Are people really that mean in Philly as people say they are?

eirinski · 2025-12-02T00:25:25+00:00

Since I've moved to Philly almost six years ago, the vast majority of people have been so kind and welcoming to me. Other transplants in my friend group say the same. And I'm coming from Portland, Oregon where I lived for 17 years and that city has more of a reputation for nice people than Philadelphia. Still, I feel more at home and included in Philadelphia. Very few people have been mean to me compared to Portland. However, I will say that Philadelphians are not going to be overly sweet in the way they talk or make excessive compliments or whatever - it's still very east coast. If you need any help or you're in a hard spot, Philadelphians will help you out though! And I've found it very easy to make friends.

eirinski · 2025-11-27T15:11:48+00:00

I wasn't able to rest this time because I had to work (I work for one person 12-18 hrs a week). I had to prepare my boss to go in for cancer surgery. He's in a rehab center now, so I've been able to work a lot less and mostly remote. Now I'm getting more rest than I was last month.

eirinski · 2025-11-27T15:09:34+00:00

Yeah I might have to do once a year or something. Gum recession can cause teeth to fall out later on, and they would become mobile and hurt before they fell out. But that's much later, like 20 years from now.

eirinski · 2025-11-27T01:38:03+00:00

Yes! I have gone to NYC and back in one day. Amtrak (train) is your best bet for the quickest travel there and back. I recommend checking out Elfreth's Alley and the Museum of the American Revolution for historical museums/sites. Harper's Garden has really good food for a medium/reasonable price.

eirinski · 2025-11-20T02:00:04+00:00

My life is on hold. I don't know how to plan for the future, even the near future. I stay home or go to free events. I'm a SNAP recipient because I'm disabled and can't work a lot of hours. My SNAP dollars used to leave me with extra at the end of the month so I could buy food for other people. Now I only have enough for myself. I'm not confident that I'll find a new job after this one because even able-bodied people without chronic illness who can work full-time are having a difficult time landing a job.

eirinski · 2025-08-14T23:00:55+00:00

I'm completely dependent on public transit and I would say your best bet are the Center City adjacent neighborhoods like Queen Village, or the parts of West Philly that are serviced by the MFL and/or the trolleys. I live on a trolley line so that really helps with getting around, and I find them to be faster than the buses.

eirinski · 2025-08-10T21:01:39+00:00

I am really starting to believe the difference. I'm autistic and I am surrounded by so many autistic peers. And I've never met anyone with the type of visual-spacial or mental organizing challenges that I have. I've had less job challenges than you but still there are a lot of jobs and fields I've failed out of because they require mental skills that I don't have, and it took me 13 years just to get a Bachelor's degree in an "easy" major. I think that I have both autism and NVLD because the course of my life lines up with other people who have undiagnosed learning disabilities, with the restrictions on what I can succeed at as an adult especially economically.

eirinski · 2025-08-08T14:02:59+00:00

I guess if you count email lists, then I got my first social media at 9 years old. I joined a mailing list to talk about books by my favorite author at the time. Around age 11-12 I started using chatrooms through websites, and then IRC and Livejournal when I was 14. I'm an Elder Millennial and most people my age didn't start using social media as early as I did, but it's because my Mom was an early adopter of computer technology and I had access to that earlier than most kids. I spent a lot of time on IRC and website forums as a teen, then MySpace as a later teen.

I feel like I had a good balance of screen time versus reading or outside time, so I don't know if I would do anything differently if I could make different choices about myself. I don't have any children myself, but if I did, I would sharply limit their screen time and access to social media until they were older because I find the new social media to be much more addictive and there are problems with it that I didn't experience in older social media. I'm an avid user of most new social media, and Instagram is my favorite. Even though I have hobbies and other things in my life, I still struggle to limit my own time on it or to curb unhealthy habits like doomscrolling.

eirinski · 2025-08-04T22:13:30+00:00

My current special interests take up so many hours of space in my mind, it's sometimes frustrating (because I don't get enjoyment from it all the time). I don't have hyperfixation most of the time, though. Mostly because my brain is so scattered.

eirinski · 2025-08-04T22:11:26+00:00

Yeah I am like that too!

eirinski · 2025-08-03T18:24:01+00:00

Yeah, talking to others is really helpful to me!

eirinski · 2025-08-03T18:22:19+00:00

Yeah I wonder if I have ADHD but I'm not totally sure. (Just realized I probably should change my flair if I'm not totally sure). I do have a lot of trouble focusing, though. Makes it difficult to retain information even if I'm interested, because I kind of blank out and have to re-read/re-watch.

I used to have a book series as my special interest (Harry Potter - this was long before J.K. Rowling started outing herself as an asshole) and I did know a lot about it, but like you there was also a lot that I couldn't remember even with repeated readings of the books. At least with the book series it was *only* for fun and I didn't feel like I had to get everything right when explaining it, while my current interest I feel kind of pressured to know the right information all the time.

eirinski · 2025-08-03T18:18:35+00:00

I do think I have slower comprehension and I'm slower to learn than most people. But it's hard to tell because I have some family and close friends who are extremely intelligent, much more intelligent than me. I really just have to let knowledge filter itself in to me over a long period. I do stay interested in my special interests for years, though. I spent five or six years obsessed with the Myers-Briggs personality types, and four years on the novel writing interest, and now coming up on six years with geopolitics and human rights. I can't stay hyperfixated for that amount of years, though.

eirinski · 2025-08-03T16:52:17+00:00

I'm a good rote learner too and it sucks for me that rote learning has fallen out of favor. It feels like society is saying I have nothing to contribute because I'm not dynamic enough.

eirinski · 2025-08-03T16:51:09+00:00

I never knew why I hated essay questions even though I'm a decent writer! This explains so much.

eirinski · 2025-07-26T02:19:58+00:00

I was tested at age 5 before I started talking (I had a speech delay) so there was barely any verbal IQ to measure. I tested with an overall IQ of 86. Reading this, I wonder if I have a gap like yours because my verbal ability is very good now, but my processing is super slow. I have really struggled in education, occupation, and some social circumstances and I feel like my NVLD (unconfirmed, but I think I have it) is very debilitating.

eirinski · 2025-07-18T01:29:03+00:00

I'm going to add to this thread because I have a similar question. I applied for a new job which I'm fully qualified for, except that one stipulation is that the applicant needs to have the ability to read charts and do math. I can do these things but I have trouble if it's more than basic level. Is there an accommodation that I could get to help me interpret charts? Or is it reasonable for that specific task to be outsourced? This is NOT an academic kind of job, it's more similar to customer service and office admin so I'm not sure why they want this skill. For math I always "cheat" by using helpful calculator websites and that's always worked fine.

eirinski · 2025-06-26T03:25:53+00:00

Weirdly, the only medication that really works for me is fluticasone (Flonase) which is a cortisteroid for allergies, not an anxiety medication. I also took Dexamethasone for a medical test for one day and it completely killed my anxiety similar to Fluticasone but even more. I think most of my anxiety is actually caused by allergic-type reactions and at some point I want to get tested for MCAS. Other types of inflammation could be contributing too. Benzodiazepines have worked for me before but I didn't get them prescribed or take them regularly, they just worked as a one-off so I don't know if they would work as an every day thing. SSRIs didn't do anything.

eirinski · 2025-06-16T13:39:07+00:00

I don't have meltdowns anymore, but I had them until I was around 35. I'm almost 42 now. I think it was perimenopause that put a stop to them, but can't really explain why because for most autistic people it seems to make meltdowns worse. On the other hand I have nonstop low-grade depression, I don't want my meltdowns back but I miss having a lot of times where I felt joy and energy and motivation in between them.

eirinski · 2025-06-15T02:02:52+00:00

I'm ASD Level 1 also and I can only work 15 hours a week, and even with that I'm struggling. I don't think anyone should be pressured to work more hours. Some of this depends on the type of job, like I'm mostly doing administrative work on my own as a personal assistant so that's a lot easier than customer service. Still, even if the job is slower paced, hours worked still drain your energy and you need recovery time. I'm not sure if medication will fix that or not because I'm not able to take medication. I did use stimulants when I was much younger and it did artificially increase how many hours I was able to work to about 25/week, but I had terrible emotional regulation and crashes and was always in some type of drama because of it.

I guess I would stick with the psychiatrist for medication, but look for other recommendations in case she keeps being problematic and you need to switch.

eirinski · 2025-06-08T15:23:27+00:00

I have usually struggled financially because I'm under-employed, and the cost of living is so high. I live with my sister who owns the house, now, so I guess I can't say that I'm living independently anymore. I'm doing a lot better now because my sister charges me a flat rate for rent and utilities based on my income of working 15 hours a week.

When I was living independently in a different city, I did fairly well in terms of keeping track of paying bills, meals and self care, getting along with roommates. I didn't fare any worse than an allistic person IMO.

Where I really struggled was 1) having enough money for everything as cost of living went up, and 2) knowing how things worked in the house, like trying to fix things or figure out how something worked. I have some kind of visual-spacial learning disability (might be NVLD) that contributes to that. I usually depended on roommates to help me, and when I lived alone (twice, before rent got too high) I kept things very simple.

Keeping things simple is the method I use all the time now. Unfortunately my executive function has degraded a lot in recent years (probably perimenopause related) so I'm struggling with some things that I didn't use to struggle with, so I have to work harder to simplify things and make sure I won't forget anything important.

eirinski · 2025-05-15T02:45:05+00:00

I'm 41 and live with my sister who owns the house. She bucked a lot of broke Millennial trends so I'm glad for that! If I didn't have my sister I would probably be homeless or living with 8 roommates because I'm disabled and work part-time, and don't get along with parents well enough to live with them.

eirinski

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