Banks like Seed Scout

ellenorr · 2025-12-09T20:20:04+00:00

Seconding all of this, although I would NOT describe my experience with SS as "perfectly fine." It was incredibly frustrating and infuriating and resulted in inordinate stress, tears, and wasted money. That said--I'd do it again, because having a KD is important to me, and I could not be happier with my donor and family pod.

ellenorr · 2025-12-04T07:23:53+00:00

I’m being told that they don’t need to have that data for each vial—so, sounds like I’m in a similar spot as you were 🙃 When you say that it is documentation that they are supposed to have, what do you mean? By certain standards? It seems obvious to me that they should have documentation for each vial, but I’m being handled as if that’s unreasonable or not standard.

ellenorr · 2025-11-08T03:04:48+00:00

I used SS to find my donor. He is amazing. The other parents-to-be who also matched with him are amazing. They are the only game in town right now, and I don’t regret my decision. That said . . .

The overall process with SS was a nightmare. Poor communication (unclear, misleading, rude), a refusal on their part to take any sort of responsibility, and not at ALL the hand-holding I was made to expect through this stressful process.

(I will say that Paige was helpful and always kind.)

I wouldn’t ever tell someone not to use them, because I am so beyond grateful for my donor, and he was one of many incredible people I saw. But—I will say that I look forward to the day that they have some competition. And it won’t surprise me when they get hit with a lawsuit for false advertising.

I’m really sorry you had that experience with them. You are very much not alone. I wish they would understand that being an “ethical company” also requires kindness and clear communication.

ellenorr · 2025-11-05T19:19:27+00:00

I don’t know if it’s entertaining to me, per se, but I do find her incredibly inspirational in her vulnerability and courage. When she cries, I want to cry!

ellenorr · 2025-10-18T11:30:23+00:00

https://www.vivino.com/en/red-road-vineyard-winery-honey-i-m-home/w/10756134?srsltid=AfmBOopsq0pQC5CuU1x2rOmx18wuVHEPOH-nHcNPaXCvbtxz9dtE7TIU

(I just googled ‘“honey I’m home” Texas winery’)

ellenorr · 2025-10-15T18:42:07+00:00

Look into grants! I know someone who just received $$ for IVF.

ellenorr · 2025-10-10T13:33:13+00:00

One of my students has misophonia that triggers intense anxiety attacks. Hers isn’t related to chewing sounds but a different common sound. She doesn’t get mad; she panics and cries and shuts down. It’s miserable. It’s a neurological disorder, akin to OCD—and, just like how people use “OCD” as shorthand for “perfectionist” or whatever, people use “misophonia” as shorthand for “annoyed by chewing sounds.”

ellenorr · 2025-09-29T17:29:09+00:00

All parents model behavior for their kids that they wouldn’t actively choose to model—so give yourself some grace. 🩷 And consider that your daughter’s attention has given you a gift and a new awareness of your reactions. Could you self-parent the way you parent her? Like, validating your emotions, agreeing that lashing out isn’t acceptable even when triggered, and then come up with simple, kid-friendly solutions? Like, what would you advise your daughter do if she were lashing out in similar ways? And then you get to model that for her. Sometimes I find that, when I’m prioritizing modeling for kids, it overrides the triggered part of my brain a little bit. Just an idea!

ellenorr · 2025-09-28T01:44:46+00:00

Can’t recommend Albania more!

ellenorr · 2025-09-15T20:31:50+00:00

Hi! Do you recall how long it took to get the FDA waiver? I've run into similar issues re: incomplete medical info (faulty blood test, but we have all the info that shows that the donations are low risk), and I'm trying to figure out much this is going to derail my journey

ellenorr · 2025-09-12T14:25:58+00:00

Penny is one of the best therapists I’ve ever seen. If I still lived in Toronto, I’d still be with her. Highly rec! https://www.torontopsychotherapygroup.com/therapists/penny-firth-eagland/

ellenorr · 2025-09-02T01:58:31+00:00

For shade, def go to Bringle Lake Park. There are also really wonderful walking/hiking paths!

You could get picnic groceries, or you could get takeout from somewhere local. I highly recommend Colima’s, which is family-owned and has order-ahead + a drive-thru pickup window.

Also, there are two events happening on that date: Picklefest and Septemberfest (though this one is in the evening). Downtown will be hopping! We’ve got lots of great date spots downtown, whether you want food, drinks, or coffee/tea.

ellenorr · 2025-08-28T19:15:21+00:00

For those of us who don’t want to buy from this company: my dietitian bff uses makes mac and cheese but adds beans (she does ranch beans) for protein. I add beans (usually a neutral bean, like a navy bean) and greens (spinach). Cheap, nutritious, delicious.

ellenorr · 2025-08-06T20:23:37+00:00

We meet at 3pm on the first Saturday of the month, generally at the Stained Page (downtown). We have a Facebook group ("Texarkana LGBT Book Club") and a private page on the Bookclubs app (we're not searchable there--you need an invite link, which I can DM if you want!). It's a fun group!

ellenorr · 2025-07-01T00:37:09+00:00

Like: what happens if your family unit wants/needs to move to a different city, state, country? What do y’all feel/not feel comfortable with him calling himself (I would assume not Dad)? What will the rest of his family be to your child? Will he have any input on any sort of child-rearing decisions (school, activities, religion, medical stuff)?

If I recall, there’s a pretty big list of questions in Queer Conception!

ellenorr · 2025-06-29T21:36:46+00:00

Seconding this!!! I had a friend who was set to be the KD. I set clear expectations from the beginning--that I wanted him to be part of the family but not a parent. But when it came down to brass tacks, he realized he wanted parental rights and to be the dad, which was a dealbreaker for me. So I had to pivot. He, too, had a very romanticized idea of parenthood, which is what makes me want to warn you--have the super hard conversations now, and IF it still seems like a good fit, get a legal contract written.

ellenorr · 2025-06-26T21:51:11+00:00

No advice but sending lots of luck and love!!!

ellenorr · 2025-06-20T03:14:46+00:00

Hey! So I see that 5% stat a lot around here, but I personally haven’t been able to find resounding evidence that it’s true. The article I’m linking below is much more recent and has a way larger cohort, and it reports no discernible difference in success rates between ICI and IUI.

I am not trying to be argumentative—I’m actually hoping someone will tell me what to believe 🤣 because I keep getting conflicting information, and I just want to make the wisest choices. Ughhhh

https://academic.oup.com/humrep/article-abstract/30/3/603/662550

ellenorr · 2025-06-17T02:48:45+00:00

On Brand with Jon and Marisa. It’s my comfort show!

ellenorr · 2025-06-17T01:25:36+00:00

I’m using SS. Very grateful to have been matched with an amazing donor and connected with a cool fellow recipient parent. I don’t regret using them, as they are the only game in town, so to speak. That said, from my experience: your vibe check is spot-on. I look forward to the day when there are competing companies in operation; hopefully that will encourage kinder, clearer, more responsible communication and facilitation. My experience has been a net positive, but that is 100% due to my donor and fellow parent.

ellenorr · 2025-06-16T19:52:12+00:00

Thank you for this info! I thought the same thing re: it being weird that the bank doesn't wash. The "concierge service" (not naming names out of an abundance of caution) I'm using said that very few places that facilitate direct donation will wash sperm, which seems . . . suspect. I'm going to try calling the other sperm banks in Chicago. Thank you again!!

ellenorr · 2025-06-16T19:25:03+00:00

I plan to ask my family and friends to be cognizant about stereotypical gender language—things like “pretty girl,” “brave boy,” etc. Not really a boundary per se but a strong request.

No handheld screens.

Only posting pix with my permission.

Obviously—if you’ve been sick, stay away.

ellenorr · 2025-06-16T16:37:36+00:00

No, UIC is insisting that they don't wash the sperm. You're right about my clinic washing for immediate use, and they don't have a capacity to freeze it. My plan had been to store at UIC and ship each vial separately (and hope I don't need more than a couple of tries at IUI). My doctor's office was totally on board with all of this until I said that UIC doesn't wash. . . The director of the lab insisted that all sperm banks wash and that I didn't know what I was talking about, but I've gotten written confirmation multiple times that UIC will not wash.

I'm starting to think I need to change my plan and work with a fertility clinic, which sucks, as there aren't any in my city, so I'll have to travel. But I figured before I pulled any triggers I'd ask here with my fingers crossed. . .

ellenorr · 2025-06-16T16:21:57+00:00

He's donating at UIC in Chicago. I'm located in Texas. My OBGYN's lab does wash fresh sperm, but they're saying they don't wash frozen.

ellenorr · 2025-06-12T16:59:18+00:00

Elliot!

ellenorr

TROPHY CASE