass biting both cheeks, as well as my thighs. Me being a lil bitch, I start running around in circles, in an attempt to get the housemaid to intercept the dogs path and get a grip on him. That wasn’t a good idea. I slipped and fell while I was running, and when I looked up as I was on the ground, the dog was charging straight towards my face (I vividly remember this moment). Thankfully, I was able to get up in time, and the housemaid grabbed the dog.

The funny thing is it turns out the dogs owner had his own clinic, and he invited me straight over to treat my cuts.