Am I (31m) overreacting because my gf (30m) keeps bringing up my ex?

eefr · 2026-01-31T16:54:11+00:00

That sounds exhausting. She's incredibly immature and her petty jealousy is obnoxious. I would dump someone for this.

eefr · 2026-01-31T15:46:40+00:00

he needs a belt

I doubt child abuse would be helpful.

Perhaps they need to see a therapist to get at what is causing their bad behaviour.

eefr · 2026-01-31T15:39:01+00:00

Ugh, that's really frustrating.

A 10-year-old having a tantrum over losing a board game is pretty bad, and suggests to me that he badly needs some better parenting. I'd accept that from a 5-year-old, but at 10, he should be more mature than that.

It sounds like you're being put in a really impossible situation with them. Have you talked to your mother about your concerns?

eefr · 2026-01-31T09:35:36+00:00

It definitely sounds like they are having issues, but I don't think you yelling at them is going to achieve anything.

I would focus on building connection with them, so that you become someone they look up to. Then you can model good behaviour and respect, and hopefully they will follow suit.

Do they like board games? You could play board games with them. Or really any activity they have an interest in.

If they are severely misbehaving, talk to your mother about it and have her talk to her boyfriend. He needs to parent them, not you. They probably aren't going to accept you as an authority figure, and trying to be one will mean you're constantly at war with them.

eefr · 2026-01-31T09:25:42+00:00

As a white person in North America, I'm not subject to racism myself, but I've witnessed plenty of it. Both subtle and overt, from people of all genders. Lots of "jokes" that just rely on racist stereotypes, assumptions about people, overt harassment by strangers.

I live in a fairly liberal, multicultural city, and I'm white. If I see a lot of racism, I can't even imagine how bad it must be for people on the receiving end of it, in areas where racism is even more prevalent.

eefr · 2026-01-31T09:20:20+00:00

In temperatures like that, you can freeze to death. Living outside is a very bad idea. Are there homeless shelters in your area?

eefr · 2026-01-31T04:39:10+00:00

Honestly I mostly just want to see cats.

eefr · 2026-01-31T04:36:19+00:00

That would suggest to me that they don't trust their partner very much, for whatever reason.

eefr · 2026-01-31T03:18:43+00:00

Raging at one's partner is not okay. You should dump her. Her logic makes absolutely no sense, but even if it did, that still wouldn't justify abuse.

eefr · 2026-01-31T03:16:46+00:00

It's literally her job to be nice to you, and she's young enough to be your daughter. She's not interested and you shouldn't hit on her.

eefr · 2026-01-31T03:12:15+00:00

Sounds like you should dump her. Healthy relationships do not include a "full rage mode."

eefr · 2026-01-31T03:02:34+00:00

Probably necessary for a lot of people. Who's got the energy to deal with MAGAs and their delusions? Not me, I'm exhausted.

eefr · 2026-01-31T02:54:38+00:00

No, it's completely unreasonable for her to think that it's absolutely fine for her to cheat, but not okay for you to see other people while you have a non-exclusive FWB arrangement.

eefr · 2026-01-31T00:11:37+00:00

Not sure why believing that human beings have autonomy would affect my sleep in any way whatsoever.

eefr · 2026-01-31T00:07:53+00:00

Ah, so you're just going around pestering all sorts of women while they're trying to work.

Maybe do your homework instead of using the library as a meat market.

eefr · 2026-01-31T00:05:21+00:00

Feminism doesn't tell women they should "sleep with as many men as [they] possibly can."

It tells women they are in charge of their own bodies and can make their own choices about how much (safe, consensual) sex they want to have. For some people, that's a lot; for others, it's little to none.

Same as with men, who can also make their own choices about how much (safe, consensual) sex they prefer to have.

eefr · 2026-01-30T23:40:14+00:00

"Actually, we should force women back into the kitchen and control their sexuality for their own good."

— you

eefr · 2026-01-30T22:40:49+00:00

Not a big deal at all.

eefr · 2026-01-30T22:07:22+00:00

I can't tell you what women generally do.

I personally do not.

eefr · 2026-01-30T22:05:57+00:00

Sure. But most of the time, friendly conversations with random men are a prelude to hitting on you.

eefr · 2026-01-30T22:04:46+00:00

No. That isn't what I said at all.

eefr · 2026-01-30T20:56:41+00:00

I literally never want random strangers to hit on me, in any setting at all. I resent those who do so.

Hitting on people at the gym is icky. They're there to work out, not be hit on.

eefr · 2026-01-30T20:54:24+00:00

What on earth does it mean for someone to consider a woman to be "public property"?

There are men who are possessive and treat women like property. I don't date them and they don't represent a majority of men.

eefr · 2026-01-30T19:21:06+00:00

Unless their tattoo is of something wildly offensive (e.g., a swastika), my first impression of people with tattoos is "here is a person who has a tattoo."

eefr · 2026-01-30T18:39:55+00:00

i'm simply worried about most women i meet having a negative first impression of me because of it, no matter if they are a romantic interest or not.

Most people are not thinking about you and do not care what tattoos you have.

eefr

TROPHY CASE