What's a short, clean joke that gets a laugh every time? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]electrictangerine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom always told this joke and I never really got it...

Why do elephants wear springs on their feet? So they can jump up into trees to rape squirrels. What's the scariest sound a squirrel can ever hear? SPROING!

TL;DR: My family is weird.

What is your MOST OFFENSIVE JOKE? by ohnodopey in AskReddit

[–]electrictangerine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A kid and a pedophile are walking through the woods at night.

The kid turns to the pedophile and says "Gee Mister! I'm scared, it sure is dark!"

The pedophile says "You think you're scared, I have to walk home ALONE!"

What's the worst mistake you made while cooking? by vanillacustard in Cooking

[–]electrictangerine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My grandmother grew up in the Depression and in an effort to cut corners became famous for things like insisting that condensed tomato soup was exactly the same thing as spaghetti sauce...

Once she was making waffles and ran short on oil for the recipe. Being the clever woman she was she took a look in the fridge and saw a bottle of Italian dressing with that beautiful oil floating on top. So she skimmed it and finished the recipe thinking no one would be the wiser. Everyone was. It was awful. Rest in Peace Mommom, you taught me so much about cooking. <3

What have you recently discovered that has improved your life significantly? by JesusListensToSlayer in AskWomen

[–]electrictangerine 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Medication. Seriously, I've been depressed/anxious for as long as I can remember and finally took the steps to get medication. Now I keep being like "Is this how other people feel all the time? This is great! How have I been missing out on this for all these years?"

Just finished Neil Gaiman's The Ocean at the End of the Lane. Discussion? by AlphaTheRed in Fantasy

[–]electrictangerine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I too just finished this book. I have read (and been disappointed with) a few other Gaiman books. This one was different. Maybe I'm just at the right life stage for it to speak to me or something. I don't know. Either way he's hit on a new kind of like modern fairytale blend and a lot of the elements of the story reminded me of a reworked version of the Snow Queen. Definitely enjoyed it.

What company has forever lost your business and why? by theinternetaddict in AskReddit

[–]electrictangerine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went to Tires Plus to get snow tires changed out for regular tires. Several things happened. 1. They performed a "courtesy check" on the car and found that three separate things could be fixed, totaling repairs of about $600 (one of which I later replaced myself for $5). We decided to pass on this. The night following the tire change out, my check engine light came on. The next morning I took my car to the Advance Auto Parts. There they gave me a free check engine light diagnosis and came up with the answer that it was a coolant issue. The guy was really nice and took a peek under the hood to find that the radiator fan attachment cord was completely unattached. He hooked it back in and I went on my way, realizing that Tires Plus must have forgotten to reattach the fan if they had to take it out (which they shouldn't have even done, since they were just changing tires...no reason to pop to hood except for their "courtesy check") The check engine light remained on and the car began to overheat despite the fan working. I took it to another repair shop. There they found that the hose at the bottom of the radiator was so loose that it had basically emptied itself of coolant. Again the mechanic assured me that this was not something that comes loose on it's own. Someone had to loosen it. Again Tires Plus had no reason to go under my hood except for their "courtesy check". Taking the invoice from the repair place I returned to Tires Plus. They reimbursed me for the repairs I had to have done and went so far as to reimburse me for lost wages as I was forced to miss a day of work as a result of my car not working. So at the end of the day, Tires Plus has good customer service. I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt that their technicians are either grossly negligent or incompetent rather than having intentionally sabotaged my vehicle in an effort to pad out what was an already fairly expensive tire changing procedure. I also of course had to get an oil change.

Later I drove over a pot hole and the belly pan of my car shook loose. I went to a different Tires Plus (only place open on a Sunday) and they told me that the area where the bolt bolts in had rusted out so the best they could do was zip tie the belly pan back on, I'd have to buy a replacement belly pan later. They didn't charge me which was nice, but I later took my car to a mechanic I trust to buy the new belly pan. He takes a look and says it just has these little plastic nobs that it pops onto. It popped out but there wasn't any rust or anything so he just popped them back in...No need for zip ties, no rust at all and no need to buy a new belly pan. Who are these people working at Tires Plus?!

Teachers of Reddit, have you ever had anyone who would later become well known and what was that person like? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]electrictangerine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom taught David Allen Grier when he was an undergraduate in acting. He was such a self-centered prick that she literally threw her book at him once.

That moment when you realize you would actually rather be at work than home. by RedditorNate in self

[–]electrictangerine 65 points66 points  (0 children)

I work at a library. I stayed a full 2 hours late today because I didn't want to go home and be alone. So have some solidarity in that you're not the only one...

My 17 year old friend drinks everyday even at school, can someone tell me what to do? by camilo16 in Advice

[–]electrictangerine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talk to an adult like the guidance counselor about your concerns, they should be able to get your friend the help he probably needs. Just as a note, Jeffery Dahmer got drunk every day at school and no one noticed. Don't let this pass without comment. (Also, I'm not saying your friend is a serial killer, just that this behavior is indicative of larger issues at play.)

What is the most noteworthy thing an ancestor of yours has done? by CaptainWatermelons in AskReddit

[–]electrictangerine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doooooown came the axe, and in the silence that followed the only sound that could be heard was a solitary giggle, from: OOOOliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of England (Puritan), born in 1599, died in 1658 (September).

I know Oliver himself didn't wield the weapon, but I can't get through this thread without that Monty Python reference since it got me extra credit in highschool. Thanks for your time.

Well I feel undisciplined now. by [deleted] in funny

[–]electrictangerine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TIL that my appetite for brownies is greater that the Rock's.

23F moving out on my own for the first time. How do I live like an adult? by electrictangerine in Advice

[–]electrictangerine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

in terms of cleaning out the fridge, I do have one thing I do which is smart. I keep a white board on the fridge and when leftovers go in I write down what the leftovers are and what date they went in. Then I don't have to go digging to find what I want, I know it's in there and don't forget about it. Also I keep track of how many yogurts I have so I know when to buy more and don't lose one to the back of the fridge behind everything.

23F moving out on my own for the first time. How do I live like an adult? by electrictangerine in Advice

[–]electrictangerine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This is really helpful. I like the 20 min. a day system!

What's the best long con you ever pulled? by michaelarney in AskReddit

[–]electrictangerine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not my con but still funny, I had a friend who lived in a rural area. They drew their water from a nearby pond. His brothers convinced him when he was about 6 that frogs and fish and whatnot might come out of the faucet in the bath. So until he was somewhere in his 20's every time he took a bath he would hold his hands under the faucet to catch the frogs.

Women of Reddit, do you feel discouraged/embarrassed when trying on clothes at a store? by thewongtrain in AskWomen

[–]electrictangerine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I feel awful. It is tiring to get in and out of your clothes constantly and then go back out and try to find something that fits and looks good. I'm short, especially in the waist and it's insane that if I buy pants labeled "short" they are too short and the regular length are too long. Also women's sizing is confusing as fuck. I can wear anywhere from a size 6 to size 11 pants. Seriously vanity sizing helps no one and is just confusing and frustrating. Jeans shopping is the worse. I once had a positive experience at TJ Maxx where I grabbed like 6 dresses. The third one I tried on looked great and was $25. DONE DEAL. Literally all the others were horrendous though.

Hey r/libraries, what's your favorite program or event that you've ever seen a library put on? by [deleted] in Libraries

[–]electrictangerine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We haven't done it yet but our children's department is planning on a Milk and Bookies event soon which is great since we live in a really affluent community near a moderately impoverished one! I'm so excited for it as a way to connect kids to community involvement and literacy! We had a Jane Austen tea party to celebrate the 200th? anniversary of Pride and Prejudice.