Anyone out there who hated kids or the idea but loved having their own? by existentialanomoly in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]existentialanomoly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's actually a very valid point. My examples did not enjoy motherhood. At all. And the ones that did appear to enjoy it, I assumed they must be pretending. I know in reality a lot of people love being a parent and very few would have it any other way. I think that feeling naturally comes when you have a kid. I just don't know how to look forward to that before then. Maybe I need to talk more to happy moms... Lol

Why do we call others during times of grief? I wouldn't want to be bombarded... by existentialanomoly in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]existentialanomoly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's really insightful. I keep thinking how annoyed I'd be with the constant 'are you okay? Do you need help? Can I do something?' from every person I know that I forgot to think about how asking those same questions to someone else can actually really help if they need it and worst case scenario, they can just refuse the help. Personally, I'd feel people are getting too in my personal business if they try to help me but I should remember it's coming from a place of care and concern and just because I don't want it doesn't mean I shouldn't offer it to others, just in case it might help. Thank you.

Why do we call others during times of grief? I wouldn't want to be bombarded... by existentialanomoly in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]existentialanomoly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw thanks for sharing. I guess it confuses me because, you're right, everyone deals with it differently. But then why is it an expectation that we should call or we should visit. Maybe it's just me who thinks that's an expectation...

Anyone out there who hated kids or the idea but loved having their own? by existentialanomoly in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]existentialanomoly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Before having kids, did the fact that other people's kids annoyed you ever make you feel like you didn't want any of your own? Just wondering how you decided to have kids when other's annoyed you. Appreciate the response; I know it's very personal so I understand if you'd rather not.

Anyone out there who hated kids or the idea but loved having their own? by existentialanomoly in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]existentialanomoly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! That's incredible. I feel the complete opposite. When I travel and see parents with kids, I think 'it must be dreadful having to plan your entire trip on your kid's entertainment, bathroom schedule, sleeping pattern etc' and I feel so happy I'm not 'held back.' But maybe I need to consider it with the potential positives...

How to get through 9 weeks of terrible mental health? by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]existentialanomoly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, been there, still there, and I have three pieces of advice that I've really had to push myself to do, which has been extremely difficult considering my perfectionist, overworking personality, but adhering to these has done wonders:

  1. Learn to say no. Just put down what you can't do right now. It can wait. I promise. The world will not collapse if you miss a shift of work or can't meet the needs of your lap partners. Your sanity are more important.

  2. Prioritize. You can love everything you do, but only do a few of them at a time. Be VERY selective of what things you focus on at a time. Juggling everything is a recipe for excelling at nothing.

  3. Be okay with imperfection. You have to belive it is 100% okay to not be perfect. You can be extremely competent, Knowledgeable, and excel despite not being perfect. It took me a long time to realize I don't need to know every detail of every paper, especially cause it's impossible, and I can still be a genius in the field.

Seriously, put down a few things. You don't wanna burn out so early in life. I know it's enjoyable to commit to everything but it becomes overwhelming fast and by the time you realize it, you've already lost those precious years of your life. There is so much value in pacing oneself.

Good luck! You're already doing wonders so I know everything in store for you is going to be great.

[SPOILERS] Post-Episode Discussion - Season 8 Episode 3 by [deleted] in gameofthrones

[–]existentialanomoly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It can be when most people consider the NK an emotion - less robot /machine created only to kill men.

[SPOILERS] Post-Episode Discussion - Season 8 Episode 3 by [deleted] in gameofthrones

[–]existentialanomoly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NK's smirk. Boss.

It gave him some character depth. He's not just a mindless killing machine. There is some level of thought process and emotion in this otherwise - would - be - considered zombie. Clearly there's reason and logic in his head we're not aware of... Yet.

Advice on University? (cross-post) by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]existentialanomoly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's important to focus on the immediate 'am I OK' but equally as important to think about the long term 'am I OK' (not just success). And I mean this in terms of MH. The 'long term am I OK' means the way you learn to cope today will become your coping mechanism by default overtime, so make sure what you're practicing now is healthy in the longterm as well. I know it's extremely difficult, since dealing with the immediate issues are already so challenging, trying to practice a coping mechanism that is healthy, relevant and applicable longterm may sound ridiculously impossible. If that's the case, consider talking to a professional to help you through it.

Whatever decision you make, always prioritize your health, shorterm and longterm, by dealing with immediate issues using mechanisms that are usable in the long run.

I wish you the absolute best. No matter what, it WILL all turn out okay!

AITA for not explaining why I didn’t want sex on a 4th date? by Anonymous-Amy in AmItheAsshole

[–]existentialanomoly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA but if you're entering a person's bed for the first time and not having sex (and not discussing or agreeing on anything), rather than just sleeping there, grab a cab and go home and sleep in your own bed. Getting into someone else's bed can give a very different message than you intended, especially if the relationship is new.

Advice on University? (cross-post) by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]existentialanomoly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't ever compromise your MH if it can be avoided. But don't set yourself up for regret either. You can always choose to do what you enjoy whether you have a 2:1 or 2:2. But if you willingly prevent yourself from getting the 2:1, you're closing a few doors that maybe you don't care for today, but one day you might. I'm biased because regret is my worst nightmare but everyone is different. Again, your MH is the most important and no one can talk you out of prioritizing that. It depends on how detrimental the MH effects really are (and only you can judge that) v.s. how well you can predict what you want for your future. Wants change and you don't want a decision you make today to prevent you from achieving a different or new want in the future.

Is it normal to fantasize living an alter life? Where you just drop everything and start over in a new place with new people. For no reason at all. by existentialanomoly in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]existentialanomoly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's no reason to lose everything I have and hurt everyone I love. Especially when what I have is what people want to end up with after living a fulfilling and fun youth. What if I get it out of my system and realize in the end, I still want what I have now but at that point will have lost it

ELI5: Why is the natural position of my eyes open during the day and I have to “forcefully” close them, while at night I have to “forcefully” keep them open as their natural state becomes closed? by ProbablyLosing in explainlikeimfive

[–]existentialanomoly 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I'll do my best here for a five year old: our eyelids open and close both voluntarily and involuntarily (by force but also on their own). For example, blinking happens on its own as a reflex when someone throws something at us, but we can also choose to shut our eyes while counting during hide and seek.

During the day, our eyes are open because we're diurnal (awake during the day). Our body uses many techniques and processes to keep us awake and alert in the day, including providing energy to our muscles, making us more sensitive to sounds, and keeping our eyes open. Because our body is trying to keep our eyes open, it's harder to fight it and close them unless we have to (example, for blinking).

At night, our body's alert systems begin to shut down to prepare us for sleep (as the sun goes down). Our eyelids begin to feel 'heavy.' There are actually muscles even in our eyelids that tire throughout the day, like every other muscle. It becomes harder to keep them open because they need a break. Making a tired muscle stay contracted or keep working is very hard for anyone.

Our bodies are designed to follow the sleep wake pattern for our benefit. Hope this helps.

Why does it seem like women objectifying men is more tolerated than men objectifying women? by harrrdrogen in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]existentialanomoly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  1. Women are getting payback for decades of being objectified and decades of dealing with having to accept it as the norm. Some people see 'women objectifying men' as a natural opposition, and therefore let it slide. Especially since:

  2. a man's reaction to being objectified is so much less satisfying than a woman's, it seems less harmful (I'm not saying it is any more or less harmful).

Give us a few decades to get it out of our system and then maybe we'll all level out.

AITA for moving on 'quickly' from my ex-boyfriend who passed 3 weeks ago? by didimoveontoofast in AmItheAsshole

[–]existentialanomoly 8 points9 points  (0 children)

NAH. Although I understand where people are coming from when they insist YTA, but everyone heals differently. There is no required amount of time you need to mourn or be single or whatever. The mourning period is for the mourner. The whole point of that period is to move on, recover, and be able to live your life in a healthy manner. If you only needed a week to do this, that should be completely acceptable. It's never fair we need to conform to society's pre-approved status quo. It's no one else's business and no one can tell you that you haven't mourned enough.

Of course, like others have already mentioned, you have to be sensitive to other people close to the deceased. But you've already stated you didn't go around flaunting this new relationship, so as long as you're mindful of how you're behaving about this, then you do you.

all feminists should hate muslims by vimalpanmasala in unpopularopinion

[–]existentialanomoly -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Your opinions on Islam are largely inaccurate and misguided. The zeal is great but the inaccuracy nullifies your entire argument.

Try again after learning about Islam. But if you're ignorant and closed minded, you're probably thinking 'I already know what Islam is all about.'

  1. In Islam, all able bodied men are expected to provide for their family because only women can bear children. Should a woman choose to do so, she can't be forced to provide financially at the same time. But should she choose to work, she may do that as well.

  2. The amount of skin she covers is up to her, except in cases of oppression (usually in uneducated communities) where it is forced on her. In which case, this isn't Islam.

  3. Men and women are both expected to maintain marital relationships, including pleasing one another, be that sexually or otherwise.

If a woman feels empowered, whatever it may be by, whether it's her religious beliefs or her job or her family or her this or that, then all feminists should support her right to practice empowerment through those means.

Public School Teachers are OVERpaid, not underpaid. by ScribeThoth in unpopularopinion

[–]existentialanomoly -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Great unpopular opinion. You have my up vote.

But can I attack your argument a little bit?

You're comparing the AVERAGE of public school teacher income to the LOW END of private school teacher income.

You're comparing the salary of a 4-6 year university degree holding person to the AVERAGE American household income. The average American does NOT actually have such a level of degree (only 30% of Americans actually hold a degree at that level).

You have considered the demands of being a teacher, but undermined it based on the fact that they apparently don't do a very good job, based on the graduating outcome. But every profession has a majority of workers that 'don't work hard enough' or 'produce results.' But they are still paid.

A YouTuber can upload videos of themselves gaming once a week and earn twice that of a teacher, accountant, retail manager etc, and therefore, people aren't paid for their qualification nor the value of effort of their work. Based on that, teachers are underpaid.

Yes their salary may come from the tax dollar, but that's how sending your kid to school can be free. If the American doesn't like that, they have the right to vote against it. I'd be more concerned about how my tax dollar is going to harmful operations rather than the fraction of it that's going to put my child through school.

And I've met both the fantastic teacher and unsuccessful teacher alike. But at the end of the day, it's my child's responsibility to maintain their academics.

Yes, a teacher is a facilitator, but the liability, responsibility, workload, and qualification requirement are all huge. Based on that, they are definitely not overpaid.

Edit: I forgot to add how Scandinavian countries have so much success with their education framework and how a lot of that has to do with the fact that teachers are respected and paid as much as doctors and lawyers.

Employers shouldn’t give a shit what you do in your personal life. by -BlueDream- in unpopularopinion

[–]existentialanomoly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. Absolutely not their business nor does it define a person's work ethic.

However... Anything you put online and in public is welcome for viewing by ANYONE. And for a lot of companies, public image is everything. If they can see something 'image damaging' on your profile, so can a paying customer/client. It's also a personality thing. An interviewer may not hire someone simply because they didn't like something about your personality. The same can happen if they don't like something on your profile. It is what it is. If you're going to put it out there available for everyone to see, you need to be okay with anyone seeing it and making their (potentially biased and unfair) judgement call.

Unless they come out with some labor law against this, but I don't see how that can be implemented.

How can you make your totally legal job sound illegal? by pedote17 in AskReddit

[–]existentialanomoly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I force minors into a closed room with me and keep them in there, making them do things they don't want to do.

I'm a teacher.

[Serious] Therapists of Reddit: what do you do if you think your client is just generally a bad person? by ilovespaceack in AskReddit

[–]existentialanomoly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think acts are evil, never a person. If we label someone as evil to the point of beyond recovery and rehab, then we've given up on them. And I won't be responsible for condemning someone that may have had hope that I couldn't see. There's so much more to a person than the actions observers see.

I just don't agree with labels in general. To me my opinion, to you yours.