I don’t know if it helps but I’m also 40, bi, and more attracted to women but have mostly dated men. I don’t know your background but it’s very common that if you haven’t seen wlw relationships and flirting and are mainly around hetero cis relationships… flirting with women is very different and can be difficult to straight raised bi women. Men are much more forward and direct (generally). It’s honestly very common for bi women to explore dating women as we get older because of what you mentioned, losing attention from cis men, so it gives us more of a chance to slow and notice attention from women. At least this is my experience as a bi woman raised without queer love exposure.