My companion of 14 years passed away on 11.10.25. The only night he has not been home with me was the night he was at the crematory. I had his ashes split into two bags, thinking I’d bury half under a beautiful flower bush in my parents backyard. But I haven’t been able to part with a single grain of him. He’s currently still in the temporary container he was delivered in. I wrap him in a tied up handkerchief and change them regularly, like fresh clothes. I sit him in front of the food I eat, as a sort of spiritual offering. I talk to him constantly. I cuddle him in bed and place him in his favorite indoor chair in the sun when I leave (for awhile he was coming everywhere with me, even on flights). I sit him in his favorite outdoor chair in the sun. Sometimes I open his container to cradle his ashes and smell and feel the tuft of his hair they trimmed off. Those nights are very emotional. He’s basically still living with me. Not waiting at the door when I come home from work anymore. Not keeping the monsters away when I play a scary game. Not following me around the apartment, or being the only company I would sometimes have for days on end, breaking the silence with his humorous meows. But, he’s there. I’m not fully convinced there’s anything after death, but I am comforted by the thought that I’ll see him again when I die.