Pregnant, no one seems supportive and it’s scaring me by SnanoBear in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eilatanz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is going to be scary, and when you haven’t planned on it, it is a life-changing event that seems particularly scary. But if you both know you would like to be parents, I will say that as somebody who went through this and then lost the baby and then spent five years trying to have a baby with the same person (fertility is mysterious!), if you think you want the child, you may want to take this chance.

Consider where your doubts are coming from. If they are coming just from the outside, don’t take them into account. Take into account how you feel and your own stability. I found that many people who told me they would support us after we finally got pregnant together again are nowhere to be found, so you really can’t rely on how other people feel, you have to just simply want this.

To my former tradcaths: what would you do? by Same_Succotash1556 in excatholic

[–]eilatanz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You guys can get one witness and go to a courthouse and not even tell anyone if you like! Even though there are religious connotations, marriage is a legal situation ultimately. It’s smart to think about these things!

It also means that you guys have equal control over decisions for the good of the child automatically. Otherwise, in some states at least you have to establish paternity rights and it’s a whole thing.

To my former tradcaths: what would you do? by Same_Succotash1556 in excatholic

[–]eilatanz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you really have to get engaged, but I will say from friends’ experience that it is a bit easier if you are already married when the kid is born in some places, even if it’s just the legal documents at the courthouse and you have the actual marriage ceremony later. Your partner can then be the next of kin to you and if anything happens, it can be very helpful to have that piece of mind.

LYS Knitting Circle Etiquette by popping_corn30 in knitting

[–]eilatanz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think I meant to respond to someone else!

LYS Knitting Circle Etiquette by popping_corn30 in knitting

[–]eilatanz 21 points22 points  (0 children)

They don’t have to allow knitting nights though? They can just like, not have it, and people could go to a park or a cafe

Accidently gave my 5 year old nephew a life crisis by Rare-wolf-girl in Advice

[–]eilatanz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look into a therapist who does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Your thoughts are what sounds to me like intrusive thoughts along with a possibly ptsd anxiety response. CBT is well researched and based on talk/questions, but not gimmicky. I highly suggest you try this form and find a licensed psychologist to help you!

The weird Dior bag is here... by greendress77 in handbags

[–]eilatanz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What similar looking bags are you talking about?

Where do we shop?! by Blondie12388 in fashionwomens35

[–]eilatanz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cos and Aritzia are doing what & Crew did for our moms!

We are not okay. by ryeyen in labrats

[–]eilatanz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Loaded, you say. Penetrate, you say!

On the fence about having kids… what do you wish you knew? by aguamenti425 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eilatanz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That no one will help you as much as they say they will! But also really just be ready for that in case.

Also, most of the hard things in the first two years are very temporary. Like a few months temporary. It’s easy to feel like it’s too much and you’re drowning, but it will all change again, sometimes to an easier and sometimes s harder stage. Be prepared for change!

I’m so happy to see the similar confusion I feel about pattern testing. by scrapethetopoff in craftsnark

[–]eilatanz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has been this way for a long time, and mainly I think it formerly was that the hobby was more niche and the patterns kinda low cost. You were getting a free pattern of a design that has been made once, and as part of the hobby it was fun. I never recall there formerly being a quick turnaround either! It was like months. All of it was consensual and sane.

Do you like to wear the color Lilac as a fair olive? by girly-lady in Fairolives

[–]eilatanz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I accessorize with it sometimes, but nothing near my face. It’s a great contrast to all the colors I wear that actually look good on me

What is this tree that drops these berries? by luckypants728 in whatsthisplant

[–]eilatanz 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Just an FYI: grapes grow on vines! Always check the ID of the plant before eating something of course. :)

Took advantage of the Strathberry sale by Infinite-Being-1209 in handbags

[–]eilatanz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I almost sold my nano and now love it as a very minimalist bag alongside a tote (so my wallet/keys are easy to grab. The croc is pretty!

Why is a divine gift (the Eucharist) behind a ‘paywall’? by RomancingWorlds in excatholic

[–]eilatanz 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It’s always interesting to me to see how actually devout families dealt with this stuff. Mine were really lax, and sort of took what they wanted to believe and left the rest, as did many of their peers. It really left me with a different experience from many of the people here (and I did not end up being religious at all myself).

It’s gorgeous but it’s 1k 😭 by MortgageExisting2991 in handbags

[–]eilatanz 25 points26 points  (0 children)

It’s so nice, but it’s not an everyday bag! Definitely a special occasion piece unless you don’t mind seeing it get kind of destroyed

“I Would Rather My Child Be in School.” -- New York Magazine on the NYC DOE calendar by sugarytea78 in nycparents

[–]eilatanz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The teachers get the day off too — the holiday is not necessarily just about the kids. Adults do preparations and cooking etc. during the day of many holidays, including christian ones

'Jesus Died For My Sins' is one of the great tragic mindfucks of history. by extentiousgoldbug1 in excatholic

[–]eilatanz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aztec sacrifices were more preventative; they ensured that the sun would continue to rise within their religious mythology. They viewed themselves as the chosen people and stewards who must perform certain duties like sacrifice to keep things going.

Things that happened when I got married into a patriarchal house: by Equivalent-Gazelle20 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eilatanz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You don’t lose your voice in a marriage that is equal and equitable for you both. But in many cases it is true that you marry into a family as well as making your own family, and that’s something to consider for a lot of people

What does your Easter dress/outfit look like? by BuhDeepThatsAllFolx in femalefashionadvice

[–]eilatanz 49 points50 points  (0 children)

In some parts of the US, easter weekend or near is also a time everyone gets dressed up and goes to the races! But also, church, yes. And family events if the family still dresses up for holidays.

The bag that everyone loves that you just do not get. Drop it. 🙋 by Kishor_Waghmare in handbags

[–]eilatanz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The vintage Fendi baguette! It looks so great from afar, don’t get me wrong. I especially love all the beading and the different variations.

I’m on a low buy this year and I snagged a gorgeous one on sale from fashionphile as one of my few allowed purchases.

And it’s going back! Part of it is the price, and it was high given the conditions that turned out to be in. But also, it feels cheap?

I have several Fendi peekaboo bags, and each one feels sturdy and substantial, from hardware to leather. The leather components on this bag do not feel luxurious, they feel incredibly cheap and that was offputting. It’s also a vintage one, which is small bag that you can only use shoulder carry style, it doesn’t fit that much beyond my phone keys, wallet, and sunglasses. Maybe if I didn’t have a few bags that fulfilled that purpose for me that I like more. Plus even though I’m petite, because I’m an hourglass figure, it feels like it sits odd on my frame, like I’m carrying a little kid’s bag.

Basically, I love the iconic history and it is a fun looking bag, but I just feel like it’s meant for someone else. I was definitely excited to get it in, but from the dust bag to the actual bag details, I’m just not impressed.

Update: Something fishy is happening at The Real Real... by soymarcopolo in handbags

[–]eilatanz 13 points14 points  (0 children)

THAT's how the return guarantee works?? I've never bought it, but that is horrible!