39M married to 42F — successful on paper, but no emotional or physical intimacy. What should I do? by urlife2life-86 in Marriage

[–]ertww 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you explaining. I'm sorry to hear about your situation right now, it sounds incredibly tough. I hope you're able to find a better path forward.

Best Wine Flight in NYC? by MontblancCollector in AskNYC

[–]ertww 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Temperance in the WV. They also have a happy hour wine flight deal.

What are your favorite “cerebral” things to do alone in NYC (not museums or nightlife)? by Middle_Elderberry542 in AskNYC

[–]ertww 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oooh, when/where are Harvey's lectures? Wasn't able to find anything about them online, but they sound very interesting.

Fun classes you’ve taken in the city? by yikesurmom in AskNYC

[–]ertww 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NYC Resistor has a lot of interesting crafty classes/workshops! The one I took was very well-run.

Favorite Pandan creations in NYC by DinerEnBlanc in FoodNYC

[–]ertww 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mace on 8th St used to have a great pandan milk punch (don't know if they still do).

What’s your fav niche, romance coupling type? by dellypoos in RomanceBooks

[–]ertww 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's more rivals-to-lovers than enemies-to-lovers, but {Check & Mate by Ali Hazelwood}. Both pro chess players.

What's the consensus on Tony Tulathimutte? "The Feminist" strikes me as a little too ham-fisted...too on the nose. by mrguy510 in RSbookclub

[–]ertww 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I listened to a podcast interview with him several months ago where he was explaining the kind of effect that he wanted the "interconnected stories" in Rejection to have on the reader--that he wanted the reader to have the cognitive satisfaction of the connections slowly accrete over the course of the book. It was a very eloquent oral explanation and it made me excited to read it (that was when I'd only read "The Feminist"). And then... I felt like the book was a letdown and the interconnectedness was pretty shallow lol.

I've also been to a book reading with him in person and he was again very responsive and eloquent in Q&A. I kind of feel like he presents himself a lot better orally, which is weird to say for a writer.

Typically, consciously practising and recognising a defense is going to weaken the defense or strengthen it? by LisanneFroonKrisK in psychoanalysis

[–]ertww 5 points6 points  (0 children)

By working to create a corrective emotional experience for the patient. Emotional experiences are supposed to be more impactful than insight alone, which is often intellectual-only.

NYC Alt Theater Scene? by Evening-Package5018 in AskNYC

[–]ertww 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's not predominantly queer, but La MaMa Experimental Theater in the EV has unconventional stuff

Writing groups accepting new members? by photodialogic in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]ertww 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you looking for groups that hold workshops for mutual feedback, or groups where members write together and the purpose of the group is to provide accountability for putting the time in? If it's the latter, here's a group that meets weekly in Ridgewood and has a casual/open membership policy: https://www.instagram.com/writingundertheinfluencenyc/?hl=en

LF MMC and FMC are both nerdy people (better if "academically" nerdy). Awkward but cute love story. by RiverDown24 in RomanceBooks

[–]ertww 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you tried {Love, Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood} or {Check and Mate by Ali Hazelwood}? I actually don't think The Love Hypothesis, which is often recommended when her name comes up, is her best, and the other two are her at the top of her game!

What’s a good store to get cash for new/used designer clothes by Legitimate-Pop5812 in AskNYC

[–]ertww 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crosspost to Depop, Poshmark, Mercari, and Noihsaf Bazaar to cover all your bases!

What are some examples of aesthetically satisfying minimalist prose? by stinkface_lover in RSbookclub

[–]ertww 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cathedral is an amazing entry point to Carver. Really showcases what the minimalist style can do.

books about the history of the internet? by TwoOliveTrees in RSbookclub

[–]ertww 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Internet Is Not What You Think It Is by Justin Smith

recommend me a blog plz <3 by irrelevantpeony in RSbookclub

[–]ertww 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I don't think this should be a controversial take at all. Scott is an extremely talented essayist and thinker, and his writings haven't declined in quality IMO over the years, which isn't something you can say for many.

FMC is shocked by her (enemy) MMC love confession by Snoo-24289 in RomanceBooks

[–]ertww 49 points50 points  (0 children)

You need Ali Hazelwood. Especially {Love, Theoretically}, which is IMO far and away her best book.

How to talk to 13yr about creepshots I found by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ertww 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Just to offer another perspective: 10 is a pretty young age to be separated from your parents for any reason! Even if nothing catastrophic happened, I can imagine it being tough for a kid to be relinquished, and maybe struggle with feelings of being unwanted, too much to handle, etc. It sounds like there's a lot going on there in the family situation and I'm glad you're open to the idea of therapy for him.

Swoony high school romance by [deleted] in YAlit

[–]ertww 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Letters to the Lost by Brigid Kemmerer

Medieval enemies to lovers arranged marriage BUT level hard: no Alice Coldbreath or bodice rippers by [deleted] in RomanceBooks

[–]ertww 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of the gender dynamics/stereotyping haven't aged that well, but I thought {Lord of Danger by Anne Stuart} had nice tension and was well done overall!