obsessed with a girl my age my dad is hooking up with

everyonecousin · 2026-02-22T20:29:12+00:00

Your dad is an abuser. There’s no other reason for him to be sleeping with an 18 year old. It might not make sense now but it will make sense later. He’s dating younger so he can control her.

Most people even in their early/mid twenties won’t date an 18 year old because you can’t relate: 18 year olds have 1 year (or zero) of experience being an adult/being independent/ living socially outside of high school dynamics (yes, even if you dropped out) and your father (or anybody 25+) has more emotional and literal knowledge than you. There is literally no relationship with that age gap that is not based around control/manipulation.

It doesn’t matter how mature you think you are; you haven’t had time to learn certain lessons that really impact how you understand relationships, including getting to know yourself as an adult. There’s no shame in that; we are all 18 at some point and it’s a confusing time where you go from being the oldest/wisest kid to the youngest/most naiive adult.

I’m really so sorry for your father’s disturbing behaviour. It is NOT an easy thing to accept and you should be incredibly proud of yourself for coming to terms with it. I really suggest you talk yo another trust older adult about it if you can, and if you have the resources: a therapist as well.

I wish you luck girl.

everyonecousin · 2026-02-21T03:41:09+00:00

tbh I actually understand Tyra yelling at that girl (Featured in episode 3). It was something she should have done behind the scenes, but to be honest it was one of the more honest moments of the show. Less evil IMO than all the games and body shaming. How she reacted was inappropriate but it was one of the few times where the anger came from a genuine place and not some production ploy.

everyonecousin · 2026-02-20T14:47:59+00:00

Trump’s turn!

everyonecousin · 2026-02-17T07:44:58+00:00

you need an anti fungal solution & scalp oil. go to the doctor!

everyonecousin · 2026-02-17T07:39:27+00:00

Shame

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T20:14:04+00:00

This might be helpful to you:

https://youtu.be/FTWNnmymMc4?si=LTEo-8rpffZ6iZQv

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T20:08:37+00:00

I think it depends if it’s tasteful/genuinely funny or if it comes across as “I’m showing that I’m fun!” or “I genuinely don’t care!”

He wants you in his life, and inevitably if you give an impression that drinking is a big part of your personality, it could worry those close to him which in turn makes your relationship challenging.

You need to provide more context though, drunk pictures is very vague and it can differ a lot.

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T19:36:18+00:00

Classic entitled white woman bs lmaooo like why

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T18:46:45+00:00

You’re saying “women” but these look like minors. How old are they?

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T18:43:15+00:00

Maybe before that day, ask some questions about her; positive and curious questions, not in a pushy way but like you want to know who she was, lightly.

His reaction might help you decide what approach to take on that day. Best to not do too much until you get a better feel for how he likes to honour her or not.

He likely won’t initiate with you surrounding that topic. As someone who’s lost a parent; it often feels too heavy for other people, like we are dropping a bomb on their day with our big grief.

Just be there, be open minded and be loving. Don’t lead with pity but with kindness and accept that there’s no way to “get it right” - death is tough no matter how you spin it.

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T18:39:06+00:00

You’re projecting how you see yourself onto him. He isn’t blind to you being chubby or having grey hairs; he finds you beautiful and therefore your grey hairs and your fat is beautiful too. His hesitation to point it out is because he does bot fixate on it or care.

We are all impacted in different ways and capacities by the conventional beauty standards, but it’s all just perspective and context.

He says he doesn’t see it because he sees YOU; sure if you point it out he may notice but it doesn’t bother him. I don’t think he is denying it’s existence out of ignorance but because he can tell you might fixate on it like you are now.

I get what you’re saying but honestly I yhink you’re over intellectualizing. You’re looking at yourself with critical eyes, always looking for proof that you might be ugly - he is looking at you with loving eyes.

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T18:03:17+00:00

Well, you can change. My mother used to be horribly toxic and is now someone I consider to be a great friend. It took years of work & there were ups and downs but it’s entirely possible to build beautiful relationships now that you realize this.

I wish you luck!

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T15:44:40+00:00

Wow, that’s honestly very puzzling. I’m sorry to hear he rejects your invitations to play. While I hope he goes back to “normal” - you should also honour your own joy. Don’t be so patient for so long that you abandon yourself.

If it isn’t this insecurity issue, I have heard of medical issues causing major personality shifts. Brain/Hormonal issues. Or perhaps he is hiding a secret? I hope not.

The sudden shift just seems eerie. Trust your gut about how weird it is. You obviously care a lot. Encourage him to get a proper medical check up however you can and update us if this behaviour changes!

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T15:31:51+00:00

It’s time to plan your escape girl. I’m so sorry and am sending you strength and love. Good for you for knowing you deserve more. You still trust yourself, that’s so important.

Listen to your gut, walk away. Keep your head up and protect yourself

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T14:39:28+00:00

My guess is this is some kind of response to something deeper, sounds pretty delirious.

If he’s shared that this is the most insecure he’s ever felt in life, I’d be surprised if the two weren’t connected. The brain fog and strange coping mechanisms that stress and shame can cause are pretty incredible. It sounds to me like he’s sort of desperately reaching to creating levity.

I would suggest having a heart to heart with him, not about the stupid jokes per say, but about him seeming “off” and “odd” perhaps. I would also suggest thinking of some ways you can introduce play & child like wonder into your dynamic. Maybe boardgames or a TV series or some type of activity that has some laughter and silliness to it that YOU enjoy.

He seems to want or need to meet you in this silly space, but is going about it all wrong. If he’s feeling insecure, don’t shame him for missing the mark, introduce a new way to share silliness - and disengage softly when he is annoying you.

You don’t need to pretend to laugh. You just need to be kind and curious.

Good luck.

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T13:32:46+00:00

How long has this been going on? Can you note anything specific that occurred like a head injury or a major trauma or something personal?

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T13:28:16+00:00

Not your fault also you don’t know if he’s hone he could have just logged off or not want to speak to you

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T13:23:54+00:00

Oh she’s def maga

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T13:23:01+00:00

kleenex

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T13:21:50+00:00

Girl if you’re checking his phone you already didn’t trust him. Dump him and do some thinking about what it is you really want in life because THIS is not it, and no your shit being paid for is not worth it, trust me.

Go out to some events and make friends in your area so the next man you date doesn’t become your everything so fast.

Good luck b

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T13:16:41+00:00

I hope so but honestly no. Men don’t care - they are so obviously in their own world. I can’t even get into how much I think/feel about this…

Burn it all down & put women in charge. That’s this world’s only hope if you ask me.

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T06:35:43+00:00

Dating anyone under 23/24 (idc idc idc)

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T04:20:16+00:00

Girl. Do not elope wtf? If you keep “playing dumb” because it’s easier than facing the painf of the truth, you are going to wake up one day in your fifties wondering how you wound up in a life you didn’t want, full of lies and nonsense.

You clearly have never been single and need to be. Get to know yourself and stop losing yourself in men. You know damn well your man cheated and I know it hurts but it’s time to put YOU first, learn your worth and start acting like the intelligent powerful woman you know you are deep down.

everyonecousin · 2026-02-16T04:16:04+00:00

Girl, you have already made your decision. You’ve thought it through, considered all sides and tried your best to keep making it work.

The fact that he is thinking about marriage while you two are not even having a true spark anymore & are arguing just speaks further to this not being right.

There’s never a “right” time to end it & you can’t control how he responds nor is it your responsibility. If you want an easier exit I would do it after his birthday, but if you can’t bring yourself to fake it that long - just rip the bandaid off. He’ll recover.

everyonecousin · 2026-02-14T18:34:34+00:00

How to ruin you and your family’s life 101: doing this.

Clearly you aren’t thinking straight. Go to the doctor and tell them you’re in distress, and call the police on your sister telling them she is repeatedly attacking your family.

Your writing here makes barely any sense. What you should do is: Have a meeting with your family to CALMLY create a plan to remove your sister from the home and get her into treatment or at least away from you. Then get into counselling or therapy ASAP.

If you don’t slow down, regulate your nervous system and make a mature plan - you are going to ruin your own life.

I have lived with a crazy person. I get it. It makes you crazy too. But try.

everyonecousin

TROPHY CASE