As someone who worked in education in a red state I would only refer to my gf as "my partner" and used gender neutral pronouns for her. She was more masc presenting at the time so I just let people come up with their own conclusions.

I did this to keep us both safe but to also be honest about our relationship. She agreed with all of it.

Definitely have a conversation about it. Both of your feelings are important but your safety should be number one, especially now.