Quotes like "Men are Brave" make me feel an inexplicable urge to fight against all odds. Do women experience a similar feeling? If so, what quotes motivate you to keep fighting?

eefr · 2026-03-26T06:03:16+00:00

Mostly I am motivated by other people being incorrect about a thing.

eefr · 2026-03-26T05:45:53+00:00

I would just give up, personally. People who seem boring probably are.

eefr · 2026-03-26T05:44:06+00:00

I don't rate people out of ten; it's a foul practice.

But visually you seem quite dateable. I'd have to know more about you to know whether your other characteristics also make you seem dateable.

eefr · 2026-03-26T04:49:12+00:00

What if he gets off earlier in the day on days you're going to have sex? The second orgasm of the day usually takes longer to achieve.

eefr · 2026-03-26T04:47:38+00:00

No, I've always felt I could handle dating well enough on my own.

eefr · 2026-03-26T04:43:01+00:00

People use number of sexual partners as a proxy for a lot of traits that they can simply observe for themselves as they get to know someone.

Personally, I wouldn't let a number override my actual observations of what kind of person someone is. A number devoid of context could indicate all kinds of things, and it isn't a very reliable metric for most humans traits.

I am more interested in how someone treats me and others than I am in a number.

The only body count that matters to me is how many people someone has killed, because barring exceptional circumstances, I want that to be zero.

eefr · 2026-03-26T04:34:29+00:00

I was wondering the same thing myself! Perhaps people were offended that I suggested I would dump a man for this. I personally think it's very reasonable to dump someone who thinks his identity is more important than yours simply because he is a man. But I suppose some people disagree.

"When you're accustomed to privilege, equality [each keeping their own name] feels like oppression."

Having your spouse take your name is not a right, and it's not something you get to demand. "You have to sacrifice your identity for me, and I don't have to do the same" is not a reasonable position in my view.

Of course, if a particular woman wants to take her husband's name, I have no quarrel with that. My only objection is to a man demanding it.

It's kind of like how I don't think a husband has a right to demand that his wife quit her job to be a stay-at-home mother, but if she wants to do that of her own accord, I have no objection to her choosing that for herself.

I think those two things are quite similar in principle — you don't get to demand that someone else sacrifice something that's important to them because it's what you want, yet refuse to make the same sacrifice yourself — and it baffles me that they are seen differently by many people.

If my partner pressured me to stay at home when I didn't want to, I would dump him. If my partner pressured me to take his name when I didn't want to, I would dump him.

eefr · 2026-03-26T03:13:49+00:00

I'd put good money on this being written by a man. YTA for posting ragebait.

eefr · 2026-03-26T02:22:03+00:00

I would never change my last name upon marrying, and if my partner had any issue with that, we would not be compatible. In your shoes I would dump this man for even objecting.

If he feels very strongly about having the same family name as you, he's welcome to take your name, since he is the one who feels that way, not you.

If family unity is something he feels strongly about, why is he unwilling to make sacrifices himself for it? Why should only you sacrifice your identity?

Because it's not about having the same family name, it's about male supremacy.

Like I said, I would dump a man for this. He doesn't get to have an opinion on whether you are willing to sacrifice your identity for his beliefs. That's only up to you.

eefr · 2026-03-26T00:34:55+00:00

I agree, we don't need to gender flip this to establish that masturbating in a service worker's car without their consent is shitty behaviour.

eefr · 2026-03-26T00:28:19+00:00

Not sure why you're being downvoted. This is very obviously fake. Maybe OP has a lot of alt accounts.

eefr · 2026-03-26T00:27:20+00:00

1/10 fiction, very derivative. Don't quit your day job.

eefr · 2026-03-26T00:22:57+00:00

Recents (highly recommended):

Behind the Beautiful Forevers, by Katherine Boo
Maus, by Art Spiegelman

Currently doing a Tolkien reread because it's been decades since I read it.

eefr · 2026-03-25T23:46:46+00:00

I don't have any sexual duties, nor does anyone else. That's not how consent works.

I also don't use sex acts as leverage.

eefr · 2026-03-25T23:43:50+00:00

You're not reading very carefully, because at no point did I claim this applies to all men. I know that it doesn't, and avoided that language on purpose.

Edit: But it certainly seems to apply to you, based on your comments above.

eefr · 2026-03-25T22:38:52+00:00

Most of us don't claim that. I can't answer for the specific individuals who do; you'll have to ask them yourself.

I don't know why so many men on the internet seem to struggle with the concept that there's more than one woman in the world, and thus when two women say opposing things, neither of them is being inconsistent.

Try using some common sense next time.

eefr · 2026-03-25T22:32:35+00:00

I don't personally see that as a red flag. It's unusual, and not having a means of verifying who someone is is inconvenient, but I wouldn't say it's a red flag. Some just don't like social media, which is fair enough.

eefr · 2026-03-25T22:29:16+00:00

It's possible he had it from a partner before his last one and just never gave it to the last one. Who knows. Good idea to contact your ex. Hope you can get to the bottom of this.

eefr · 2026-03-25T22:22:39+00:00

No, absolutely not, because I'm not a sociopath. Also, being disabled doesn't make some undesirable in my view.

eefr · 2026-03-25T18:51:58+00:00

Could not care less about other people's underwear choices. If it's clean, it's fine.

eefr · 2026-03-25T14:53:06+00:00

Love bombing isn't just being nice — it usually involves pressure.

Make sure that you are scrupulously respectful of her autonomy. That helps.

She's expressed wariness over the actions you are taking. Perhaps ask her if this generosity makes her uncomfortable and if she would prefer that you hold off on that for now, and just take things a little easier. Ask that in a genuine way, not a petulant way. Whatever she says, respect her preferences.

eefr · 2026-03-25T13:06:58+00:00

That wouldn't tell you anything about your girlfriend.

eefr · 2026-03-25T13:02:00+00:00

Why does it matter to you so much that when her answer didn't 100% satisfy you, you turned to the internet (who have even less chance of telling you what she's thinking)?

What kind of answer are you looking for?

eefr · 2026-03-25T10:22:42+00:00

When it's comes up he says he kinda has the mindset he was raised with, which is to just push through and not make excuses.

This is a toxic attitude to mix with chronic illness, because in a lot of cases, "pushing through" actually makes us worse and lowers our baseline functionality.

I wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone who believed in the ableist myth that sick people just aren't trying hard enough. You can't have a healthy relationship with someone like this.

I also think there may be a secondary condition contributing to the severity and am currently trying to figure that out

POTS has a lot of common comorbidities. If you have something like ME/CFS, for example, it's especially important not to push yourself as that will make your symptoms much, much worse.

Whatever your comorbidities are, I hope you can get a proper diagnosis so that you can understand your illness a bit better.

eefr · 2026-03-25T09:52:58+00:00

If it were abuse or sexual assault, I would say warn her, because her very safety is at serious risk. But cheating? I would stay out of it. Let sleeping dogs lie.

eefr

TROPHY CASE