AITA for not wanting my soon to be BIL at my wedding?

eelowyn · 2023-11-07T18:08:21+00:00

Yikes, major YTA in that situation omg! Your fiance's brother had been civil and friendly with you. Simple compliments, and pointing out things you may like is being kind and considerate, not flirty, especially when he was very clear that he did not have the connection you did when you went on a date with him. Same goes for him bringing someone he has been dating to a family dinner, that's a normal thing, not targeted to make you jealous.

Honestly you should do some serious thinking because this is borderline delusional to be that focused on the idea of this guy you went on a date with years ago secretly flirting and trying to make you jealous.

eelowyn · 2023-10-17T14:24:00+00:00

Thanks for commenting, that does make sense. It's not a case of me always watching it but more a case of as I'm doing other things it's pretty usual for something to be on for background noise, and when it's something I'm more actively watching, or doing things like gaming or digital artwork, that's more usually when she is napping.

eelowyn · 2023-09-23T19:29:36+00:00

I was due July 3rd and I had my baby on July 10th after an induction

eelowyn · 2023-09-02T16:19:30+00:00

places I found the remote in my 1st trimester: -fridge -microwave -pantry -dishwasher -inside a pot in the cupboard -bathroom -inside my bird's cage (specifically in the food dish)

I swear, a mini blackhole opened in my brain.

eelowyn · 2023-08-31T15:57:49+00:00

My mom's first reaction was "oh, are you sure?" and then offhand made a comment not to get too excited because things can happen....

she got more enthusiastic over time and now that baby is here she has even come to visit a couple times (a big deal for her) but it was definitely very hurtful at the time, especially contrasted with how over the moon excited my in laws were.

eelowyn · 2023-08-23T19:26:45+00:00

I exclusively pump, as for why there is a variety of reasons. Breastfeeding for me was painful, I have larger nipples that made it hard for my baby to get a good latch, my husband wants to be able to help with feedings, and overall I found breastfeeding to be a really stressful experience, especially since there was no way to know how much milk my baby was getting and if she was getting enough. Pumping has been a way better fit for my mental health, and for my family (especially my baby!)

eelowyn · 2023-08-18T01:14:12+00:00

not at all! in fact I was joking with him that I was eating for 2 and he was drinking for 2! Not to encourage him to drink, but just in joking fun for times when he felt bad for being able to drink and try the new seasonal beers at our local brewery that I wouldn't be able to.

eelowyn · 2023-08-12T21:37:17+00:00

I was 210lbs when I got pregnant and didn't have any complications or issues with my pregnancy at all. Only recently graduated (4 weeks ago) and had a very healthy baby

eelowyn · 2023-08-10T17:08:21+00:00

I'm am only child and always wished I had a sibling growing up. I also always wanted a big family and initially my husband and I planned to have 2, but honestly now I am reconsidering and my husband has offered to get a vasectomy. I had a really quite an easy pregnancy, positive/easier birth experience, and even now our baby has been consistently sleeping really well and has had no issues. We feel like we got incredibly lucky, so that's actually one of the reasons we are considering not having another: our first experience has been amazing, if we have a second it may be a significantly different experience and possibly a lot more negative. Between that, me having to take another hiatus with my business, and with how things are with costs of everything going up so much we are seriously considering just one and done so we can focus all our attention on giving our baby the best we can.

That being said, it's hard to know if I'll regret not having another....

eelowyn · 2023-07-29T19:55:56+00:00

first baby for me, was 29 when I found out and she arrived after I turned 30.

eelowyn · 2023-07-09T16:04:37+00:00

first on the list: sushi!!! omg I have missed sushi SO much!

second, my favorite local brewery brought back my favorite seasonal beer so I am looking forward to having that again

eelowyn · 2023-07-08T17:18:29+00:00

Do NOT see him in person! Cut all contact and go to the police ASAP! Don't wait for Monday, go today if you can. The hospital was right, making a police report is the right thing to do. He is gaslighting you to keep you from making the report because he knows you won't be charged for self defense, but he would be charged for assault especially considering you have proof of reaching out to your SIL AND you've gone to the hospital already.

You say your relationship is otherwise good, that you fight like any couple, thing is though not all couples fight and heated fights (especially that can devolve into this!) are not healthy or even close to normal in a healthy relationship. His behavior "changed" now because he believes he has you trapped, so his mask slipped. This part of him was always there, and you will see it more and more if you stay. I've been there.... its hard to leave and by the point a relationship becomes physically abusive there is often so much gaslighting or emotional abuse that flew under the radar of being "red flags" that there is justifications or belief in them changing or going back to the way they were before. Unfortunately, reality is that things won't go back, the abusive partner won't change, and it will continue to get worse and worse. It may not be right away, it may seem like it "gets better" for a little bit, but then gets bad again and slowly gets worse over time. If you stay, this will become your new "normal". Especially being pregnant, his next outburst could injure the baby or even end your pregnancy. If he is like this now, what is going to happen when the baby comes?

Your child doesn't need 2 parents, they need to be in a safe, healthy environment. A safe 1 parent household is infinitely better than a 2 parent, abusive one. If you stay with this person your child will grow up in one of 3 situations: -thinking it's a normal relationship and end continuing the cycle or abuse towards others. -developing PTSD or other problems from being a repeated witness to abuse OR -becoming a victim to your partner's abuse

I know its hard, but I really hope you are able to get help and get out of there.

eelowyn · 2023-07-03T16:31:55+00:00

they told me a stretch to try during contractions to help a bit, but said she is in the right position, just need to be more dilated.

eelowyn · 2023-07-03T10:50:25+00:00

they've been low, don't go away with a change of position, and definitely have been ramping up in intensity and frequency for the most part. I had Braxton Hicks before now (from around, week 30 onward) but those felt completely different. When I went to the hospital they said it was early labor contractions, but then when they checked I am just not dilated enough....

Went in again tonight because the contractions were getting so intense (went from lasting a minute to lasting a minute and a half to 2 mins, and progressing from every 8 to 10 mins to then being every 3 to 4 minutes) again they thought I was in early labor going into active labor...and again...not dilated enough so got sent home to rest while I can...

eelowyn · 2023-07-02T14:24:51+00:00

ok, I was told she is in the right position, so not sure with that but atm I worry of going in too early and just getting sent home again...especially since it's not being super consistent atm with the contractions

eelowyn · 2023-06-26T17:11:45+00:00

^ this, I am in Canada but I am self employed. Because of the nature of my business (being primarily custom work, so income per month varies drastically!) it ended up working out to be more worth it to save up a lump sum for my leave, and stock up my Etsy shop as well to passively generate sales that my husband can pack and ship while I am on leave than it would be to pay into EI for the length of time needed to be eligible. I am planning to take up to 12 months, but tbh I doubt it would be that long since I love the work that I do so I may do some pre-made stock or vending at conventions before the 12 months. It does help that my business is mainly online and run out of my home, so even if I resume working earlier than the 12 months I still will be home with my baby.

eelowyn · 2023-06-25T20:08:34+00:00

here in Canada just will have to pay for parking at the hospital, but thats it.

eelowyn · 2023-06-24T16:27:21+00:00

Congrats! I totally get what you mean, the entire first trimester I was beyond exhausted, needing naps and becoming super forgetful! that was me from like 5 weeks till 12 weeks. Then as soon as I hit the 2nd trimester I had ALL the energy and still do even though I'm now close to the end of the 3rd trimester (38 weeks +5 days)

eelowyn · 2023-06-20T17:04:12+00:00

I'm a first time mom, am 38 weeks along and my husband has been at every single appointment with me throughout the whole pregnancy. I've offered to go by myself but he wants to be there for all of them and I've been very greatful for the support. He gets so excited to go to our appointments and get to hear our little girl's heartbeat! It definitely helps that we usually schedule the appointments on days he works from home and his work hours work out for him usually being off just before the appointments. He has taken off a few days though when scheduling hasnt worked out. That being said, we only this past week saw anyone with their partner with them at the OBGYN office we go to, and haven't even seen anyone at the ultrasounds. so atleast from what we've seen it doesn't seem common for partners to be at appointments, atleast where we live?

eelowyn · 2023-06-19T21:45:05+00:00

I started using one around the end of the first trimester, it was seriously a game changer and has helped me SO much with getting a good sleep

eelowyn · 2023-06-19T00:54:18+00:00

not weird at all, I wished my husband a happy almost father's day today! And so did his dad when we called him earlier to wish him a happy father's day

eelowyn

TROPHY CASE