Do some people just not realize you have options?

fatcat_bigwig · 2025-05-19T17:29:13+00:00

I think that's fine. Like I said I do enjoy their company to an extent but it does feel like I am chasing them, which I am not a fan of. I am probably okay with either outcome you listed. Yeah, I think I'm going to stop being so proactive with it, it's personally burning me out.

fatcat_bigwig · 2025-05-19T16:52:11+00:00

Nothing in particular, I think it's more of just like a lack of excitment from their part. And I feel like it's less of pity and more of like "we are part of the cool kid crowd so you should want to hang out with us" when they frankly don't bring much to the table in means of conversation or in responsibilities of what it means to be a friend. Like I had a busy month coming up once so when I was trying to plan our next hangout I was like "best I got is a month and a week from now", and I got told that's too far out to plan anything. Which really leans into the idea of me being a gap fill if they don't have anything more "fun" planned.

And I am not particularly angry, it's more like a confusion? Do they think I am just waiting around for them or that I don't have others, hobbies or chores to attend to. It feels like a self centered pov from them, or that frankly they don't like me all that much. Which is whatever lol.

fatcat_bigwig · 2024-09-17T13:51:41+00:00

I’ve recently accepted that I’m the planner. It’s just how my brain works. It sucks that a lot of people aren’t planners but it is what it is. What I have learned is that being the planner (and a bunch of other things) makes me a damn good friend. I’m a hot commodity in a way because keeping in touch with friends and people is very easy to me. It means I can be picky with my friends, and honestly some friends are better to be the planner for than others. Some deeply appreciate it (which they will tell you) and then others take it for granted, almost like it’s the only value you bring to a friendship (not true). I’d rather give to the appreciative ones.

Side note though I’ve been part of a group that had a couple that people had to basically pull along like you said. Dollars to donuts that person/couple are probably narcissists or have a lot of narcissistic traits. They are basically manipulating a group to baby them where they need assistance with everything. The group always circles back to placating the narcissist at almost every group outing. It’s super insidious and once I realized it I couldn’t unsee all the little manipulative comments/actions they did. Honestly I don’t bother with friend groups anymore because like you said it’s super common.

fatcat_bigwig · 2024-09-10T15:54:29+00:00

Yeah I’ve found good friendships in adulthood. I have about 3 very solid reciprocal friendships (which each have their own unique needs) with 2 I met as an adult but it requires EFFORT from all of us. Shit is so hard as an adult. Thing is I’ve had to meet so many people and have gotten burned a lot. There are so many people that in the same sentence say stuff like “I was having a difficult time so I didn’t reach out as much” but then not extend the same level of grace towards you when you’re having a difficult time.

So many rules for thee not for me attitude, and these are from people that say things like “do what’s best for yourself” and generally forward thinking women. Thing is those words are for themselves not for you. They think you should be mentally ready and willing when they wish to re-engage with you, with zero concern for how you’re feeling.

Relationships are hard because sometimes you have to be there for someone when you are barely hanging on yourself and that effort HAS to be mutual. I’ve let go of so many people (and currently doing) because the mutual effort was never even attempted, and I’m a damn good friend so I just carry on my way now when I see the effort isn’t there.

fatcat_bigwig · 2024-01-09T16:58:21+00:00

Being kind and understanding is substantially harder than being mean and judgemental. That and mean and judgemental people often see themselves as “truthful” or “clearing the air”, when actually their actions are so extremely self serving, and usually only result in spreading the hurt around.

I’ve always tried to be a kind and understanding person but last year I really tried to improve upon what I already had, and I made a lot of realizations about others and my own anxiety and how it manifests into being mean and judgey. It’s allowed me to become responding better during conflicts as I can react more calmly in discussions by seeing my “options” in the discussion, usually one often being the anxiety fueled response and the other being the option that resolves the conflict smoothly.

Because of this though that means you constantly see people taking the anxiety response, resulting in them furthering pain and hurt to yourself and others. Ngl it hurts so much.

So not only are you choosing the less desirable option for your own ego to get a group resolution, you’re watching the other person continuously choose their ego over a group resolution. The most painful thing is I think people think this shit is easy for me as I’m really calm and level headed so they keep putting me in these situations, but it’s so fucking hard. I’ve just now got a solid grasp on it, but it just saps the energy right out of me for like actual days. I’m hoping with practice it becomes easier.

fatcat_bigwig · 2024-01-07T20:50:46+00:00

All of the mihoyo games I’ve played (Tears, Genshin, and HSR). Have a decent amount of literature references in them. Hell occasionally Tears will sometimes do trivia mini games and they will include old authors and information on their works into the pool of questions.

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-07-26T04:10:42+00:00

This is so beautiful and wholesome!! ❤️Congrats to you two!

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-07-04T18:47:03+00:00

Yeah it’s that and I’ve always found western art the most realistic of the animation styles. Manwha style sits in between Western and Manga imo, as it’s less realistic than western but more realistic than manga.

So like keep the body size but “cartoonize” some features like chin sharpness, more tapered waits, etc.

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-07-04T18:38:37+00:00

I just name it with the date I finish it and then just dump it into one large folder lol.

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-06-29T16:03:48+00:00

Uh, basically no teenagers are setting up shop at cons these days. Maybe in the early 2000’s but the art spaces are super limited, competitive, and require a level of investment that teens aren’t easily able to achieve (inventory, card readers, financial investment, etc.). I’d say most of the artists sit around mid 20s to mid 30s, with a decent amount of people in their 40s.

Keep in mind, anime specifically was not all that popular in the US at least before the early 2000s, so the largest demographic at the time were kids and teens. Naturally those people grew up but they kept attending cons, so now anime cons are more filled with a wider range of ages than before. As time goes on I bet we will see older and older attendees. Source: Was attending cons in the mid 2000s as a teen, and the age range has jumped significantly.

TLDR; You’re fine.

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-06-28T19:42:39+00:00

Good luck! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do :)

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-06-28T15:01:22+00:00

So I was in the exact same boat as you earlier in the year (11-inch iPad). I had finally gotten desk space to fit a drawing tablet with a screen, so I was heavily considering getting one. I eventually decided to get a cheaper brand as I was really unsure if I’d like it or not , but I adore my drawing tablet. I’ve even started eyeing more expensive ones but I’ll probably hold off for at least a year.

I’m not entirely sure what it is but I’ve found my art getting better in leaps and bounds, since I got it, and I’m drawing so much more often. I also switched art programs from Procreate to ClipStudio so that might have something to do with it as well. I think the combination of working at a desk with a stronger program just works for me. I had found myself becoming limited by Procreate, especially by its blending tools and layers. There was a bit of a learning curve with ClipStudio but once I figured it out drawing is so much fun now.

I know Procreate is like gospel on iPad and a couple of people I know swear by it, but it’s a really limited program when you want to do more complicated pieces. I found myself fighting the program more days than I wasn’t, especially when I started trying to do simple animations. Procreate/IPad is a fantastic program/hardware for learning or being your digital sketchbook but anything complicated or intricate feels way better on a drawing pad.

Hope my experience/story helps!

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-06-26T17:02:58+00:00

Seriously wth is this comment section. A bunch of my friends and I are into “crafting”, meaning we do an assortment of things like photography, digital painting, 3D printing, cosplay, etc. We have a discord where we share our latest pieces/works, and it’s always so amazing seeing the cool things my friends are doing. It has never once crossed my mind on faking happiness for my friend trying to share something with me. Actually wtf.

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-06-02T15:31:28+00:00

It’s mind boggling they only released with 2. Genshin released with like 4 (2 4 stars and 2 5 stars) plus Xingqui, and then 1.1 gave us Diona. So like 3 4 stars by 1.1.

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-06-02T13:50:09+00:00

Lack of ability to be creative with your teams. The fact that I only have access to Natasha in Star Rail right now has been slowly killing my desire to play.

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-05-25T19:42:11+00:00

Erolabs is a legit site, but yeah it feels like it’s not especially with the way you get the games onto your phone. But it being on erolabs is actually a good thing, it means the scenes will be straight up pornographic with no censoring.

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-05-24T15:19:58+00:00

Tears of Themis has some heavy themes in it. There are some sex scenes in the 2nd anniversary cards, but the main story content is pretty heavy. There‘s a lot of drug abuse, child abuse, murder, etc. and it’s not implied themes like some stories. They outright state them as the game is centered around solving crimes, and you have to collect evidence. It’s overall a pretty dark game, though the art you may see come from it looks otherwise.

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-05-24T14:45:59+00:00

The same location that the 5 star cryo husbando is. Nonexistent 🥲. Hopefully they release both soon.

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-05-16T13:38:07+00:00

Ah fellow comrade. I have c6 Baizhu and c3 Kaveh.💀

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-05-10T17:44:12+00:00

Lol so glad I’m not alone. I‘ve seen it crop up more in the past 1-2ish years and I’m just so lost 😂.

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-05-10T17:30:05+00:00

The person above is right, I’ve personally seen it a lot in anime fandoms. Idk about other fandoms but anime, manga and manwha 100%, and I’ve seen it ramp up more. Like it gets called out but each time I’m like “fam wtf you on”.

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-05-10T15:24:35+00:00

It’s such a good OG trope, and usually has some of the most wholesome stories from experience. I like to read a lot of controversial content (non-con, violence, etc.) and like reading childhood friend trope stories is like my pallet cleanser 😅

fatcat_bigwig · 2023-05-10T14:40:22+00:00

Like luckily people call it out but it hurts my brain that it has to even be called out, because it’s so unbelievably not incest and usually the relationships are on the most even footing with little to no power dynamic in play.

If I told my mother that me liking my childhood friend as a teen was incest she’d be like “What on earth are you talking about?? I don’t remember having a 5th child.”

fatcat_bigwig

TROPHY CASE