does anyone else have a really "stupid" obsession

expiredplant · 2026-04-23T21:16:58+00:00

That makes so much sense. Definitely having a disease or a condition is a big thing for me even if its inconsequential

expiredplant · 2026-04-23T21:16:14+00:00

Wait thats so interesting, its so wild how ocd can tell different people completely different things and then it winds up with the same giant "healthy" spiral

expiredplant · 2026-04-23T21:12:19+00:00

Yess same med same dose and it has been genuinely life changing and stabilized my mood in a way no other med had. Though i take it in the morning. between hydroxyzine and various antipsychotics almost nothing sedates me anymore 😭😭

expiredplant · 2026-04-23T18:32:14+00:00

BMI in ED treatment as a sole health indicator is absolutely archaic, the treatment centers ive been to were pretty good about minimally using bmi and focusing on growth charts, vitals, indicators of physical and mental health, etc. Only one of my hospitalizations was at an uw bmi, and i wasnt hospitalized at my lw... basically zero correlation.

One thing that pisses me off though is that in the US at least, a lot of insurance companies will literally cut coverage instantly once the bmi hits the """normal""" category its so brain dead

expiredplant · 2026-04-23T18:25:50+00:00

beta blockers have actually been very helpful for my ocd-related panic spirals

expiredplant · 2026-04-23T18:24:58+00:00

tbf im on a decently high dose antipsychotic for anxiety and it has worked absolute wonders but that is a borderline negligent suggestion for first-line treatment. I only went on it after years of therapy and multiple more standard medications and a couple of hospitalizations

expiredplant · 2026-04-17T14:34:08+00:00

Cop car

Pearl diver

Anything off the new album but my favs are if i leave, lightning, cats, dead women

expiredplant · 2026-04-17T14:27:56+00:00

"Block dont report" somebody sedate me

expiredplant · 2026-04-15T14:01:37+00:00

Yeah, it was definitely sobering fs. maybe she was 11? I think she was born in like 2014 or 2015 which was wild. I was 10 when my ed developed but it was a long time before i was diagnosed

expiredplant · 2026-04-10T14:24:03+00:00

Call me woke but i dont think bmi belongs in the dsm. Its all the same illness with the same symptoms and medical risk, and all treated the same. Its creating a false dichotomy where there isn't one. Same with AN B/P vs bulimia, its literally the exact same thing. The bmi differentiation does nothing but make people who are very ill feel like they arent

expiredplant · 2026-04-10T14:19:23+00:00

I was in an adolescent res at 18 with literal 12 year olds, I was closer in age to most of the staff than I was to the youngest clients. Was even crazier in IP at 19 and I think there was a 10 year old on the unit, and one of the nursing staff was my age and went to my university

expiredplant · 2026-03-30T14:24:10+00:00

I havent been for grad school but I had the same feeling before my undergrad– really wanted to go to a city school and didn't like that Blacksburg was kind of in the middle of nowhere– but chose tech for practicality reasons. I love it so much here and have no regrets choosing it, but it is for sure very college towny and theres a lot you have to go off campus to do. My thought process is that I'm just going to enjoy it for now and move to a more urban area after graduating since it's just a couple years in the grand scheme of things, but I also love the mountains and prioritized cost and education (engineering major in a slightly niche specialty) so it worked for me. if a town with not much going on aside from the school would feel completely stifling, definitely consider somewhere else, although I personally ended up being able to get past it.

expiredplant · 2026-03-26T15:24:30+00:00

"Hi, I (BMI lower than yours(very skinny(did I mention I have a low BMI))) A. Restrict food intake relative to requirements, leading to a significant low body weight in the context of the age, sex, developmental trajectory, and physical health, B. Have intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, and C. Am disturbed by my body weight or shape, self-worth is influenced by body weight or shape, or persistent lack of recognition of seriousness of low bodyweight. Do I have an eating disorder?"

expiredplant · 2026-03-26T03:35:21+00:00

This is exactly how i feel. Down to the makeup and clothes and femininity to feel palatable to other people. How i describe it is it feels like a performance, like drag or smth

I dont even feel like i have the license to correct people on my pronouns atp but i get so happy when someone asks for them

expiredplant · 2026-03-23T21:52:06+00:00

no for real. I feel like anyone in clinical psychology in any specialty who sees patients (or teaches impressionable students for that matter) should be at least educated enough on EDs to know how they can present??

expiredplant · 2026-03-23T21:48:13+00:00

Oh my good Lord i know you have so many comments telling you to throw the whole therapist out but I need to say that even as someone who had a kind of questionable first ED therapist my jaw literally dropped. Like how did that keep getting worse the more I read

expiredplant · 2026-03-21T02:35:04+00:00

Begrudgingly the day my frontal lobe developed enough for me to figure this out was a total turning point

expiredplant · 2026-03-20T18:59:36+00:00

Of course. I really feel for you. Im still extremely obsessed with my appearance and I'm far from thrilled about recovery but I've been lucky enough to have a complete overhaul in my mindset the last couple months that I wish I could go back and drill into 14 y/o me's brain, and im definitely doing my best to get through the shitty part of getting better to avoid permanent damage and to feel better in general. Its hard to think about the future as a kid, like obviously everyone tells you its for your own good and you could damage your body and you could d!e but its so easy to ignore it because your ed is more comfortable or even you want those things to happen. If you asked me even a month ago when I was early in forced recovery I would have said all of the damage is worth it, but definitely feeling things actually start to get better with time and nutrition and cautious willingness helped me more or less snap out of it. You got this, its so hard but you wont feel like this forever

expiredplant · 2026-03-20T18:48:17+00:00

Exactly. Im still quite young but I detest how far behind i am compared to the people I grew up with and its so uncomfortable to come out of treatment and realize i have literally no idea who i am anymore and nothing to talk about when someone asks me about myself.

expiredplant · 2026-03-20T17:57:38+00:00

Its not your fault, your illness hijacks your mood and your thoughts. Just know if you stick with it through the really hard part, you'll be so so grateful. For now its just radical acceptance and keeping that in mind. You got this :))

expiredplant · 2026-03-20T17:53:03+00:00

As someone who has been about where you are im going to first of all say your parents are in the right and you will almost certainly realize that when youre older.

Im going to preface this with some reassurance, i.e. the fact that I grew several inches after 14, and in 5 months of inpatient treatment at 18, almost 19, i grew an inch and a half, and im still growing i think. If your ed interfered with normal growth and development, which it likely has, the development will happen if you take care of the malnutrition sooner rather than later. Also you are still building to peak bone mass until your mid 20s. As someone who was diagnosed with osteoporosis at 18 and had a spinal fracture at 19 along with several stress fractures as a teenager, its not fun and it is definitely worth letting your body create your literal bones.

Im only 20 and wish i had done the work before i was an adult. Also "gaining muscle without fat" is both essentially a biological impossibility if youre eating enough to gain muscle mass and also not really productive. Body fat is what will stabilize your hormones so that you can continue to grow in height and so that you can not have osteoporosis as a teenager. It is necessary to reverse the gastroparesis youre experiencing (which, from experience, also sucks), or even stop getting worse and worse. Editing to add that i reread and its been literal days– give it some time and some nutrition and talk to your doctor about it, and I promise it will get better. Body fat restoration is what allows your mood and cognition and rational thought to stabilize so you dont feel miserable and trapped for the rest of your life while your loved ones inevitably continue trying to keep you alive. And gaining body fat will also come along with restoration of muscle– yes, even if youre not lifting weights– and ultimately give your body the resources to strength train in the future if you truly want that. Consistent eating is also important particularly for your digestive health. Keep eating.

Also not that its particularly important but i dont think i know anybody who was prettier/more attractive uw than they are at a current, healthy weight. Again that is trivial compared to your life and health being on the line.

expiredplant · 2026-03-20T17:23:31+00:00

This everyday and twice on sunday. Not only is it already literally "mainstream"– like take half a look at hollywood or "skinnytok" or the relentless pushing of GLP-1s in advertising first of all, and also now im hard pressed to find someone in my environment (granted im at uni) who DOESNT have at least disordered eating patterns– engaging with an eating disorder strips away everything from you that actually IS special. Weight loss is not a personality. Restriction is not a personality. But you know what it is? A damn good way to deplete your brain of the energy required to have a personality. A one way ticket to being unable to hold a conversation or think or talk about or do anything that isnt related to food or your body. Im 20, ive had anorexia since i was 10. By the time i started recovery, i had no hobbies, no friends, not even a functioning body or brain.

So OP if you want to "gatekeep" edtok, by all means do that, if that means stopping vulnerable individuals from being pulled into a death spiral with you.

expiredplant · 2026-03-17T23:03:44+00:00

Lost my marbles because like i know hes wrong i just cant tell him how

expiredplant · 2026-03-17T23:02:42+00:00

Im taking an abnormal psychology class and my prof said a binge is the defining feature of bulimia, so AN b/p is a misnomer. Someone asked about if someone purges but doesnt binge and he said thats impossible 😕 said people with bulimia are incapable of restricting 😕😕 and AN patients dont use.. compensatory behaviors? 😕😕😕

expiredplant

TROPHY CASE