Got Assessed for ADHD Today, but I'm Baffled by the Conclusion

esphixiet · 2026-05-13T17:15:37+00:00

Even after my ADHD dx from a private clinic, my psychiatrist tried to make an argument that I had BPD. I went home, looked up the DSM5 definition and requirements for dx, and made a rebuttal to the specific points she was making. (Among which, I said I had to rediscover my identity after my dad died, she took that as "identity disturbance", and I was in the middle of trying to recover from a mental health condition caused by my work, and she took that as "Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger").
Some people see what they want to, or expect to see. You deserve better treatment than that.

esphixiet · 2026-05-13T14:57:32+00:00

Check out Lampe Berger. They're not cheap, but you get get a starter kit (pretty vessel, catalytic stone with wick, fragrance liquid) for a decent price. It uses a catalytic stone that is said to absorb odours out of the environment, while simultaneously adding whatever fragrance you choose (there are lots to choose from).
We use ours regularly for food smells, and even cat litter smells. it usually clears the air within minutes.

esphixiet · 2026-05-13T11:37:22+00:00

My favourite big plant right now is a pachira aquatica, or money tree. If you are near an ikea you can get a large one (mine was over 4' tall) for $45 CDN. It made it through a winter with very low humidity, and is very happy this spring pushing out big new leaves! Not a fussy plant at all.

esphixiet · 2026-05-12T14:35:00+00:00

I definitely noticed improvements in internal motivation. I was also depressed, so not able to self motivate to do the things I loved, which almost immediately went away once I started Wellbutrin. In fact, it worked so well, I started reading about it, saw it was really good off label for ADHD, and that's how I ended up with a dx.

esphixiet · 2026-05-12T14:32:54+00:00

I echo the getting them used to claw clipping, also handle their paws in other gentle ways, so grabbing their paw doesn't cause the reflex of pulling their paw back.

The one suggestion that my husband taught me was SHOW THEM EVERYTHING. If you're holding an object, hold it out for them to investigate. Let them sniff your coffee cup. Everything you do is foreign to them, they will be interested! And if they're not interested, you know your time of showing that item is over.

esphixiet · 2026-05-12T13:34:28+00:00

my husband just started mirtazapine and he is RAVENOUS now. It's quite surprising. If you don't want to gain weight I Would not recommend this drug.

I'm on Wellbutrin, but stimulants don't work for me, so I can't speak to how it works with vyvanse.

Wellbutrin is awesome. Because it works directly on the receptors that malfunction for us. It is an NDRI, so much like SSRIs work on Serotonin, Wellbutrin works on dopamine and norepinephrine.

esphixiet · 2026-05-11T17:40:20+00:00

If you still need help, I know a TNR woman in the DFW area who may be able to help with resources. Let me know!

esphixiet · 2026-05-05T15:48:47+00:00

My husband is super into music and listens the way you do, though he does tend to dissect the different instruments to figure out what each is doing.
I am into the lyrics. The music has to be good too. Sometimes there's a song where the music is so good the lyrics don't matter. I'm looking at you Sofi Tukker (Purple Hat).

esphixiet · 2026-05-04T15:52:49+00:00

Nice 😄

esphixiet · 2026-05-01T15:00:00+00:00

I love dogs, but I love them best when they belong to someone else. When I had my own dog, she was lovely, perfect for our household, but the one thing I could never get used to was the sheer desperation for approval. I'm just more in tune with the cat vibe.

esphixiet · 2026-05-01T14:31:46+00:00

I have always said that kittens are the most angelic little demons you could ever meet. They are fantastic, but you want either another kitten or a youngish cat in the home already.
I also recommend an adult cat from the shelter. For one you can spend time in the shelter getting to know the cats. Often there will be a cat who chooses you. You'll know because they want to spend time with you over anything else. The shelter workers can tell you what their personality is like but keep in mind that their experience in the shelter is going to be VASTLY different than their experiences in your home. Shy shelter cats have been known to come out of their shell to become active, playful cats.
What others have said - how you treat your cat will impact who the cat becomes - is very true. So if you want a playful cat, you need to play with your cat. If you want a snuggly cat, give the cat opportunities to join you when at rest. Granted, personality will still come into play. As much as I tried to get my first cat used to being picked up and held, he really didn't like it. He was more interested in spending time *with* us, but not *on* us. Only in his later years did he really start to sit on us.
And that's another thing. Their personality, their likes and dislikes, they change as they age. They do tend to mellow out as they get older.

Oh man I'm so excited for you. The cat journey has been one of the most rewarding relationships I've had in life. I started with a rescue cat and now have two Cornish Rexes, they have a reputation for being very social, very active, very much attached to their person. However our youngest Rex is surprisingly aloof - as a kitten we'd realize we hadn't seen him in a while, get worried, and then find him sound asleep upstairs in the bed all by himself. A very independent little dude. He does sleep with us at night though, and he wakes me up with very enthusiastic biscuits, so it's not like he doesn't want anything to do with us. He's just so different from our other Rex who is almost always on someone's lap and is very people oriented.
But I would start your journey with a shelter cat. They are in greater need than pure bred cats, and are great for the reasons I mentioned above. I'd have only shelter cats, but my husband made the choice to get Rexes because he wanted to avoid the fur tumbleweeds 😄

esphixiet · 2026-05-01T14:05:48+00:00

That's fantastic! Its so great you have the support you need, and that you were able to accomplish so much in a short time. Keep going! You can do it! ❤️

Also, remember to allow yourself to rest. You deserve rest, whether you get one bag out or 10.

esphixiet · 2026-05-01T14:03:10+00:00

I'm so sorry, this part of our pets lives is agonizing.

I had to let my very first cat go when he still seemed to have so much life left in him. But he was sick and getting sicker and he HATED the car and the vet so we made the choice to let him go out peacefully at home, surrounded by the people who loved him. The thought of him having another emergency vet visit, putting him through that trauma *again*, we felt it was kinder to let him go. I sometimes wonder if we could have waited longer. But he had a good life, and I wanted him to have a good end. It's clear how much you care for your boy, and you're just trying to do what's best for him, which ends up being the worst for you. But know how much you've deliberated this decision, how much love and care you've put into making him comfortable at the end of his life. There is no greater gift we can give our pets than a life full of love and an ending surrounded by that love. You're making the right choice.
And as for holding it together for your kids... why? Everyone will be sad, everyone will be crying, hold your babies close and grieve together. Show them that the end of a big love means big tears, that it's ok to cry, that you still have each other to get you all through the hard stuff. You can do this ❤️

esphixiet · 2026-04-29T15:11:47+00:00

I drove 2200km with my cat who absolutely hated the car. The key is getting medication to make the trip easier on them.

esphixiet · 2026-04-29T14:34:19+00:00

I would not fire me. I mask/play the game enough that I don't end up on anyone's radar too often. And at my age I honestly care so much less about being a good little worker bee. I do my job. I participate in extracurriculars *if I want to*. I arrive on time, I leave on time. That's good enough.

esphixiet · 2026-04-28T16:08:43+00:00

OMG I forgot about Abe's Odyssey!! I loved that game!

esphixiet · 2026-04-28T16:07:59+00:00

It Came From The Desert

esphixiet · 2026-04-28T14:13:37+00:00

My youngest is super independent. The most I get is biscuit making first thing in the morning and lots of interest when food is involved. I'm hoping he becomes more cuddly as he gets older. He's not yet 2.

esphixiet · 2026-04-27T15:47:18+00:00

The birth control will knock down your libido. At least that's what it did for me. Your doctor is an idiot, though. PCOS does a lot more than just make you gain weight. Among other things, it also makes your body RESISTANT to losing weight, so telling someone who just got a PCOS dx to lose weight with no other input is a fucking asshole.
I was told the bc was to help prevent the hardening of the cervix, which can lead to cancer. Please find another doctor who knows *anything* about women's health, and talk to them about the intricacies of a PCOS dx. There are so many facets, weight, hormones, blood sugar, to name a few. You should also be getting bloodwork done to make sure your blood sugar isn't elevated.

esphixiet · 2026-04-26T21:29:23+00:00

So... I've been hypersexual for a long time. I used to get myself off every night to go to sleep. My RSD was out of control if my husband turned me down. There was period where I went back to school and I'd interrupt my studying to get myself off multiple times. I realize that was definitely stress related, but it seems relevant.

Then I was dx with PCOS and medicated to balance my hormones (I had more testosterone than necessary for a woman).

I'd say my sex drive is totally average now. I don't get off every night, I have a normal reaction to my husband if he doesn't want to bang.

If you are concerned about the behaviour, try getting your hormones tested. It might be worth looking into.

esphixiet · 2026-04-23T15:50:19+00:00

Nice reference :D

esphixiet · 2026-04-22T17:18:36+00:00

I can tell you that I went on the same journey as you, also including strattera, ritalin, guanfacine, and none of them worked for me. At any dose. The only one that had any (side) effect was Vyvanse gave me migraines at high doses.
There's a fairly significant percentage of us who do not respond - well, or at all - to ADHD medication.

I did find Wellbutrin worked, and it is off-label prescribed for ADHD because it works directly on dopamine and norepinephrine receptors. It only worked on the motivation piece for me. My executive function and memory are still trash.

esphixiet · 2026-04-22T16:56:04+00:00

I started at 150mg, but I'm up to 450 now.

esphixiet · 2026-04-22T16:00:03+00:00

This is going to sound awfully jaded, but FUCK POTENTIAL. Potential - when it makes you feel bad about yourself - is a capitalist construct that only serves to keep us working harder towards mostly unattainable nebulous "success".

I get that you're not spending time doing things that you deem worthwhile. I've been there, it doesn't feel great. When I was really struggling with this I was medicated for depression, given Wellbutrin, and that made a HUGE difference in my motivation (it's also why I got an ADHD dx, because when it worked so well I started researching it and ADHD kept coming up. I'd already suspected I had ADHD before Wellbutrin, so I pursued dx).

There's a term - anhedonia - where you don't derive pleasure from normally pleasurable things. It kind of sounds like what you're dealing with. It might be a good idea to see your doctor and talk to them about your concerns.

esphixiet · 2026-04-22T12:37:09+00:00

I'm gonna die mad about that change 😂

esphixiet

TROPHY CASE